On My Own

Framed Bulletin board

2011-11-01T16:57:00.000-07:00

Over the years I have almost always had a bulletin board in my room and I always used them a lot. But when I moved into my condo, they didn't make it into the condo. I either tossed them or they are at my parents house. Well I had seen all these cute bulletin boards with old picture frames. So I did the same.

First, I went to Goodwill and found a great picture frame with a not so pretty photo. It was a modern photo from the 90s of a bird or something. But the frame was so nice I just had to buy it. I think it was $15.

I took out the photo (not fun, it was stapled in), took it outside and sprayed the base coat on it. I had originally purchased for my tray. Then I painted it with the oil paint I also used for my tray. When I was painted the first coat I realized how cute it was with just a single, thin coat. It's kind of shabby chic. The original color was a dark silver, so it really looks great. Here are some photos of the finished product!

Current events

2011-10-31T22:16:00.001-07:00

This is my opinion on recent events. I do want to say that I don't think ill of anyone involved and I don't mean offense. But everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and here's mine!

I don't know if this is a photo pre-announcement or not, but I know I've seen a photo of her obviously pregnant recently before she announced her pregnancy today. Either way Jessica Simpson is preggers! She is the last person I ever thought would become pregnant out-of-wedlock. I remember in hs (I think?) when she married Nick, I read that she was a virgin. I'm not overly surprised she had sex before another marriage, but I am kinda surprised she got pregnant. Either way, she is beautiful and seems so sweet. I think she will be a wonderful mother and I am so excited for her!

Celebrities are the kings and queens of quickie weddings, one can only assume for the attention. I've seen the show a few times and I get the impression that the three girls are the only ones with good heads on their shoulders. But everyone has their quirks.
Either way, the beautiful Kim Kardashian has filed for a divorce today. Also today, her wedding special aired. I believe the special just began airing, it was filmed only 72 days ago. She sold the rights to her marriage photos for $79 million dollars. That adds to over $10,000 a day! On top of this, her husband was supposedly unaware of her intentions of divorce. So happy I'm not a celebrity!

First of all, I think it's very brave that they are standing up for what they believe in so strongly. To continue camping for so long, through this weather, it's truly amazing to me. And I love the way they have set up green energy when their gas generators were taken away, that have a library and a convenience store.
But I will admit that I don't completely agree with what they are doing. Now I will admit that all I know is what I have read in the first paragraph of a Wikipedia article, so please forgive me for my ignorance. But representatives have admitted that they don't have any real goals aside from recognition. They aren't asking for government assistance, tax changes, nothing. But I don't really know exactly what they can ask for. It's not really fair to ask those who worked hard (or who's grandparents worked hard) for a large amount of money. I like to believe hard work pays, but I know that unfortunately this doesn't always happen.

I come from a family of white-collar workers who went to college, but none of them ever did overly well. I don't believe any of my family has ever been impoverished, but definitely have never been living in the lap of luxury. I am currently unemployed and my parents are supporting me. They pay my bills and give me money for crafts to give me something to do, but I'm not making as much as I would if I were teaching. But I don't blame it on anyway, it's just the way the cards were dealt. I have no experience teaching elementary except for being a TA for a year. I have all the qualifications on paper, but there is always someone with better qualifications for the position. Since my parents are able to support me rather than getting money through the government, I'd rather it be me than someone with children to support and no financial support.
But I don't think they are going to get anywhere by sitting around with signs. They need to by out their hunting for jobs and going back to school like everyone else, becoming more qualified for jobs. They need to create a plan that the government can implement that will benefit the poor and the rich. They need to calmly speak to the 1% and the government, sharing their side, listening to the others side, and coming up with a solution together.
I agree that the money should be more evenly distributed based on work. Unfortunately it will never happen that way. Even in a communist civilization, someone must be in charge, and that power will often go to their heads, making society uneven again. Life will never be perfect, but with help from the government we may be able to persuade the wealthiest to donate money and the unemployed to do odd jobs, working on roads and construction, that may not be necessary but would benefit the public.

These are all just my opinions. I don't think any of the people I mentioned are bad people, but I believe I have every right to disagree.

DIY tray

2011-10-31T15:58:00.000-07:00

I have been looking at home design photos online, and in all the elegant ones I saw a beautiful tray on nearly every table. Of course I have expensive and picky taste, and couldn't reasonably afford the one's I liked. So I purchased a tray and the paint to do it myself. It's not nearly perfect, but I love it and I'm proud of it.I started by purchasing an orange $20 tray for Tuesday Morning. It was really cute, but I didn't like the color. I decided to paintover it, but when I was buying the paint I found an unpainted one at A. C. Moore for $15 that had curves and was more elegant.

This photo is of my original orange tray. Wouldn't it be perfect if it was pink? But I love the one I ended up with!

This is a photo of the tray I ended up with. This is a photo on my back porch spray painting a base on it.

Now I'm doing the first layer of white paint. I spread it really thin, and put a lot of payers on and it did really well.

You can see slightly darker white in the middle, this is my stencil. I got some cardstock, traced the curved end, measured a certain length at each end and then traced the curve where I marked.

Bit of advice: Make a plan on placement ahead of time. For instance, do you want it up on the sides, do you want them symmetrical? If you want a line in the middle of the tray, do this line first. My mistake was to start from one side and go to the other. One line ended up going up the edge. I ended up using oil paint (great paint for coverage) to start with a clean white slate again.

Also: Don't use pen or pencil to draw boundaries, the paint doesn't cover it very easily. Next time I will make multiple stencils, place them where I want it to be white, and keep them there until I am done with the pink.

At this point I am painting along the lines. I found it easiest to use foam brushes and slowly paint a solid line along the line using the side of the brush. Also, the oil paint did a great job over covering mistakes, so I did all the pink and then touched up the lines using the white.

Finally almost done. As you can see the pink is drying, almost ready for another coat.

At this point I just got frustrated with it and stopped taking photos. I just wanted to be done. After this I did touch ups and painted gold along the edges. To do this I used a little foam brush and did a kinda sloppy job. Then I used the larger foam brush's side to make a solid line between the white and gold.

When it was dry I sprayed a top coat glaze on it to give it a sheen.

The next photo is the finished product. Keep in mind this took about a week of constant work. It isn't nearly perfect, but I'm proud of it.

Yay! So pretty! I think the pink lines are a little crooked, but they all are so it doesn't look very bad, I don't think. Also, I accidently painted some white on one of the finished lines. In order to fix it I would have had to remix the pink and waste a lot of it. I decided to just keep something on top of it instead.

This is what it looks like now. I have my twig pumpkins I bought from Target for $1 and $2.50 each. I also have my mom's book "Small and Container Gardening." To the left of the tray is a photo book of Audrey Hepburn, and a small book call "How to Live Like a Lady."

I hope you enjoyed this. This who project probably came to around $30 at the most. Some of the paint I already had, and all of the supplies I ended up with extra. I would say that it was worth it. One day I may try it again, once I have more experience.

I also really love book on my coffee table. This week I have three books coming in the mail: "Essentially Lilly," "The Official Preppy Handbook," and a decor book with bright colors. I can't wait to add them to my coffee table.

No Shave November

2011-10-26T06:42:00.001-07:00

One of the rivalries between men and women involves the ease of a certain type of grooming: controlling ones body hair. I may be slightly biased, but I think that men have it significantly easier. Men have a smaller area to shave, and can even be very attractive skipping a day. Women have the contours of their legs to get around (although I couldn't imagine the contours of the jaw and lips), and the sensitive skin of the underarms. And if we forget to shave a day and decide to wear a skirt and sleeveless top, or worse, go to the pool without trimming our nether regions, we are thought of as disgusting. Even a long time boyfriend, who is comfortable with us without make up on, when we have the flu, won't touch our unshaven legs.

Well next month begins "No Shave November." Men have the opportunity to show off their ability to grow hair, something they make out to be very difficult. Women have the opportunity to scare every man off with a forest on each legs. I have read tweets from both sides in reference to this event, and am unable to choose a side.

