Friendships and Social Networking

Social Networking terminology, and thus the culture, has become a part of our daily lives. We are able to keep up with the daily ins and outs of the lives of our closest friends, our social circles, our acquaintances, and even those random people we aren't really sure how we met. We are able to reconnect, or remain connected, with friends from 10, 20, 30 or more years ago. We can connect with our grandmothers cousin's niece, some random person with our same name, or someone on the other side of the country with whom we have a similar interest. With this new technology there have come new etiquette, and new things to consider in how to use it. In this blog post I am going to go over some things to keep in mind as you navigate this world of Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, some pros and cons, and how this has, or has not, affected our daily relationships.

This commercial exemplifies one of the biggest problems in social networking, defining oneself on their social network account, and spending their entire lives on it. Unfortunately this is becoming more and more common (or has already reached a level beyond comfort). When on a social networking site, there are a whole different set of social skills necessary, that can not be translated very well into the daily grind of the outside world. And unless one is a social savant, spending this much time in social networking sites can greatly hinder face-to-face social interactions.

What can happen if you define yourself by your [insert social networking site here] profile and how to avoid the social blunders of doing so:

• You may begin talking to yourself: when you are sitting alone at a computer, tablet or on your phone, it is very easy to have a verbal conversation with the profile at which you are looking. No one else is around (or maybe just your 3 cats), and so no one will notice your comments that you make out loud about X's weight gain or Y's ugly new hairstyle. But imagine for a second you are grocery shopping, and this personal conversation has become second nature to you. Do you want to be the crazy person who talks to herself while comparing breakfast cereals?But, more seriously, you may begin uttering things out loud that should remain in your head. We all have different styles and ideas on what looks good, and sometimes we should share them (like when your best friend is trying on the cutest dress in the store, that is 75% off, but is two sizes too small). But in other situations it is better to keep you lips shut (such as at a large social gathering where you are seeing acquaintances for the first time in awhile, and someone got a haircut that isn't quite even). In the privacy of your home it is ok to make an ugly face or a comment, but not when there are other people around, and especially not within earshot of the unfortunate.
• We are loosing our conversations. We all have busy lives, and it is no longer possible to see all of your friends on a weekly, or bimonthly, basis. Usually we have to schedule a walk or a meal between life, and it is nice to be able to use that time to the fullest. One of the best parts of good news is sharing it, telling your friend that you are engaged, pregnant, buying a home, or just have a date. The excitement on their face and the questions and suggestions they have for you lead to exciting conversations that fill up the time and make the time worth repeating. But, unfortunately, this information can often get on the Internet long before you have time to have that special lunch. By this point your friend may have already heard about your bun in the oven, has congratulated you via the social networking site, and the excitement has worn off a bit.
  
