Starting Over

One of the best things about life is that everyday you wake you, you can start over. You can decide to be a different person, a better person. Now I can't say you can change everything about your life (your job, your living circumstances, your credit), just by waking up and wishing for it, but by having this attitude, that you are ready to change you can make a drastic difference.

I have written about my health several times. Just to refresh, I have Crohn's disease. It is a very serious and very unpredictable digestive disease. I was very sick in middle school, and went into remission after a bowel resection. That surgery was 11 years ago. Over the past 5 years I have slowly becoming ill again, and my Crohn's became fully active about a year ago.

About a month ago I woke up in severe pain, and went to the ER. From the first moment I stepped in doctors were mentioning another surgery. I was caught by surprise because my own doctor was hopeful that we could get me into remission without surgery, and I wasn't nearly as sick as I was in middle school. A few days later I had my second bowel resection.

I was granted the chance to start over. Over the past year I have lost 20 pounds, lost a significant amount of energy, missed out on social events, and hadn't been able to properly organize my new home. I already knew that my Crohn's was active, but it was a relief to realize the reason for my recent extreme lethargy.

I was granted a chance to start over, and I am going to take full responsibility for myself and use my fresh start to the fullest. The Lord has granted me this start over at the best time possible. I am ready to start my career and my life, and with my new health I can put everything into this.

Soon after being released from the hospital I discovered some websites that would help with just this. They are all free, and are all designed to make over different parts of your life. I am very excited to follow the free programs, and set up routines that will give me a clean and orderly home when I wake up, peace and serenity, lots of energy, and be a better person to those around me.

The first is called FlyLady. FlyLady is a sweet woman with lots of advice, suggestions and encouragement for those who are interested in becoming her Flybabies, She, and several others, hand out daily advice and encouragement on cleaning and organizing your home, and on improving your life. There are a series of baby steps that I have just begun that help you to set up routines to keep your house clean. Most of them involve a daily wipe down or few minute clean. It is amazing how much can be cleared in just 2 minutes, and how great ones sink can look if you wipe it out once a day. A new, small task is added on each day, and individualization is encouraged. Once the baby steps are completed there are daily missions to be done around the house as your time allows, and a new task is added on monthly that just takes a few minutes. This program is very well organized, and did I mention free! I have really enjoyed every part of it so far.

Another program is similar to FlyLady, but a little bit looser. This one I have barely started, and look forward to starting it fuller soon. It is called HabitHacker. This one is comprised of three ninety day plans, Create, Nest and SOS. I'm going to do Nest first. This involves cleaning and decluttering your home. Each day you receive an email about the next days project. For instance, spend 5 minutes cleaning one area off, and keep it clean. The Create program helps you discover your inner artist and the SOS program is for your personal health.

Currently I am reading a book and the accompanying blog, the Happiness Project. A women, who was completely content with her life, decided she wanted to be more than content. She did a vast amount of research on areas where she felt she could improve, created resolutions, and followed them. In January she decided to "boost energy," and in February she decided to "remember love." I have just begun reading about March in which she decided to "aim higher." While reading this book I have gone ahead and written down various areas in which I plan to improve my life. I am very encouraged by what she has discovered in herself, and how much it has helped others around her. Ones attitude is truly contagious.

My final plan is to completely revamp my health. I have always been very small, and viewed exercise as a method to loose weight, and then maintain it. Over the past year I have changed this view, but was too weak to act on it. I viewed dieting the same way and would eat junk food as much as I could. I plan on beginning a loose workout plan, simply running and walking regularly, and more importantly I am going to work with a nutritionist about eating healthy for me.

The most invasive part of my plan for health comes from a 7 step plan to break a real addiction that I, and many others, have. It is a sugar addiction. Dr. Kathleen Desmaisons is a therapist who specialized in alcoholism, is a recovering sugar addict, and is currently researching sugar addiction. She noticed that a lot of recovering alcoholics exhibited the same symptoms she did in relation to sugar, and that many alcoholics turned to sugar. Her own experience has shown that she feels physically and mentally better when she doesn't eat sugar, something I have noticed as well. And she has discovered that there is more to both addictions than just saying no. Her book "The Sugar Addicts Total Recovery Program" outlines these sevens steps, and how to customize them for yourself. The steps are primarily about changing your diet to satisfy the chemical imbalance that causes both sugar addiction and alcoholism. There is also a website, called Radiant Recovery, that accompanies this book that outlines the seven steps, has a support community and online classes to help you with each step and beyond. I am very excited about this program and knowing that this will give me many more healthy years.

These are my self improvement plans. Everyone has areas in which they can improve themselves, and these programs will by no means make me perfect. But I would encourage everyone to wake up every morning and tell themselves "this is a fresh start," and to do what you can to enjoy your day to the greatest extent possible.