Women, of course are pro "No Shave November." We already have enough to deal with. Dressing nice for each other (would a guy really notice us wearing the latest style?), styling our hair as though we just rolled out of bed sexy for the gentlemen, and doing our makeup as though we don't have any on. It's a lot of work to be naturally beautiful. Plus the discomfort of heels, belts, chunky jewelry and headbands worn for 12+ hours straight. Must we really also shave our legs everyday?

Men are anti "No Shave November." Unless men are having a contest (which usually means some sort of activity, not just watching hairs grow), or it is related to a sporting event, generally men don't follow shaving events. If a man ants to shave, he's going to do it! If he doesn't want to, he won't! If he's told he can't for the month of November, we will have to put up with a whining, itchy boy who's facial hair has never been this itchy and must be shaved immediately. They are more concerned about how this may affect their love life. One man went so far as to say that a certain women's planned celebration of this holiday is why she is single. If a lady is single, there is no reason to. If she is a true lady, even on a first date (or first several), she has no reason to. She may decide to shave as a confidence boost, but no one will be touching her legs. And when someone does, it will be a planned event with hours of grooming and preparation.

So what are you going to do? Are you for or against this razor free month? I'm personally going to be a female taking male advice (hopefully I don't get lost) and do what I usually do. If I want to shave, I will shave. If I don't want to, I won't. Have a great hairy (or hairless) November!

A Classy Wardrobe Without the Classy Price

2011-10-25T13:50:00.001-07:00

The first thing many ladies say they would buy when they win the lottery is clothes. A full wardrobe. While its I advisable to base yourself on your appearance, it can boost confidence. Also, you can only make a first impression once. Which would make a better first impression of being a classy lady: worn, dirty sweatshirt and jeans or a clean, tailored dress? But which would cost more?

Depending on how you shop, you could easily get a nice tailored dress or less than a good sweatshirt. I have purchased a DVF silk wrap dress for about $30. And despite the fact that it is adult size, the fact that it's wrap makes it look tailored just for me on my petite frame. I purchased this several years ago from Plato's Closet, a consignment shop chain. But with the scare of bedbugs over the past few years, the idea of purchasing second hand may scare you. If you decide to go for it, here are some tips:

Before you even begin your search, do some research. There are websites where people can report bed bug sightings. Once you arrive ask an employee what actions they take against the pest. No one wants to be known as having bed bugs, and so it would be in their best interest to fight them.

Before you expose your belongings to something second hand, inspect it. Look in every seam. Bed bugs are similar to ticks, they are flat and can squeeze into any crevice.

Before you purchase the item do a closer inspection. If you find any evidence of a bed bug (little black spots (feces), eggs, or a bed bug), I would advice to carefully and discretely give the item to an employee, explain the situation, once again discretely. Before you enter your car make sure you don't have any bed bugs on you. I would suggest postponing any plans. Go home, change, and put all your clothes in the dryer. Heat kills bedbugs and their eggs. This is something done in NYC apartments. Rather than using expensive and dangerous chemicals, the thermostat is cranked up for a few days and this kills everything. Also once you get home I would suggest finding a website to report the bed bugs. Reporting it to a local news agency will also get the word out.

Once you find your perfect clothes and make your purchase, tie the bag tightly so nothing can escape. But the bugs won't suffocate, they can become dormant for up to a year and a half (I think, that seems excessive but I really think its true), without food or air. As soon as you get home carefully put your new purchases in the washing machine (or dryer if it's dry clean only), use hot water, and dry it with hot air. Consignment shops also don't clean the clothes before putting them on the rack so I would suggest washing the items anyway.

Anything can be purchased second hand if you are careful. Even if an item has no fabric, check every crevice. Also smell the item very carefully, who knows how the item was cared for before,

If purchasing second hand scare you, I don't blame you. Clearance racks at high end stores are great places to find items. Getting on email lists will tell you when things go on sale. If you know your size at a particular store, and/or the items are returnable, feel free to order online. This will give you a larger and more organized selection. This is how I would suggest purchasing your staple items.

I'd also suggest checking stores such as Target or Forever 21. Items purchased at these stores may not last very long (although I've had some items from both stores that have lasted a long time), but these stores are great for items that will out of style within a few seasons. Accessories can also be purchased at these stores. But once again, they will easily fall apart quickly. They also often look cheap, so either be picky or only wear them when those around you won't look very close.

Sample sale sites are another great resource for great items at a low price. Ruelala and GiltGroup are two of my favorites. Both sites will give me a credit with your first purchase. It will give you an option to insert a reference's email. Please enter ryann.warlick@gmail.com.

I hope this information helps you. Enjoy shopping and looking classier without spending as much!

Decorating to Make a Home

2011-10-23T08:59:00.001-07:00

The first time we leave home, whether you are 18 or 40, it is often a difficult transition. Not only are we forced to take care of everything on our own for the first time, but we are struck with the way our new residence doesn't feel like home. Whether we move a fraction of a mile away or across the country, you live alone or with three other people, it can be lonely in the beginning. One big thing that will help is to make you new residence feel like home by adding your own personal touch. Unfortunately, this can be expensive. Here are some tips on make a house a home without breaking the bank.

First, make a plan. When I had my first apartment I had a new style idea every week. Of course I couldn't buy new decor every week, so when I decided to buy a home I had the chance to start over. I went the notebook route. I put a blank sheet of paper in a notebook for a every room. As each page filled up I taped a new piece of paper to the previous. I got most of my photos from Rate My Space. This is a site by HGTV in which real people post photos of their living spaces. Most are finished, some are blank slates asking for advice. It has been up for years and there are new posts everyday. There has to be something you like on there. I printed off photos from here, cut them up and tape them into my notebook. I then drew an arrow to the part I liked and jotted a note.

Other options include iPad apps and saving images. There is a great app called Moodboard that I have really enjoyed using. You can add photos, symbols and text, and a color palette. It is a lot of fun to play around with. To create my fall decor I actually printed out a board and took it to Joanne's. It is also possible to save photos to your computers photo app. This can get overwhelming though. As I have shared, I have really enjoyed Pinterest. I pin photos to various boards for each room I have. I also have a board called "craft don't spend." It's often cheaper to buy a few items and spend a few hours on making decor rather than shopping around all kinds of designer shops, spending a lot, and probably not get exactly what you want.

Websites are also great for novice designers. My mother is constantly telling me I should look into interior design. I am not a designer, I simply recognize what I like and copy it. Everything in my home was inspired by some part of a photo. I add things slowly because of budget, but it has proven to be beneficial because I can look around and see what needs to be added without being cluttered. I work on one thing at a time. Currently I'm working on a tray for my coffee table with a display of candles and bowls.

Overall, three things need to be done when you make a house a home:

Plan ahead by looking at photos. Make sure you have the perfect idea planned out before you start anything.

Add things slowly and look at the big picture. Make sure everything goes together and it doesn't look cluttered.

Work on one project at a time. Don't have five incomplete design projects sitting around.

Upcoming Projects!

2011-10-22T09:24:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been doing a bit of close out and second hand shopping. One of my favorite stores is Tuesday Morning. It is similar to TJ Maxx in that it's close out items, and a consignment shop in that it's a whole bunch of random stuff. At Tuesday Morning I purchased a wooden tray, and a large candle holder. Then today I went to Goodwill and found an amazing serving bowl, and a tin tray. Then when I was in line to pay I found the picture frames and picked up a fantastic frame with a large chip in the paint and a not so pretty picture in it. All of the following photos were found on Pinterest, then I followed them to their respective blog. Here's what I plan on doing coming up:

First are my little projects that will probably only take about a day. They mostly involve painting and other little upgrades.

This is something I may do to the tin tray, as shown by the Consignment Designer. It has etching in the center. I'm thinking of either hot glueing beads like these to it, or painting it gold. I'm leaning towards painting it gold, and getting a mirrored piece of glass (or making one with the Kylon mirrored product), and glueing beads on it. Does anyone know where to get fun cut glass or mirror?