  This happened to a friend of mind recently. While my friend was on a weekend trip with her long-time boyfriend, he proposed and of course she accepted. They had just moved in together, had been moving in that direction, but it was still a complete surprise. Being the sweet and social lady that she is, she called her friends that afternoon, rather than sending out a mass text or announcing it via Facebook. She is also incredibly laid back and doesn't take offense easily, but I can only imagine that she was a little hurt when she began receiving congratulatory texts from those she had intended on calling. People had begun posting the news on her Facebook wall, others were reading, and were sending impersonal, but well intentioned, text messages.
• Once something is said, it cannot be unsaid but it can be forgiven. We all have bad days, and on those days it's often best to avoid strained relationships or other situations where we may say something we don't really mean. But it happens, and when it is a seldom act it can often be forgiven. Unfortunately, with social networking, it's much more difficult to forgive and forget. Those drunken tweets that are forgotten about until someone calls you and asks you about it, or the message to a friend to address A, but you casually mention B and it is miswordedd can remain online and in peoples inboxes as reminders for a long time. While it is possible to delete comments, tweets and status updates, they are available for the world to see in the mean time, and for the world to remember.
• Is big brother watching you? While, hopefully, the government doesn't have a reason to watch your online activity, there are other people, closer to home, that have an interest. Once something is on the Internet, it is up and open for everyone to see. And despite privacy settings, things can still be found. With the growing popularity of social networking sites, people of all ages are joining. While it is always a good idea to think about what you are doing before you do it (what would my grandmother say if she were to see me at this bar right now?), the possibility if her seeing your less than stellar behavior is more possible thanks to Facebooks popularity. And even more importantly, there is an increasing number of corporations who will search social networking sites for potential employees, and schools are beginning to do the same. While what you do in your free time should be your own free time, it is becoming the business of everyone from your Great Aunt Ruth to the hiring manager of your dream job. So before you go out for your monthly (or weekly or nightly), evening out with friends, make sure you have explained limitations of picture uploads and comments to your friends (does everyone really need to know you wiped out on the sidewalk on a particularly good (or bad) night?). And maybe even consider stowing your smartphone somewhere that is difficult to get to, so that you aren't tempted to sloppily update about the beer goggled 10 you just spotted, or what you want to do to the person who "looked at you wrong."
• The hurt it can bring. There is often an urge to share every moment of your life on these sites. Your weekend plans to the beach, or the photos from the amazing hike you just took. While it may be unintentional, it can be bragging to others about your great life. But there are other ways it can hurt the feelings of your friends. While everyone has their own lives, and it is unreasonable to expect to be able to tag along to every social gathering or trip, it still may hurt when you read about a great trip one of your close friends has planned and your biggest adventure coming up is discovering how big the dust bunnies are under your bed. It could hurt even worse if you had a big celebration planned (such as a baby shower or your wedding), and you discover that a friend is unable to make it because they are going camping. Bearing in mind that these other plans could involve unknown acquaintances that do not allow an invitation for you, or a yearly family camping trip, it isn't always the best feeling in the world knowing that you are being left out or are second choice.
• The ending of a friendship. Social networking has gotten out of control, and periodically people will realize that they may have talked to the majority of their "friends" once. People will periodically do a sweep of their friends and delete many with whom they no longer have any contact. The next time you log in you may notice your friend number has gone down, and you may spend hours scouring your friends list trying to figure out who was rude enough to unfriend you (and you probably will never find out, driving you crazy). But the act of unfriending can have more serious implications. It's never easy to end a friendship, but at times they fizzle. Sometimes there is just a slow progression of fewer lunch dates and calls, but other times there can be a sudden event that leads to The End. And just like the end of a good book, you are aware the end is growing close, but once you turn that final page, there is a sense of sadness that the book is over. The finality of discovering that your once best friend has unfriended you is much the same way. Know that the friendship is over, and that you only have 3 pages left in a book is disheartening, but once you read that final page, the finality can be a little overwhelming.

Keeping in touch with friends, reconnecting with friends, and making connections through friends can always be a positive thing that social networks have allowed. But making your life so public can have its implications. Friends can feel left out because their presence wasn't desired. Your nightlife behavior can be discovered by your family, or your boss, and this can lead to gossip and judgements. Conversations may stalemate because everything has already been shared online. Next time you log into your own social networking website, think about these implications and decide if the membership is worth the price, or if you may just want to tweak your profile a bit to allow for a greater social life beyond the computer screen.

Step 1: Keep a Food Diary

For about a week now I have been tracking my food intake. My own reasoning is part of the Sugar Addict's Recovery Program. It is step two of seven of the program to change your diet and body chemistry to help you no longer crave sugar.

For the past two nights I have had abdominal cramping and nausea, what happens to me after I have consumed too much sugar. But I can't help but eat it because I'm addicted to it. But seeing myself write it will hopefully help, I'm having to own up to my bad habit.

Baby Steps to a Healthy Diet

Eating healthy is very difficult, especially in a time and money constrained world. Fresh out on our own we are trying to prove ourselves to our colleagues, keep a social life, network, stay in shape, and stay in budget. Millions of people have done it before us, so it shouldn't be so hard, right? Well, everyone is different, we all have different strengths and weaknesses and that is what makes the world wonderful, but our own lives stressful. When deciding to start something new, it is important to take baby steps so you won't be overwhelmed. In this blog I will go over some tips to hopefully get you started on eating right.Disclaimer: I am not a healthcare professional and not liable for your health (but I am doing research and following my suggestions myself, I won't intentionally steer you wrong). Seek the guidance of a healthcare professional when changing diets or starting a new fitness program.