Jesus has become too generic

Imagine a recent historical figure who fought the standards of today's society. A person whom many followed, but also whom many hated, and who willingly died for the cause. (a good example is MLK)
But of course this person was a mere human, with limitations just like the rest of us. Now this person claimed to be the son of God, birthed by a miracle, with the power to heal, expel demons, and forgive sin. What would be your reaction?
We have been created numb to the idea that Jesus appeared to be a mere human, which was the importance of the Lords purpose in sending Him. He sent a His only son, in a humans body, to suffer alongside us, to be disbelieved by us, and to be shunned by us, in order to save us.
Imagine your reaction to the claims that He made, and remember the truth that we all believe as naturally as 2 plus 2.


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Forgiveness

What we do today and what we did yesterday is done. There is nothing we can do about it, it is done, forget about it.




Day in and day out we make mistakes. We put our faith in success, meaning something different for everyone else. Some want to get that great promotion (then the next promotion, and the next one), or have the husband, house and car, and children, or the look of being 5, 10, and 20 years younger than we are.

Putting your heart and soul into something tangible, or an ideal, can only disappoint you. Nothing is perfect, and so it will only break you even more. And when these things disappoint us, we blame them.

There is only one perfect thing in this world, that is the Lord, our savior, Jesus Christ. I'm currently reading a book called The Reason for God by the amazing Timothy Keller.

We live in a broken world. Nothing in our current world is perfect, including us. We sin, everyday, when we put our hearts and souls into something else, or in other words we idolize something else. This is the core of all sin, idolizing.

But we have already been forgiven. Why do we have to be forgiven? Sinning is like turning our back and walking away from God, and this hurts Him very much. And unfortunately every time someone or something is hurt, someone must pay for it.

One example would be your friend, whom you allow to borrow your car, and who then backs it into your fence. Someone must pay for this damage. The same go for times when a friend, coworker or stranger hurts your feelings.

In the instance of feelings hurt, or disappointment in an ideal, you have two options: forgive and forget, or think about it all the time and seek revenge. Seeking revenge will simply stress you and hurt the other person. Think about how you feel when you think about what hurt you? Is this a feeling that you want to feel all the time? Will your energy and time be well used against this silly thing that hurt you? What kind of mood will you be in, and how will those around feel about spending time with you? Does this sound like an ideal situation?

Being hurt is never an ideal situation. It causes pain and anguish, but forgiving can help this feeling. Revenge is a natural feeling, and forgiving will cause you more pain, but think of all that you have done in revenge. The next day, hour or minute have you still felt as though this was the best decision? But rather, forgiving allows you to move on, learn from your situation, and loving what has remained in your life.

I once held grudges over anything. People would do something silly, and I wouldn't talk to them, I would spend all of my energy avoiding them and giving them attitudes. But I as unhappy, lonely, and had no friends. I have since realized a lot about life. That was all wasted energy. Friends, coworkers and strangers have hurt me, but I just moved on. They made their decision, it may have been a bad day, or I may have truly wronged them.

But what is done is done. Putting energy into trying to fix the problem will only make you unhappy. Through the Holy Spirit a full man was born of a virgin, who was also fully human. He came to be a teacher and a leader. He partied with the wrong crowd, and befriended everyone who would accept him. Then He was falsely accused of sinning, and was put to an agonizing death. Through Him we are forgiven of our sins. God no longer stresses about all the sinning we have done against Him, because He has forgiven s. He is now simply working towards saving us and restoring the world to the way it was meant to be, with no suffering, pain, fear or sin. So follow His lead, and accept Him into your life, because He will hold your hand through this difficult journey of forgiveness.

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Making a Home

This past weekend I had a wonderful time with 3 of my closest friends. We sat around with wine and caught up with each other. This is part of what makes a home, somewhere where you and your friends can relax and unwind.

When deciding how to make your house, condo or apartment a home, it's always best to start with a plan. In my former apartment, I chose a wall color and went from there. Every few months I changed my mind on the style. This time I spent nearly a year in advance deciding color schemes, layouts, and decorative details. Combine is somewhere where you can see it all at once. This could be on a bulletin board, or in a notebook. I taped sheets of printer paper together for each room and taped photos to these pages. Any little detail I saw that I liked I printed and circled. It has made decorating so much easier. I have been able to go out and buy exactly what I wanted with no regrets.




No matter your style, if you like to socialize at all, your living area should be set up in a way to condone this. This is why I have a big, comfortable sofa, and several comfortable chairs facing a center point.

To save money it is also important to use as much of your furniture as possible. If you look closely, the chairs covered in white "slipcovers" are my former dining room chairs
- To do this I bought a bag of non-fusible queen sized batting, and roughly cut sections to go over the chair. If you plan on using the chairs again later, but tight slip covers in a light color to put on under the batting to avoid damage to the chairs. I then put white slipcovers on top of the batting. I couldn't find what I wanted in time for my gathering, so I used my white drapes. I folded and hot glued them in the back and I plan on sewing and neatening up the bottom. If space is an issue for you, it is better to keep them short to show more space between the legs.




Bright colors also set a brighter mood. This is just the beginning of where every home differs, every person has a different opinion on color. I chose a preppy, bright and happy pink and green for my color scheme, with light yellow walls (that is the actual paint name). Everything around my apartment is bright pink and green, it looks bright and happy no matter my mood.