Next up is the tray. This photo comes from Canadian House and Home. I haven't decided how I will decorate it, but I'm leaning towards chevron. I don't know if I will paint or use fabric, or maybe ribbon. I was originally thinking of using scrapbook paper and am so grateful I found this photo. Painting may be easier. What do you think, white and pink stripes?

In this photo Centsational has glued a glass plate to a wine and margarita glass. I already have the two pieces together, all I have to do is paint. Maybe a light pink? I am going to place it on the tray so maybe gold. What do you think?

This is what I plan to do with the picture frame I purchased. Here, Love Feast Table has painted a frame and is putting in a cork board. I plant on also putting fabric over the cork board or painting it.

This is a photo of one of my bigger projects. I'm going to begin my kitchen redo soon. The DIY Showoff has done a great job here of painting her cabinets. I'm painting my cabinets white. I'm also going to get some cute knobs and paint them white with little blue flowers. I'm very excited about the finished product!

I'm also going to paint the walls white. I may add these stencils just like in the photos. My kitchen is so small though, I'm not sure.

Keeping a Clean Home

2011-10-21T09:02:00.000-07:00

I know somedays I just don't want to clean. I'll rinse the dishes, but they may not make it into the dishwasher. The toilet is starting to get a little dirty but I just don't feel like scrubby the nastiness. I regularly have shoes strewn about and clothes laying on my bed. I have a blanket that clashes horribly against my light green couch that I rarely put away. And I won't even begin to talk about Zoe's toys and hair everywhere. But it is always on the worst days that someone is driving through the neighborhood and decides to stop by. I clean the next day and no one comes over for another few weeks or months.

When everything works itself up it is hard to look at one thing and just do it. You tend to see the whole picture get very overwhelmed. So you don't clean, let it get even messier and you get even more overwhelmed. I know this isn't everyone, and for those of you who maintain a clean home please leave advice. For the rest of you, here are things I have been told work and I hope to implement into my daily routine.

I have talked about FlyLady before, and I do again because it really is a great resource. It gives great advice on keep a clean home, decluttering your home, and living an overall relaxed life. She walks you through baby steps to set up a routine for your everyday. She advices against starting a routine you haven't eased your way into. But if done properly you will have a clean home ready for guests at anytime.

She will take you through steps to have a clean sink, bathroom, and living area. You will get into the habit of preparing for tomorrow, tonight, so you won't be stressed out before a big presentation. You will read testimonies from others just like you (or worse) who have tried and failed, only to succeed later on. People's lives have been changed by this, and even if your life isn't in shambles, your life can only benefit from these suggestions.

I'd love to hear what you think of this system. I've tried it several times and never get it going. But I'm going to try again! Wish me luck!

My kitchen

2011-10-19T14:04:00.000-07:00

My continuation of Pinterest. For this one I want your opinion! I'm redoing my kitchen based on this design:

I love these dishes and have already gotten 6 of them off of RueLaLa. I'm going to hang three of them on the wall. What's stopping me and giving me problems is the color. I have great granite countertops and I don't have enough money to replace them, and I don't want to paint them. I want to paint everything white, maybe a light blue, but in my mind the color clashes. Here are some photos that I think look good. What do you think? And one is a bathroom, just look at the colors.

This one is a great example of the white beside the granite countertops.

And this one has a great shade of blue in it beside the granite countertops.

If I do paint the walls white, I might do a stencil. I found a set of stencils that would match the plates.

I have one more set of photos that I'll post soon!

Elaine Turner

2011-10-18T08:47:00.000-07:00

I absolutely love Elaine Turner, and I love RueLaLa for hosting this great brand! RueLaLa has hosted other great brands such as Lilly Pulitzer, and Kate Spade. For those of us on a budget, it is difficult to get these wonderful designers. But when they are marked down I know I stock up! And on October 20 I know I will be checking out some cute fall flats by the one and only Elaine Turner. Join RueLaLa if you haven't already and join the party as well!

In case you can't read that it says: go to RueLaLa.com/friends and type in my email address (for each person I recruit who makes an initial purchase I get a $10 credit.) which is ryann.warlick@gmail.com. I hope everyone finds what they are looking for!

These are some amazing shoes that I got a year ago and I love them! (FYI, Elaine Turner shoes run a bit small. If you are between sizes think about going to the next size up. These were a bit tight and uncomfortable at first, but my feet molded to them. Most RueLala sales are returnable so if you aren't 100% on something, check the return policy and at the very least you can try them.)

My New Obsession

2011-10-17T13:41:00.000-07:00

In the past, when I saw a picture of an idea I liked I printed it out. Once I had it in my hands I was not going to loose it (but then I'd step on it or spill something on it and I'd toss it, never to find the picture again). Then recently I began saving them in my photo app, but I'd usually never go back and look at them again.

A few weeks ago I discovered Pinterest, a social networking website involving "pinning" photos for others to see and also "pin." Pinning them puts them into various folders you create, which you categorize into standard folders. Once a member, one can follow whomever one wants, look at thousands of folders, and get ideas on anything from outfits to home decor, new products to traveling.

Here are some pins I would like to share:

This is a great example of what it means to be on Pinterest. Pinterest has all kinds of photos on it, and it is impossible to get on without finding 50 things you want to do, and then even more impossible to ever get off again.

I had been looking for this hairstyle forever and was so excited when I found it. I have lived in North Carolina all my life and couldn't imagine calling anywhere else my home. Part of being a Southern Belle is always looking ones best, which includes ones hair. There are all kinds of hair and make up tutorials that link to various blogs all over Pinterest, it's impossible to not find the perfect look for you.

I love to travel and there are all kinds of amazing photos to give me ideas on my next destination. This is a photo of the tallest church in the world. It is in Ulm, Germany. I actually stayed in Ulm for 2 weeks when I was 15 and too young to fully appreciate the opportunity. This is the town where Albert Einstein was born, although you wouldn't know it because Germany disowned him when he allied with the Allies during WWII. I also had never seen meat sold the way it was here. In America we don't see what the animal actually looks like except for fish. In most other countries they sell parts of the animals whole in the city market.

This is an example of one of many great ideas I have found on the website. Being more of a killer than a grower of plants I can take all the advice I can get. I'll need to go out and buy some generic diapers and see if this works!

A photo of a craft project someone completed and posted. There are all kinds of holiday ideas and links to tutorials on creating holiday decor. It is so much cheaper to buy a few supplies and create it than to go to Pottery Barn or Pier One. And this way you can personalize it. I'm showing this one because I actually recreated it! I will post photos soon!

I think that's enough photos of now. I hope you enjoyed these pics! I'll post some pics of kitchen inspiration soon!

My Self Improvement (so far...)

2011-07-28T18:20:00.001-07:00

There are many areas that I want to improve. Someone famous once said something about always improving your life to be happy. And I can say that doing all of these things has truly made me happier!Cleaning: aside from a few days when I have not been feeling well (I am recovering from a total of 3 weeks in the hospital and 2 surgeries in the past month), I have cleaned everyday. My living room and kitchen are definitely showing great improvement, and FlyLady is to thank. I have been:

Shining my sink every night and wipe down the counters and the stove
Getting dressed everyday, and doing my make up
Doing a few missions, cleaning or decluttering for 15 minutes everyday (my bedroom is the worst and that's mostly teaching stuff that I can't do anything with, I just moved and tossed a bunch then), and do a hot spot daily
I pick out my clothes every night, check my calendar and make sure everything I need is out
The other day I dusted everything in my living room/entrance/dining room/home office (it's a small place by I bought it!), and the next day I swept the whole place!
When I shower every morning I wipe down a part of my shower to keep it clean

I am very proud of my home and am willing to have someone over at any time. Before I was always running around straightening when I had a friend coming over (even I could make 560 sq ft a disaster), but now it's just the bedroom and even that clutter is somewhat organized, just waiting for a classroom of my own.

