Social butterflies

We may no longer use candy hearts to express our feelings (or maybe we do sometimes), but we still converse in all different ways. This is something that we, as 20somethings, often struggle with. After college, we enter an environment in which exclamations of "No way!" or "That's hot" are no longer accepted as appropriate forms of excitement. In order to be taken seriously we have to use bigger words and better grammar. We have to differentiate even more between professional speech and friendship slang.

But not only does our language have to change, we also have to strengthen our conversation skills. Even in a world in which we can immediately communicate with people on the opposite side of the world, we are still surrounded by each other and need to know how to talk to each other. It is the simplest way to get information across, simply stand in front of someone and talk. Despite our ability to be able to see everything, talk to everyone and have all of our needs met without leaving our house, we still have a need to be amongst other people.

Starting a conversation is easy. Ask about the current event you are attending (what did you think of so-and-so's book) or even a simple question about their well-being or how a personal worry turned out. Simply think about your relationship with this person and what you know about them, and ask to get more information.

Continuing a conversation is a little trickier. Asking questions about this person will allow the other person to talk about themselves, everyone's favorite subject. Every time you speak to someone they reveal something more about themselves. Try to remember these details and refer back to them in the same conversation, and again later. One way to remember such life events in a friends life is to write them down, such as keeping a prayer journal.

It is also important to be yourself. If you sit back, relax, and watch, those who are socially confident stumble over their words and ramble too, they just have confidence. No one is perfect, and the sooner your realize this the better. Ask your friends to list what is great about you, or list them yourself. This list will give you confidence and help you relax! This is the single most important thing in being socially successful.

Don't over think what you have to say. you may miss what the other person is saying. And you are more likely to ramble and stumble over your words when you are nervous. So just breath. Think about the people you will see, think about what you will say to begin a conversation, and most importantly think about how much information you will share about yourself. TMI really is the only conversation killer.