In my opinion, it is important not to leave your personal items laying around. Your home should look lived in, but guests should be able to sit down comfortably without worried they may see something too personal.




I keep magazines on my table for myself and guests. I also keep my coat, keys, purse and a place to put mail by the door. For everything else I use drawers and baskets. In the far right corner you see my mail basket. In the drawers in the console I keep daily necessary items, the second console is also a make shift desk. The drawer holds stationary items, the basket contains more stationary and I'm going to get a file folder to place beside it that will match the over all decor.

My coffee table has baskets in it, I use these for blankets while watching tv, without causing clutter. I will also use them to clear my coffee table in the event of a last minute guest.

If you look closely in my photos you will also see some moving boxes. I plan to put white bookshelves on either side of my tv. The chairs will go in front of them to hide personal items I will store in baskets on the bottom shelves, on the middle shelves I will put things I may want, such as books and DVDs, and more decor on the top shelves. I would like to paint the back of them the color of the walls, and add a connecting shelf between the two to create the look of built ins. These will make them appear more flush to the walls, less invasive into my small living room.

Lots of lights are also important I have five us far, all easy to turn on using high efficiency bulbs. Even if you have a ceiling fixture, it is important to have lights at all different levels for all different uses. People will be in every inch of your living room if there is a chair available or something to look at. So think about where people sit and what you want to show off, place lighting especially near these places.

The most important thing to remember is that your home represents you when you have guests. Make sure you keep it in a manner in which you would be proud to show. Use color that you love, but I would suggest looking into color meanings, and look at photos to see what you like. Also decorate with items that mean something to you. It could be an item you hold special to your heart, or just something you thought looked nice. Seeing things that make you happy will make you more comfortable where you live, and will make your living arrangements a home!

Good luck!

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The Final Chapter

What to do when you find out that a final friend from a former life has been significantly hurt by you.

I have decided to ignore it. There is nothing I can do to change her mind. I still think great things about her and wish all three of those ladies the best of luck in the future.

I realize that I have caused many changes is several peoples lives. After a huge fight with one friend, she moved back home. I ruined a friendship with a best friend of many years, and two more wonderful friendships.

But there is nothing that can be done, once a person makes up their mind that you are a bad person and not worth there time, there is nothing that can be done to salvage the friendship. It would be like chasing after an old boyfriend. If it is meant to be, we will be friends again in the future. But it is pointless to chase them trying to change their mind.

This is an important mentality during a fight or falling out with a friend or significant other. Continuing to push is like scratching a sore. Unfortunately, you have to let things heal in order to mend anything salvageable.

Also look at what they have to say, because there is some truth behind it, always. While what they say is said with passion- it is still their feelings. Use what they have to say to change and better yourself.

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I am a homeowner!

I bought my home yesterday! My mom and I have already rolled the entire living room, I'm getting a couch and a new closet on Tuesday, my dining room table and coffee table I ordered online and should arrive soon, and so I plan to be living there end of next week, slowly moving over the rest of my stuff.
Life is also starting to get back to normal which is wonderful! One of my bible studies starts back next week (I better get going on my homework!), and I have dinner plans with some girlfriends... And I finally paid for a match.com month, and I've been emailing a guy and we have plans coming up. We'll see how this goes.
But life has returned to normal! After everything that has been going on, my life is finally starting to settle down. And I will share my adventure in my new life!
If your life has been like mine over the past few months, here is what to do:

- Compartmentalize and separate. Create a folder for the big things (buying a house) and only deal with that when you literally sit down with it. Don't worry about it at work.

- Mark big dates on the calendar. Of course mark the date you must turn in such and such information, but keep the date in mind that the big thing is over (closing date). It may inch forward for awhile, but it will speed up.

- Once that day comes, relax! Because you have earned the result! And you probably have a lot of work to do now with the result.

I have really enjoyed my time of house hunting, and am very happy with the result. I can't wait to share the finished project. But here are a few teasers from before I bought it!







This photo was taken during the inspection, so just look past the sweet inspectors gear.




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Staying busy

Hello loyal readers! Happy New Year!

I hope everyone had a great holiday season, I know I'm excited its over and we can get back to normal. I have missed normal life so much. Friends, bible studies, the steadiness of a regular schedule. I have been so busy, I haven't been myself for months.

I have bought my house and I close on Friday or Monday. This is the last big thing I have been dealing with and I'm excited to become myself again.

It is good to know who you are and who you want to be. This is what will make you most happy.

It is good to have all kinds of friends, but I have mentioned several times my falling out among my closest friends. The problem was that I was discovering who I was and I was no longer happy. Since I wasn't happy in my friendships, my friends weren't happy and so the friendships fell apart.

It also helps at home. I am vffv v c v. (courtesy of my dog, Zoe). I am a young, single, preppy lady. Socializing is important and fun for me, and I will incorporate it into my homes decor.

Overall, I have a lot coming up and I cant wait to share it.

I will share with you soon!


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Location:Raleigh, NC