#1: Make a food journal

There are multiple ways you can do this. You can get a small, pocket-sized notebook and write down everything you eat (write down the date and time as well) or write it on napkins and scrap pieces of paper (unless you are prone to loosing those) or use a smartphone app. The purpose of this exercise is to see what you eat everyday. You may be unaware how much junk food you eat, or how healthy you eat. At this point I just want you to write down you daily meals and snacks, go over them at the end of the day and begin thinking about them. Jot down notes when you think of them about how you feel about your meal. Are you proud of yourself for what you ate that day? Do you think you made some wrong decisions?

#2: Drink plenty of water

The rule of thumb is to drink 8 glasses of water a day. Dehydration is very serious and can occur very quickly. By the time you are thirsty, you are already dehydrated! Early symptoms of dehydration include tiredness, low energy and headaches. Do you feel this way through out the day. Try just carrying around a water bottle and drinking out of it regularly! This may solve your problem! On top of that, water helps with digestion and helps your immune system. Drinking this much water is very easily doable for several reasons:

• A single glass of water is only 8 ounces. That is about the size at least 3 medium drinks at a fast food place.
• This includes all liquids consumed: juice, fruits, soups... But keep in mind that caffeine and alcohol are dehydrating. So sodas and martinis don't count.
• It is now the in thing to carry around a reusable water bottle. No more going to the drink machine and shelling out more money every month, flattening your last dollar bill on the corner of the machine, or begging people for change.
• It is also possible to flavor water without spending much financially or space wise. Just stick a box of the flavor pixie sticks at your desk and dump a new one in each time you fill up. However, these are full of sugar also. I would suggest, instead, adding a bit of fruit juice to your water as a healthier alternative.

So I want you to go out and make a small investment in your health and buy a reusable water bottle, and maybe even a refrigerated filtration pitcher while your at it! The water bottles are usually just around $10, and they are reusable! Water is cheap, this one little change will do you a great deal of good with little cost. Maybe even just reuse the last bottle you will ever get out of a soda machine. But there are a few things to keep in mind:

• Wash the bottle daily!
• If you purchase a bottle, purchase one with a kind of a spout that you put your mouth around (I have one like a coffee mug and it spills everywhere! But if you have a trick then buy one like that).
• Do your research. There are certain chemicals in plastic that are being discovered to be harmful when used in water bottles. I would suggest reading several, recent articles on the subject, or going to a camping/sporting goods store. You would not believe how much those guys know.

This is all I will leave you with for now. Be sure to watch what you eat and drink you water. Write down how many times you drink your whole bottle a day. There is such thing as water poisoning, but that involves so much water it is very uncommon. And hold yourself accountable! Look at your food journal, and even show it to others. You may be able to hide your junk food habits behind closed doors, but once it's written down for even just your eyes, your secrets out!

Crohn's Disease and Diet

Sitting here, in the hospital, without much to do, I have begun my research on my projects. I have begun with what I think is the most important: diet. What you eat is everything! It controls how your feel physically and emotionally, and whether or not you are able to complete simple or complex tasks. Think about how you feel at the end of the day when you realize you had nothing to eat, or nothing but junk food out of the snack machine, or if you ate healthy, balanced and regular meals. What you eat makes a huge difference in your day.

I began my research with what is suggested for a normal person. The government just came out with a new method for figuring out what to eat each day called MyPlate. They have simplified the classic pyramid to hopefully help people figure out what the are supposed to each at each meal. But this isn't the answer for everyone. I did research on this and found a great article that goes over MyPlate and gives it's own suggestions for making it even healthier. For instance, they suggest putting dairy foods in with protein, rather than making them separate. I will write a comprehensive blog with this information and other information, but in the mean time, here is a link to the article.

Along with discovering what is important for everyone to eat, I did a lot of research on what is important for those with Crohn's Disease to eat. As I have mentioned I have Crohn's Disease, and am currently in the hospital recovering from some sort of infection caused by my second bowel resection about a month ago. A bowel resection involves removing a portion of the diseased intestine in order for the patient to hopefully go into remission for a number of years. It worked really well the first time, and aside from this infection, I have done very well this time.

But because of diseased intestine, which doesn't absorb nutrients as it should, and bowel resections, Crohn's patients often have issues with absorption of nutrients and it is often necessary to take supplements. Along with this, many Crohn's patients are sensitive to some foods, varying case by case, which can prevent a patient from getting the necessary nutrition. There are a wide variety of methods for getting extra nutrition into a Crohn's patient, from OTC vitamins to IV nutrition.