Physical Fitness
I came out of the hospital stronger after the second visit, having been bored out of my mind and walking for 30 minutes just for something to do. I'm up to walking a half mile at least with my dog at least once a day, and multiple quarter mile walks daily. I even jogged about 20 feet the other day. I plan on taking her to the park soon.

Diet
I'm going fairly strong with the food journal (oops, slacked off today! Better not make it a habit) but haven't really noticed any correlations yet. I'll give it another few weeks before I move to the next step. I finally made my own real meal last night: chicken breasts with a paprika and garlic...dusting I guess, and frozen vegetables warmed up. I was disappointed, however, when the whole meal turned out to be less than 100 calories. I do have an appointment with a nutritionist next month. And I'm reading a lot about healthy diets and trying to find stuff on higher calorie healthy foods I like.

Friendships
I must admit, aside from making myself promises, I have done nothing here. I have told myself I would call a friend every day and make plans once a week, I have done none of this. I'm just so nervous because most of my friends are still new friends and it's that old sort of grade school feeling... What if they don't like what I said... What if I'm annoying them... Just silly nerves. But I must do it! Especially those who were sweet enough to visit me in the hospital, and Lacy who did twice. I really must do a better job of being a good friend.

Overall, I'd say I'm doing pretty good! I'm not perfect, but I don't want to be. I'm trying hard and I'm succeeding in some areas, and am going to work harder in others. And I will call Lacy tomorrow to set up something this weekend. Or Elise, whose who family came and whose father was sweet enough to buy a book and let me borrow it first. I have amazing friends, I really must do a better job of them!

Is anyone else doing anything for self improvement? How are you doing? What tips could help others?

Why do we need friends in the first place?

2011-07-26T11:38:00.001-07:00

One of the big issues that plague fresh college graduates, and 20somethings in general, is the starting of a new social circle. Before you went to school your parents arranged playdates, then you made friends in school and in after school programs and activities. These friendship circles grew as you continued into middle and high school. Then you went to college where everything was new. Sometimes a few (or a lot) of people from your high school went to college with you and you already had your social circle. But even if you went to an obscure college, it was still pretty easy to meet people. Living in dorms, walking to class, riding the bus, taking classes and other activities led to routines in which you would see people regularly and develop acquaintances and friendships based off of commonalities. Not to mention a quarter of those on campus were in the same boat you are.

But now, you are in the "real world." You are in a new city (or you're the only one left in your old town), and you have to start a new life. New routines, new job, new home, new bank, grocery store and commute. It can all be overwhelming. Plus having to set up a new social circle. Why not just throw one of these to-dos out. Obviously you need a place to stay, and a way to pay for it, and of course you need to eat. So often times the new social circle is what is put on the back burner. But this is never a good idea either. It may be overwhelming, but putting more of a priority on making friends can help you cope with everything else, and help you settle into your new life.

Think about what you did in high school when you got your first job. Did you go home and write about it in your journal, or sit alone with a grin of self satisfaction? Or did you call up your friends to make the announcement, set up a celebratory dinner, and share the joy you have?

What about when you had a hard first day at that new job? Did you go home and cry into your pillow? Or did your friend call to ask how it was, you shared and he or she came over and supported you, told you how great you are, how hard a new job is, and cheer you up?

Friends are necessary to bring out the best (and sometimes the worst) in us. They strengthen our good emotions and help us get through the rough patches. They give us something to look forward to. They give us a chance to let go, or they make us let go of the rough patches of our lives. We are able to relax, be ourselves, and not worry about being judged. They are great as a springboard for ideas on how to deal with the annoying coworker, whether your summer dress is work appropriate, to overanalyze a phone call from the cute guy at the coffee shop, or to talk us out of eating that third slice of cake and into taking a jog.

Unfortunately, and to be addressed later, making new friends when you have no base from which to start can be one of the toughest things you have to do. It can almost be too overwhelming to add this to your ever growing to do list called life, and you may just want to go ahead and set up a good relationship with a cat breeder.

But when you think about your life before now, what got you through the tough, and the great times? What was involved in your favorite times? What do you remember most happily? Most of these memories involved friends. Not only this, but scientific research has shown that this interaction is necessary. From a study in which babies that were fed, rocked, and burped by machines, developing babies who were not as well adjusted as those who were cared for by people. Here are some other benefits of having friends:

Scientists have discovered that those with a social circle are less likely to be afflicted with psychological issues (such as depression and anxiety) and have a boosted immune system.
Sharing your emotional experiences can provide meaning, insight and perspective. Sharing our fears makes them less frightening, sharing our triumphs makes them more exhilarating and sharing our grief helps relieve the burden.
Friends can help us create and find our identity. Good friends tell us what they appreciate about us, and even better friends share with us our weaknesses.

Currently I am reading The Friendship Fix, a book written by an older women (older than us and so more experienced) who provides excellent advice specifically for those in their 20s. The book covers a wide variety of topics, from making friends, to cutting off friendships. Much of the knowledge I will be sharing is from this book, and even more can be gained by actually reading the book. I would greatly encourage you to do just that if you have any questions on how to handle friendships in this new stage of your life,

Friendships and Social Networking

2011-07-23T15:42:00.001-07:00

Social Networking terminology, and thus the culture, has become a part of our daily lives. We are able to keep up with the daily ins and outs of the lives of our closest friends, our social circles, our acquaintances, and even those random people we aren't really sure how we met. We are able to reconnect, or remain connected, with friends from 10, 20, 30 or more years ago. We can connect with our grandmothers cousin's niece, some random person with our same name, or someone on the other side of the country with whom we have a similar interest. With this new technology there have come new etiquette, and new things to consider in how to use it. In this blog post I am going to go over some things to keep in mind as you navigate this world of Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, some pros and cons, and how this has, or has not, affected our daily relationships.

This commercial exemplifies one of the biggest problems in social networking, defining oneself on their social network account, and spending their entire lives on it. Unfortunately this is becoming more and more common (or has already reached a level beyond comfort). When on a social networking site, there are a whole different set of social skills necessary, that can not be translated very well into the daily grind of the outside world. And unless one is a social savant, spending this much time in social networking sites can greatly hinder face-to-face social interactions.

What can happen if you define yourself by your [insert social networking site here] profile and how to avoid the social blunders of doing so:

