Does anyone else ever feel like they just don't belong? My family can trace it's routes back to North Carolina to the 18th century and have lived in Raleigh, North Carolina for nearly 20 years. I was brought up in a sheltered neighborhood next a mile north of the prestigious innerbeltline by very liberal "tree-hugging" parents. We have been well off since I was aware of cost of living, but never poor before that, and still not rolling in money. But my mom has always lived by the idea, if it isn't broken, don't replace it.But they were always accepting of anything and everything I wanted to do. I had no critical eye on my every move, but my mom always wanted to know where I was out of my personal safety. My mom got excited about everything from making me a black trench coat and dying my hair blue in 9th grade, to my recent Lilly purchase during the Endless Summer Sale.
But I feel like I don't belong anywhere. Does anyone else feel this way? I have recently fallen into a group of conservative people who are very welcoming and kind, but who also grew up in a world in which I am unfamiliar. They were brought up to be socialites, in private schools, always with a smile on their face and the right thing coming out of their mouth. While a lot of people from this area of town are stuck up, I actually met this group through Church so they are not stuck up. But just like with any group of people, they grew up together, or in similar environments, and so I feel like a bit of an outsider. Does anyone else feel like an outsider where you are? What have you done to change that?
I think what draws me to them is how happy they always are, because I have always suffered from anxiety and depression. And how close they are, since I have never had many good friends. As well as how polite and proper they are. They say please and thank you, don't yell across a store, and look the other way at a misbehaving child.
Here's what I have done: (but first, let me tell you that everything I have done, I have wanted
to do. I haven't thought "what would so and so like," but rather "what do I like." I will admit that so and so's personality has rubbed off on me, though)
- I am now a blonde, and love my hair.
- I am reading as many books as I can about etiquette and preppiness.
- I buy conservative clothes, and when I can I only shop at boutiques.
- I primarily hang out at North Hills, Cameron Village and Five Points.
- I have always wanted to be a homemaker, my mother is a feminist, but she still was a homemaker.
- I still have liberal political viewpoints.
- I still do not look down on anyone else for any reason, such as skin color, sexual preference or gender, nor because of profession or behavior.
I know that these are teeny tiny, and I'm very sorry. I had to get the pictures from my order history screen and this is the size of them.
But I do not own a shift! Which, in this area, is the daily wear, what you would wear to run errands. I love this one! I can't wait to get it. It has lace around the bottom hem and is so cute!
I also bought a really cute tunic that can be worn once it starts to get chillier and when it begins to warm up again! Also has some lace trim!
Believe it or not this is actually a skort. I haven't worn one in years, so we will see how it works. But it would be great for days when I am a little bit more active so that I don't show anything inappropriate! The one thing I always hated about skorts was that you could tell what it was from the back, I hope this one doesn't! But they have a great return policy, even on these major sale items!
Just like everywhere in the South, it is expected to get married in your 20s. So a lot of people I know are getting married! I haven't been to any nice weddings yet since I never had any good friends, but I thought this would be a very nice dress for more formal occasions such as an afternoon wedding!
I love long sleeve shirts, since they are so versatile! And this one is amazing. It has small ruffles all the way around the neckline and on down. And these small ruffles won't overpower me and my small frame!
Right now I have some bright silver bags in my purse to keep everything together, and I decided they had to go. What better way to replace them than with Pink and Green Lilly bags?
This is my other Lilly bag. I use it for smaller things, like my lotion and such.
And of course my free McKim sandals!
Yes, I've felt this way. I grew up moving from place to place, never really being into what my peers were into. But it's okay, eventually you will learn to fit in or find your own way. I found my own way. It's a hard road, the road seldom taken.
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