I have enjoyed doing my research and doing everything I can to have a healthy future, and helping everyone have a healthier and happier future.

Starting Over

One of the best things about life is that everyday you wake you, you can start over. You can decide to be a different person, a better person. Now I can't say you can change everything about your life (your job, your living circumstances, your credit), just by waking up and wishing for it, but by having this attitude, that you are ready to change you can make a drastic difference.

I have written about my health several times. Just to refresh, I have Crohn's disease. It is a very serious and very unpredictable digestive disease. I was very sick in middle school, and went into remission after a bowel resection. That surgery was 11 years ago. Over the past 5 years I have slowly becoming ill again, and my Crohn's became fully active about a year ago.

About a month ago I woke up in severe pain, and went to the ER. From the first moment I stepped in doctors were mentioning another surgery. I was caught by surprise because my own doctor was hopeful that we could get me into remission without surgery, and I wasn't nearly as sick as I was in middle school. A few days later I had my second bowel resection.

I was granted the chance to start over. Over the past year I have lost 20 pounds, lost a significant amount of energy, missed out on social events, and hadn't been able to properly organize my new home. I already knew that my Crohn's was active, but it was a relief to realize the reason for my recent extreme lethargy.

I was granted a chance to start over, and I am going to take full responsibility for myself and use my fresh start to the fullest. The Lord has granted me this start over at the best time possible. I am ready to start my career and my life, and with my new health I can put everything into this.

Soon after being released from the hospital I discovered some websites that would help with just this. They are all free, and are all designed to make over different parts of your life. I am very excited to follow the free programs, and set up routines that will give me a clean and orderly home when I wake up, peace and serenity, lots of energy, and be a better person to those around me.

The first is called FlyLady. FlyLady is a sweet woman with lots of advice, suggestions and encouragement for those who are interested in becoming her Flybabies, She, and several others, hand out daily advice and encouragement on cleaning and organizing your home, and on improving your life. There are a series of baby steps that I have just begun that help you to set up routines to keep your house clean. Most of them involve a daily wipe down or few minute clean. It is amazing how much can be cleared in just 2 minutes, and how great ones sink can look if you wipe it out once a day. A new, small task is added on each day, and individualization is encouraged. Once the baby steps are completed there are daily missions to be done around the house as your time allows, and a new task is added on monthly that just takes a few minutes. This program is very well organized, and did I mention free! I have really enjoyed every part of it so far.

Another program is similar to FlyLady, but a little bit looser. This one I have barely started, and look forward to starting it fuller soon. It is called HabitHacker. This one is comprised of three ninety day plans, Create, Nest and SOS. I'm going to do Nest first. This involves cleaning and decluttering your home. Each day you receive an email about the next days project. For instance, spend 5 minutes cleaning one area off, and keep it clean. The Create program helps you discover your inner artist and the SOS program is for your personal health.

Currently I am reading a book and the accompanying blog, the Happiness Project. A women, who was completely content with her life, decided she wanted to be more than content. She did a vast amount of research on areas where she felt she could improve, created resolutions, and followed them. In January she decided to "boost energy," and in February she decided to "remember love." I have just begun reading about March in which she decided to "aim higher." While reading this book I have gone ahead and written down various areas in which I plan to improve my life. I am very encouraged by what she has discovered in herself, and how much it has helped others around her. Ones attitude is truly contagious.

My final plan is to completely revamp my health. I have always been very small, and viewed exercise as a method to loose weight, and then maintain it. Over the past year I have changed this view, but was too weak to act on it. I viewed dieting the same way and would eat junk food as much as I could. I plan on beginning a loose workout plan, simply running and walking regularly, and more importantly I am going to work with a nutritionist about eating healthy for me.

The most invasive part of my plan for health comes from a 7 step plan to break a real addiction that I, and many others, have. It is a sugar addiction. Dr. Kathleen Desmaisons is a therapist who specialized in alcoholism, is a recovering sugar addict, and is currently researching sugar addiction. She noticed that a lot of recovering alcoholics exhibited the same symptoms she did in relation to sugar, and that many alcoholics turned to sugar. Her own experience has shown that she feels physically and mentally better when she doesn't eat sugar, something I have noticed as well. And she has discovered that there is more to both addictions than just saying no. Her book "The Sugar Addicts Total Recovery Program" outlines these sevens steps, and how to customize them for yourself. The steps are primarily about changing your diet to satisfy the chemical imbalance that causes both sugar addiction and alcoholism. There is also a website, called Radiant Recovery, that accompanies this book that outlines the seven steps, has a support community and online classes to help you with each step and beyond. I am very excited about this program and knowing that this will give me many more healthy years.