You may begin talking to yourself: when you are sitting alone at a computer, tablet or on your phone, it is very easy to have a verbal conversation with the profile at which you are looking. No one else is around (or maybe just your 3 cats), and so no one will notice your comments that you make out loud about X's weight gain or Y's ugly new hairstyle. But imagine for a second you are grocery shopping, and this personal conversation has become second nature to you. Do you want to be the crazy person who talks to herself while comparing breakfast cereals?But, more seriously, you may begin uttering things out loud that should remain in your head. We all have different styles and ideas on what looks good, and sometimes we should share them (like when your best friend is trying on the cutest dress in the store, that is 75% off, but is two sizes too small). But in other situations it is better to keep you lips shut (such as at a large social gathering where you are seeing acquaintances for the first time in awhile, and someone got a haircut that isn't quite even). In the privacy of your home it is ok to make an ugly face or a comment, but not when there are other people around, and especially not within earshot of the unfortunate.
We are loosing our conversations. We all have busy lives, and it is no longer possible to see all of your friends on a weekly, or bimonthly, basis. Usually we have to schedule a walk or a meal between life, and it is nice to be able to use that time to the fullest. One of the best parts of good news is sharing it, telling your friend that you are engaged, pregnant, buying a home, or just have a date. The excitement on their face and the questions and suggestions they have for you lead to exciting conversations that fill up the time and make the time worth repeating. But, unfortunately, this information can often get on the Internet long before you have time to have that special lunch. By this point your friend may have already heard about your bun in the oven, has congratulated you via the social networking site, and the excitement has worn off a bit.
This happened to a friend of mind recently. While my friend was on a weekend trip with her long-time boyfriend, he proposed and of course she accepted. They had just moved in together, had been moving in that direction, but it was still a complete surprise. Being the sweet and social lady that she is, she called her friends that afternoon, rather than sending out a mass text or announcing it via Facebook. She is also incredibly laid back and doesn't take offense easily, but I can only imagine that she was a little hurt when she began receiving congratulatory texts from those she had intended on calling. People had begun posting the news on her Facebook wall, others were reading, and were sending impersonal, but well intentioned, text messages.
Once something is said, it cannot be unsaid but it can be forgiven. We all have bad days, and on those days it's often best to avoid strained relationships or other situations where we may say something we don't really mean. But it happens, and when it is a seldom act it can often be forgiven. Unfortunately, with social networking, it's much more difficult to forgive and forget. Those drunken tweets that are forgotten about until someone calls you and asks you about it, or the message to a friend to address A, but you casually mention B and it is miswordedd can remain online and in peoples inboxes as reminders for a long time. While it is possible to delete comments, tweets and status updates, they are available for the world to see in the mean time, and for the world to remember.
Is big brother watching you? While, hopefully, the government doesn't have a reason to watch your online activity, there are other people, closer to home, that have an interest. Once something is on the Internet, it is up and open for everyone to see. And despite privacy settings, things can still be found. With the growing popularity of social networking sites, people of all ages are joining. While it is always a good idea to think about what you are doing before you do it (what would my grandmother say if she were to see me at this bar right now?), the possibility if her seeing your less than stellar behavior is more possible thanks to Facebooks popularity. And even more importantly, there is an increasing number of corporations who will search social networking sites for potential employees, and schools are beginning to do the same. While what you do in your free time should be your own free time, it is becoming the business of everyone from your Great Aunt Ruth to the hiring manager of your dream job. So before you go out for your monthly (or weekly or nightly), evening out with friends, make sure you have explained limitations of picture uploads and comments to your friends (does everyone really need to know you wiped out on the sidewalk on a particularly good (or bad) night?). And maybe even consider stowing your smartphone somewhere that is difficult to get to, so that you aren't tempted to sloppily update about the beer goggled 10 you just spotted, or what you want to do to the person who "looked at you wrong."
The hurt it can bring. There is often an urge to share every moment of your life on these sites. Your weekend plans to the beach, or the photos from the amazing hike you just took. While it may be unintentional, it can be bragging to others about your great life. But there are other ways it can hurt the feelings of your friends. While everyone has their own lives, and it is unreasonable to expect to be able to tag along to every social gathering or trip, it still may hurt when you read about a great trip one of your close friends has planned and your biggest adventure coming up is discovering how big the dust bunnies are under your bed. It could hurt even worse if you had a big celebration planned (such as a baby shower or your wedding), and you discover that a friend is unable to make it because they are going camping. Bearing in mind that these other plans could involve unknown acquaintances that do not allow an invitation for you, or a yearly family camping trip, it isn't always the best feeling in the world knowing that you are being left out or are second choice.
The ending of a friendship. Social networking has gotten out of control, and periodically people will realize that they may have talked to the majority of their "friends" once. People will periodically do a sweep of their friends and delete many with whom they no longer have any contact. The next time you log in you may notice your friend number has gone down, and you may spend hours scouring your friends list trying to figure out who was rude enough to unfriend you (and you probably will never find out, driving you crazy). But the act of unfriending can have more serious implications. It's never easy to end a friendship, but at times they fizzle. Sometimes there is just a slow progression of fewer lunch dates and calls, but other times there can be a sudden event that leads to The End. And just like the end of a good book, you are aware the end is growing close, but once you turn that final page, there is a sense of sadness that the book is over. The finality of discovering that your once best friend has unfriended you is much the same way. Know that the friendship is over, and that you only have 3 pages left in a book is disheartening, but once you read that final page, the finality can be a little overwhelming.

Keeping in touch with friends, reconnecting with friends, and making connections through friends can always be a positive thing that social networks have allowed. But making your life so public can have its implications. Friends can feel left out because their presence wasn't desired. Your nightlife behavior can be discovered by your family, or your boss, and this can lead to gossip and judgements. Conversations may stalemate because everything has already been shared online. Next time you log into your own social networking website, think about these implications and decide if the membership is worth the price, or if you may just want to tweak your profile a bit to allow for a greater social life beyond the computer screen.

Step 1: Keep a Food Diary

2011-07-22T18:21:00.001-07:00

For about a week now I have been tracking my food intake. My own reasoning is part of the Sugar Addict's Recovery Program. It is step two of seven of the program to change your diet and body chemistry to help you no longer crave sugar.

For the past two nights I have had abdominal cramping and nausea, what happens to me after I have consumed too much sugar. But I can't help but eat it because I'm addicted to it. But seeing myself write it will hopefully help, I'm having to own up to my bad habit.

Baby Steps to a Healthy Diet

2011-07-21T20:45:00.001-07:00

Eating healthy is very difficult, especially in a time and money constrained world. Fresh out on our own we are trying to prove ourselves to our colleagues, keep a social life, network, stay in shape, and stay in budget. Millions of people have done it before us, so it shouldn't be so hard, right? Well, everyone is different, we all have different strengths and weaknesses and that is what makes the world wonderful, but our own lives stressful. When deciding to start something new, it is important to take baby steps so you won't be overwhelmed. In this blog I will go over some tips to hopefully get you started on eating right.Disclaimer: I am not a healthcare professional and not liable for your health (but I am doing research and following my suggestions myself, I won't intentionally steer you wrong). Seek the guidance of a healthcare professional when changing diets or starting a new fitness program.

#1: Make a food journal

There are multiple ways you can do this. You can get a small, pocket-sized notebook and write down everything you eat (write down the date and time as well) or write it on napkins and scrap pieces of paper (unless you are prone to loosing those) or use a smartphone app. The purpose of this exercise is to see what you eat everyday. You may be unaware how much junk food you eat, or how healthy you eat. At this point I just want you to write down you daily meals and snacks, go over them at the end of the day and begin thinking about them. Jot down notes when you think of them about how you feel about your meal. Are you proud of yourself for what you ate that day? Do you think you made some wrong decisions?

#2: Drink plenty of water

The rule of thumb is to drink 8 glasses of water a day. Dehydration is very serious and can occur very quickly. By the time you are thirsty, you are already dehydrated! Early symptoms of dehydration include tiredness, low energy and headaches. Do you feel this way through out the day. Try just carrying around a water bottle and drinking out of it regularly! This may solve your problem! On top of that, water helps with digestion and helps your immune system. Drinking this much water is very easily doable for several reasons:

A single glass of water is only 8 ounces. That is about the size at least 3 medium drinks at a fast food place.
This includes all liquids consumed: juice, fruits, soups... But keep in mind that caffeine and alcohol are dehydrating. So sodas and martinis don't count.
It is now the in thing to carry around a reusable water bottle. No more going to the drink machine and shelling out more money every month, flattening your last dollar bill on the corner of the machine, or begging people for change.
It is also possible to flavor water without spending much financially or space wise. Just stick a box of the flavor pixie sticks at your desk and dump a new one in each time you fill up. However, these are full of sugar also. I would suggest, instead, adding a bit of fruit juice to your water as a healthier alternative.

So I want you to go out and make a small investment in your health and buy a reusable water bottle, and maybe even a refrigerated filtration pitcher while your at it! The water bottles are usually just around $10, and they are reusable! Water is cheap, this one little change will do you a great deal of good with little cost. Maybe even just reuse the last bottle you will ever get out of a soda machine. But there are a few things to keep in mind:

Wash the bottle daily!
If you purchase a bottle, purchase one with a kind of a spout that you put your mouth around (I have one like a coffee mug and it spills everywhere! But if you have a trick then buy one like that).
Do your research. There are certain chemicals in plastic that are being discovered to be harmful when used in water bottles. I would suggest reading several, recent articles on the subject, or going to a camping/sporting goods store. You would not believe how much those guys know.

This is all I will leave you with for now. Be sure to watch what you eat and drink you water. Write down how many times you drink your whole bottle a day. There is such thing as water poisoning, but that involves so much water it is very uncommon. And hold yourself accountable! Look at your food journal, and even show it to others. You may be able to hide your junk food habits behind closed doors, but once it's written down for even just your eyes, your secrets out!