These are my self improvement plans. Everyone has areas in which they can improve themselves, and these programs will by no means make me perfect. But I would encourage everyone to wake up every morning and tell themselves "this is a fresh start," and to do what you can to enjoy your day to the greatest extent possible.

Jesus has become too generic

Imagine a recent historical figure who fought the standards of today's society. A person whom many followed, but also whom many hated, and who willingly died for the cause. (a good example is MLK)
But of course this person was a mere human, with limitations just like the rest of us. Now this person claimed to be the son of God, birthed by a miracle, with the power to heal, expel demons, and forgive sin. What would be your reaction?
We have been created numb to the idea that Jesus appeared to be a mere human, which was the importance of the Lords purpose in sending Him. He sent a His only son, in a humans body, to suffer alongside us, to be disbelieved by us, and to be shunned by us, in order to save us.
Imagine your reaction to the claims that He made, and remember the truth that we all believe as naturally as 2 plus 2.


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Forgiveness

What we do today and what we did yesterday is done. There is nothing we can do about it, it is done, forget about it.




Day in and day out we make mistakes. We put our faith in success, meaning something different for everyone else. Some want to get that great promotion (then the next promotion, and the next one), or have the husband, house and car, and children, or the look of being 5, 10, and 20 years younger than we are.

Putting your heart and soul into something tangible, or an ideal, can only disappoint you. Nothing is perfect, and so it will only break you even more. And when these things disappoint us, we blame them.

There is only one perfect thing in this world, that is the Lord, our savior, Jesus Christ. I'm currently reading a book called The Reason for God by the amazing Timothy Keller.

We live in a broken world. Nothing in our current world is perfect, including us. We sin, everyday, when we put our hearts and souls into something else, or in other words we idolize something else. This is the core of all sin, idolizing.

But we have already been forgiven. Why do we have to be forgiven? Sinning is like turning our back and walking away from God, and this hurts Him very much. And unfortunately every time someone or something is hurt, someone must pay for it.

One example would be your friend, whom you allow to borrow your car, and who then backs it into your fence. Someone must pay for this damage. The same go for times when a friend, coworker or stranger hurts your feelings.

In the instance of feelings hurt, or disappointment in an ideal, you have two options: forgive and forget, or think about it all the time and seek revenge. Seeking revenge will simply stress you and hurt the other person. Think about how you feel when you think about what hurt you? Is this a feeling that you want to feel all the time? Will your energy and time be well used against this silly thing that hurt you? What kind of mood will you be in, and how will those around feel about spending time with you? Does this sound like an ideal situation?

Being hurt is never an ideal situation. It causes pain and anguish, but forgiving can help this feeling. Revenge is a natural feeling, and forgiving will cause you more pain, but think of all that you have done in revenge. The next day, hour or minute have you still felt as though this was the best decision? But rather, forgiving allows you to move on, learn from your situation, and loving what has remained in your life.

I once held grudges over anything. People would do something silly, and I wouldn't talk to them, I would spend all of my energy avoiding them and giving them attitudes. But I as unhappy, lonely, and had no friends. I have since realized a lot about life. That was all wasted energy. Friends, coworkers and strangers have hurt me, but I just moved on. They made their decision, it may have been a bad day, or I may have truly wronged them.

But what is done is done. Putting energy into trying to fix the problem will only make you unhappy. Through the Holy Spirit a full man was born of a virgin, who was also fully human. He came to be a teacher and a leader. He partied with the wrong crowd, and befriended everyone who would accept him. Then He was falsely accused of sinning, and was put to an agonizing death. Through Him we are forgiven of our sins. God no longer stresses about all the sinning we have done against Him, because He has forgiven s. He is now simply working towards saving us and restoring the world to the way it was meant to be, with no suffering, pain, fear or sin. So follow His lead, and accept Him into your life, because He will hold your hand through this difficult journey of forgiveness.

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