Crohn's Disease and Diet

2011-07-21T10:59:00.001-07:00

Sitting here, in the hospital, without much to do, I have begun my research on my projects. I have begun with what I think is the most important: diet. What you eat is everything! It controls how your feel physically and emotionally, and whether or not you are able to complete simple or complex tasks. Think about how you feel at the end of the day when you realize you had nothing to eat, or nothing but junk food out of the snack machine, or if you ate healthy, balanced and regular meals. What you eat makes a huge difference in your day.

I began my research with what is suggested for a normal person. The government just came out with a new method for figuring out what to eat each day called MyPlate. They have simplified the classic pyramid to hopefully help people figure out what the are supposed to each at each meal. But this isn't the answer for everyone. I did research on this and found a great article that goes over MyPlate and gives it's own suggestions for making it even healthier. For instance, they suggest putting dairy foods in with protein, rather than making them separate. I will write a comprehensive blog with this information and other information, but in the mean time, here is a link to the article.

Along with discovering what is important for everyone to eat, I did a lot of research on what is important for those with Crohn's Disease to eat. As I have mentioned I have Crohn's Disease, and am currently in the hospital recovering from some sort of infection caused by my second bowel resection about a month ago. A bowel resection involves removing a portion of the diseased intestine in order for the patient to hopefully go into remission for a number of years. It worked really well the first time, and aside from this infection, I have done very well this time.

But because of diseased intestine, which doesn't absorb nutrients as it should, and bowel resections, Crohn's patients often have issues with absorption of nutrients and it is often necessary to take supplements. Along with this, many Crohn's patients are sensitive to some foods, varying case by case, which can prevent a patient from getting the necessary nutrition. There are a wide variety of methods for getting extra nutrition into a Crohn's patient, from OTC vitamins to IV nutrition.

I have enjoyed doing my research and doing everything I can to have a healthy future, and helping everyone have a healthier and happier future.

Starting Over

2011-07-19T16:32:00.001-07:00

One of the best things about life is that everyday you wake you, you can start over. You can decide to be a different person, a better person. Now I can't say you can change everything about your life (your job, your living circumstances, your credit), just by waking up and wishing for it, but by having this attitude, that you are ready to change you can make a drastic difference.

I have written about my health several times. Just to refresh, I have Crohn's disease. It is a very serious and very unpredictable digestive disease. I was very sick in middle school, and went into remission after a bowel resection. That surgery was 11 years ago. Over the past 5 years I have slowly becoming ill again, and my Crohn's became fully active about a year ago.

About a month ago I woke up in severe pain, and went to the ER. From the first moment I stepped in doctors were mentioning another surgery. I was caught by surprise because my own doctor was hopeful that we could get me into remission without surgery, and I wasn't nearly as sick as I was in middle school. A few days later I had my second bowel resection.

I was granted the chance to start over. Over the past year I have lost 20 pounds, lost a significant amount of energy, missed out on social events, and hadn't been able to properly organize my new home. I already knew that my Crohn's was active, but it was a relief to realize the reason for my recent extreme lethargy.

I was granted a chance to start over, and I am going to take full responsibility for myself and use my fresh start to the fullest. The Lord has granted me this start over at the best time possible. I am ready to start my career and my life, and with my new health I can put everything into this.

Soon after being released from the hospital I discovered some websites that would help with just this. They are all free, and are all designed to make over different parts of your life. I am very excited to follow the free programs, and set up routines that will give me a clean and orderly home when I wake up, peace and serenity, lots of energy, and be a better person to those around me.

The first is called FlyLady. FlyLady is a sweet woman with lots of advice, suggestions and encouragement for those who are interested in becoming her Flybabies, She, and several others, hand out daily advice and encouragement on cleaning and organizing your home, and on improving your life. There are a series of baby steps that I have just begun that help you to set up routines to keep your house clean. Most of them involve a daily wipe down or few minute clean. It is amazing how much can be cleared in just 2 minutes, and how great ones sink can look if you wipe it out once a day. A new, small task is added on each day, and individualization is encouraged. Once the baby steps are completed there are daily missions to be done around the house as your time allows, and a new task is added on monthly that just takes a few minutes. This program is very well organized, and did I mention free! I have really enjoyed every part of it so far.

Another program is similar to FlyLady, but a little bit looser. This one I have barely started, and look forward to starting it fuller soon. It is called HabitHacker. This one is comprised of three ninety day plans, Create, Nest and SOS. I'm going to do Nest first. This involves cleaning and decluttering your home. Each day you receive an email about the next days project. For instance, spend 5 minutes cleaning one area off, and keep it clean. The Create program helps you discover your inner artist and the SOS program is for your personal health.

Currently I am reading a book and the accompanying blog, the Happiness Project. A women, who was completely content with her life, decided she wanted to be more than content. She did a vast amount of research on areas where she felt she could improve, created resolutions, and followed them. In January she decided to "boost energy," and in February she decided to "remember love." I have just begun reading about March in which she decided to "aim higher." While reading this book I have gone ahead and written down various areas in which I plan to improve my life. I am very encouraged by what she has discovered in herself, and how much it has helped others around her. Ones attitude is truly contagious.

My final plan is to completely revamp my health. I have always been very small, and viewed exercise as a method to loose weight, and then maintain it. Over the past year I have changed this view, but was too weak to act on it. I viewed dieting the same way and would eat junk food as much as I could. I plan on beginning a loose workout plan, simply running and walking regularly, and more importantly I am going to work with a nutritionist about eating healthy for me.

The most invasive part of my plan for health comes from a 7 step plan to break a real addiction that I, and many others, have. It is a sugar addiction. Dr. Kathleen Desmaisons is a therapist who specialized in alcoholism, is a recovering sugar addict, and is currently researching sugar addiction. She noticed that a lot of recovering alcoholics exhibited the same symptoms she did in relation to sugar, and that many alcoholics turned to sugar. Her own experience has shown that she feels physically and mentally better when she doesn't eat sugar, something I have noticed as well. And she has discovered that there is more to both addictions than just saying no. Her book "The Sugar Addicts Total Recovery Program" outlines these sevens steps, and how to customize them for yourself. The steps are primarily about changing your diet to satisfy the chemical imbalance that causes both sugar addiction and alcoholism. There is also a website, called Radiant Recovery, that accompanies this book that outlines the seven steps, has a support community and online classes to help you with each step and beyond. I am very excited about this program and knowing that this will give me many more healthy years.

These are my self improvement plans. Everyone has areas in which they can improve themselves, and these programs will by no means make me perfect. But I would encourage everyone to wake up every morning and tell themselves "this is a fresh start," and to do what you can to enjoy your day to the greatest extent possible.

Jesus has become too generic

2011-02-27T06:33:00.001-08:00

Imagine a recent historical figure who fought the standards of today's society. A person whom many followed, but also whom many hated, and who willingly died for the cause. (a good example is MLK)
But of course this person was a mere human, with limitations just like the rest of us. Now this person claimed to be the son of God, birthed by a miracle, with the power to heal, expel demons, and forgive sin. What would be your reaction?
We have been created numb to the idea that Jesus appeared to be a mere human, which was the importance of the Lords purpose in sending Him. He sent a His only son, in a humans body, to suffer alongside us, to be disbelieved by us, and to be shunned by us, in order to save us.
Imagine your reaction to the claims that He made, and remember the truth that we all believe as naturally as 2 plus 2.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Forgiveness

2011-02-12T11:54:00.001-08:00

What we do today and what we did yesterday is done. There is nothing we can do about it, it is done, forget about it.

Day in and day out we make mistakes. We put our faith in success, meaning something different for everyone else. Some want to get that great promotion (then the next promotion, and the next one), or have the husband, house and car, and children, or the look of being 5, 10, and 20 years younger than we are.

Putting your heart and soul into something tangible, or an ideal, can only disappoint you. Nothing is perfect, and so it will only break you even more. And when these things disappoint us, we blame them.

There is only one perfect thing in this world, that is the Lord, our savior, Jesus Christ. I'm currently reading a book called The Reason for God by the amazing Timothy Keller.

We live in a broken world. Nothing in our current world is perfect, including us. We sin, everyday, when we put our hearts and souls into something else, or in other words we idolize something else. This is the core of all sin, idolizing.

But we have already been forgiven. Why do we have to be forgiven? Sinning is like turning our back and walking away from God, and this hurts Him very much. And unfortunately every time someone or something is hurt, someone must pay for it.

One example would be your friend, whom you allow to borrow your car, and who then backs it into your fence. Someone must pay for this damage. The same go for times when a friend, coworker or stranger hurts your feelings.

In the instance of feelings hurt, or disappointment in an ideal, you have two options: forgive and forget, or think about it all the time and seek revenge. Seeking revenge will simply stress you and hurt the other person. Think about how you feel when you think about what hurt you? Is this a feeling that you want to feel all the time? Will your energy and time be well used against this silly thing that hurt you? What kind of mood will you be in, and how will those around feel about spending time with you? Does this sound like an ideal situation?

Being hurt is never an ideal situation. It causes pain and anguish, but forgiving can help this feeling. Revenge is a natural feeling, and forgiving will cause you more pain, but think of all that you have done in revenge. The next day, hour or minute have you still felt as though this was the best decision? But rather, forgiving allows you to move on, learn from your situation, and loving what has remained in your life.

I once held grudges over anything. People would do something silly, and I wouldn't talk to them, I would spend all of my energy avoiding them and giving them attitudes. But I as unhappy, lonely, and had no friends. I have since realized a lot about life. That was all wasted energy. Friends, coworkers and strangers have hurt me, but I just moved on. They made their decision, it may have been a bad day, or I may have truly wronged them.

But what is done is done. Putting energy into trying to fix the problem will only make you unhappy. Through the Holy Spirit a full man was born of a virgin, who was also fully human. He came to be a teacher and a leader. He partied with the wrong crowd, and befriended everyone who would accept him. Then He was falsely accused of sinning, and was put to an agonizing death. Through Him we are forgiven of our sins. God no longer stresses about all the sinning we have done against Him, because He has forgiven s. He is now simply working towards saving us and restoring the world to the way it was meant to be, with no suffering, pain, fear or sin. So follow His lead, and accept Him into your life, because He will hold your hand through this difficult journey of forgiveness.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Making a Home

2011-01-24T13:55:00.001-08:00

This past weekend I had a wonderful time with 3 of my closest friends. We sat around with wine and caught up with each other. This is part of what makes a home, somewhere where you and your friends can relax and unwind.

When deciding how to make your house, condo or apartment a home, it's always best to start with a plan. In my former apartment, I chose a wall color and went from there. Every few months I changed my mind on the style. This time I spent nearly a year in advance deciding color schemes, layouts, and decorative details. Combine is somewhere where you can see it all at once. This could be on a bulletin board, or in a notebook. I taped sheets of printer paper together for each room and taped photos to these pages. Any little detail I saw that I liked I printed and circled. It has made decorating so much easier. I have been able to go out and buy exactly what I wanted with no regrets.

No matter your style, if you like to socialize at all, your living area should be set up in a way to condone this. This is why I have a big, comfortable sofa, and several comfortable chairs facing a center point.

To save money it is also important to use as much of your furniture as possible. If you look closely, the chairs covered in white "slipcovers" are my former dining room chairs
- To do this I bought a bag of non-fusible queen sized batting, and roughly cut sections to go over the chair. If you plan on using the chairs again later, but tight slip covers in a light color to put on under the batting to avoid damage to the chairs. I then put white slipcovers on top of the batting. I couldn't find what I wanted in time for my gathering, so I used my white drapes. I folded and hot glued them in the back and I plan on sewing and neatening up the bottom. If space is an issue for you, it is better to keep them short to show more space between the legs.

Bright colors also set a brighter mood. This is just the beginning of where every home differs, every person has a different opinion on color. I chose a preppy, bright and happy pink and green for my color scheme, with light yellow walls (that is the actual paint name). Everything around my apartment is bright pink and green, it looks bright and happy no matter my mood.

In my opinion, it is important not to leave your personal items laying around. Your home should look lived in, but guests should be able to sit down comfortably without worried they may see something too personal.

I keep magazines on my table for myself and guests. I also keep my coat, keys, purse and a place to put mail by the door. For everything else I use drawers and baskets. In the far right corner you see my mail basket. In the drawers in the console I keep daily necessary items, the second console is also a make shift desk. The drawer holds stationary items, the basket contains more stationary and I'm going to get a file folder to place beside it that will match the over all decor.

My coffee table has baskets in it, I use these for blankets while watching tv, without causing clutter. I will also use them to clear my coffee table in the event of a last minute guest.

If you look closely in my photos you will also see some moving boxes. I plan to put white bookshelves on either side of my tv. The chairs will go in front of them to hide personal items I will store in baskets on the bottom shelves, on the middle shelves I will put things I may want, such as books and DVDs, and more decor on the top shelves. I would like to paint the back of them the color of the walls, and add a connecting shelf between the two to create the look of built ins. These will make them appear more flush to the walls, less invasive into my small living room.

Lots of lights are also important I have five us far, all easy to turn on using high efficiency bulbs. Even if you have a ceiling fixture, it is important to have lights at all different levels for all different uses. People will be in every inch of your living room if there is a chair available or something to look at. So think about where people sit and what you want to show off, place lighting especially near these places.

The most important thing to remember is that your home represents you when you have guests. Make sure you keep it in a manner in which you would be proud to show. Use color that you love, but I would suggest looking into color meanings, and look at photos to see what you like. Also decorate with items that mean something to you. It could be an item you hold special to your heart, or just something you thought looked nice. Seeing things that make you happy will make you more comfortable where you live, and will make your living arrangements a home!

Good luck!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

The Final Chapter

2011-01-23T13:18:00.001-08:00

What to do when you find out that a final friend from a former life has been significantly hurt by you.

I have decided to ignore it. There is nothing I can do to change her mind. I still think great things about her and wish all three of those ladies the best of luck in the future.

I realize that I have caused many changes is several peoples lives. After a huge fight with one friend, she moved back home. I ruined a friendship with a best friend of many years, and two more wonderful friendships.

But there is nothing that can be done, once a person makes up their mind that you are a bad person and not worth there time, there is nothing that can be done to salvage the friendship. It would be like chasing after an old boyfriend. If it is meant to be, we will be friends again in the future. But it is pointless to chase them trying to change their mind.

This is an important mentality during a fight or falling out with a friend or significant other. Continuing to push is like scratching a sore. Unfortunately, you have to let things heal in order to mend anything salvageable.

Also look at what they have to say, because there is some truth behind it, always. While what they say is said with passion- it is still their feelings. Use what they have to say to change and better yourself.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

I am a homeowner!

2011-01-08T05:07:00.001-08:00

I bought my home yesterday! My mom and I have already rolled the entire living room, I'm getting a couch and a new closet on Tuesday, my dining room table and coffee table I ordered online and should arrive soon, and so I plan to be living there end of next week, slowly moving over the rest of my stuff.
Life is also starting to get back to normal which is wonderful! One of my bible studies starts back next week (I better get going on my homework!), and I have dinner plans with some girlfriends... And I finally paid for a match.com month, and I've been emailing a guy and we have plans coming up. We'll see how this goes.
But life has returned to normal! After everything that has been going on, my life is finally starting to settle down. And I will share my adventure in my new life!
If your life has been like mine over the past few months, here is what to do:

- Compartmentalize and separate. Create a folder for the big things (buying a house) and only deal with that when you literally sit down with it. Don't worry about it at work.

- Mark big dates on the calendar. Of course mark the date you must turn in such and such information, but keep the date in mind that the big thing is over (closing date). It may inch forward for awhile, but it will speed up.

- Once that day comes, relax! Because you have earned the result! And you probably have a lot of work to do now with the result.

I have really enjoyed my time of house hunting, and am very happy with the result. I can't wait to share the finished project. But here are a few teasers from before I bought it!

This photo was taken during the inspection, so just look past the sweet inspectors gear.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Staying busy

2011-01-01T12:42:00.001-08:00

Hello loyal readers! Happy New Year!

I hope everyone had a great holiday season, I know I'm excited its over and we can get back to normal. I have missed normal life so much. Friends, bible studies, the steadiness of a regular schedule. I have been so busy, I haven't been myself for months.

I have bought my house and I close on Friday or Monday. This is the last big thing I have been dealing with and I'm excited to become myself again.

It is good to know who you are and who you want to be. This is what will make you most happy.

It is good to have all kinds of friends, but I have mentioned several times my falling out among my closest friends. The problem was that I was discovering who I was and I was no longer happy. Since I wasn't happy in my friendships, my friends weren't happy and so the friendships fell apart.

It also helps at home. I am vffv v c v. (courtesy of my dog, Zoe). I am a young, single, preppy lady. Socializing is important and fun for me, and I will incorporate it into my homes decor.

Overall, I have a lot coming up and I cant wait to share it.

I will share with you soon!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Raleigh, NC

Staying healthy and happy!

2010-10-05T17:19:00.000-07:00

I have been so busy lately! I got my job that I have been working towards for months! I'm a TA, on my way to becoming a teacher! I've also started seriously searching for my house, and am still trying to maintain friendships. This week, especially, has been crazy! But I have felt great today! It is important to stay active in order to stay healthy and happy.

With our constantly busy lives, it is even more important to be healthy. We are just beginning our lives as adults! Our bodies are all we'll have for the rest of our lives! I'm going to do research and hopefully help everyone stay healthy and happy!

There are of course the obvious ones:

Don't smoke! Or quit soon!
Avoid the sun. See your dermatologist regularly to check your skin.
Exercise.
Eat healthy.

Eat healthy

This doesn't necessarily mean cutting our all red meats and all sweets. It means portion control. I once hear a theory in which everyone has a preset ideal weight. Your body calculates caloric and nutritional intake and this causes your appetite and cravings. According to this theory, only eating when you are hungry and eating what you crave is the bottom line in this theory.

But it is easier to eat healthy when you cook yourself rather than use the drive through or frozen food section. These preservatives are not healthy, instead, cook casseroles and keep healthier snacks around. Bring your lunch to work to save money as well. This can allow for customization as well!

Some great foods to keep around: nuts (make your own chex mix with m&ms!), apples and carrots last a long time, but be careful because bananas and strawberries spoil quickly. Granola in yogurt is great, as well as salads (raspberry vinaigrette and mixed greens are amazing!)

Exercise

Now is the best time to start an exercise program. Just like it is easier to teach a puppy new tricks, it is easier for our young bodies to get used to regular exercise. This can be as simple as giving a friend a call and going for a 20 minute walk around your neighborhood. Work your way up. Just walking will help tone your body, and it will give you energy!

Friendships:

Having good friends is important. Choose your friends wisely, this is a great time to do it as you figure out who you are and begin your life. Choose your friends based on your likes and dislikes, your pet peeves, and most importantly, if they are a good person. This simply means, it's not the best idea to befriend someone who is destructive to him or herself or to others, and who stands for the same things as you. Realize who you want to be and base your friends off of this.

But you also have to be a good friend. I have recently posted in regards to being a good friend. But to summarize, call regularly, complain when necessary, and talk things out. But always have a smile, a hug and an excitement whenever you see them.

My tunics!

2010-09-24T21:19:00.000-07:00

I have decided to begin selling tunics on Etsy. They are very in style, but the cute ones always seem to be really expensive. I'm going to work on starting my website this weekend, but here is a sneak peek! Let me know what you think!

Here is my first tunic: Go Catamounts! I will offer all kinds of school colors.

This is my second tunic. Getting ready for Fall! They are light, all 100% cotton (the solid brown is a mix though). Perfect to celebrate Fall during the warm weather at the end of Summer.

I'm working on this one tonight. Almost done! Just the sleeves and hem left! But it is so gorgeous! This photo taken with my Blackberry does not do this fabric justice!

Please let me know what you think! I'm really interested in starting this, so I would definitely like some feedback! Have a great weekend!

Cliques

2010-09-24T18:49:00.000-07:00

While our lives have changed drastically since high school as far as social circles, life will always be comprised of cliques. Even if a clique may be accepting and welcoming, a clique is often formed by close friends and so it takes a long time to "break in" and become one of them.

Right now I am facing being between cliques. I have changed and grown for the better for me, but I have grown away from friends. At the same time I have grown towards another group of friends. It kinda feels like I don't belong anywhere. This can happen at any time of your life. It can be caused by a job change, a location change, or just changes that can happen through different experiences. But just like any personal struggle it is important to sit down and look at it for what it is.

1. Why are you no longer hanging out with your old friends?

I have grown and changed a lot over the past few years. I was no longer comfortable with y friends that I had when I was in high school, college and after college. I was no longer happy, which doesn't make my former friends happy.

2. What are the changes that have occurred? Are they good or bad?

My changes have involved always being considerate, and becoming obsessed with being a proper lady. I have always lusted over the image of a women in always matching, classic, chic clothing. Always knowing what to say and when. I am working towards becoming like this, and I don't view this as a bad thing.

3. What are your new friends like?

My new friends are very accepting of everyone. They are Southern ladies and gentlemen, mostly Republicans, very preppy and they live to socialize. While not everyone described in this way is accepting, I have never felt left out by anything they did. And more importantly, I have seen them accept and befriend one of my former friends of California. A sweet sweet girl, but complete opposite of them.

While the list can go on and on in regards to how you have to analyze your new life, it is natural to go through changes. At this age we are on our own for the first time, truly figuring out who we are. It is difficult to figure this out, and it often involves many phases. So while you go through this time and feel constantly lost, sit down and ask about your current decisions, and make sure that if this were the permanent you, are you satisfied with yourself?

Social butterflies

2010-09-19T18:22:00.000-07:00

We may no longer use candy hearts to express our feelings (or maybe we do sometimes), but we still converse in all different ways. This is something that we, as 20somethings, often struggle with. After college, we enter an environment in which exclamations of "No way!" or "That's hot" are no longer accepted as appropriate forms of excitement. In order to be taken seriously we have to use bigger words and better grammar. We have to differentiate even more between professional speech and friendship slang.

But not only does our language have to change, we also have to strengthen our conversation skills. Even in a world in which we can immediately communicate with people on the opposite side of the world, we are still surrounded by each other and need to know how to talk to each other. It is the simplest way to get information across, simply stand in front of someone and talk. Despite our ability to be able to see everything, talk to everyone and have all of our needs met without leaving our house, we still have a need to be amongst other people.

Starting a conversation is easy. Ask about the current event you are attending (what did you think of so-and-so's book) or even a simple question about their well-being or how a personal worry turned out. Simply think about your relationship with this person and what you know about them, and ask to get more information.

Continuing a conversation is a little trickier. Asking questions about this person will allow the other person to talk about themselves, everyone's favorite subject. Every time you speak to someone they reveal something more about themselves. Try to remember these details and refer back to them in the same conversation, and again later. One way to remember such life events in a friends life is to write them down, such as keeping a prayer journal.

It is also important to be yourself. If you sit back, relax, and watch, those who are socially confident stumble over their words and ramble too, they just have confidence. No one is perfect, and the sooner your realize this the better. Ask your friends to list what is great about you, or list them yourself. This list will give you confidence and help you relax! This is the single most important thing in being socially successful.

Don't over think what you have to say. you may miss what the other person is saying. And you are more likely to ramble and stumble over your words when you are nervous. So just breath. Think about the people you will see, think about what you will say to begin a conversation, and most importantly think about how much information you will share about yourself. TMI really is the only conversation killer.

How to lose a friend in 10 days

2010-09-15T07:10:00.000-07:00

"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up."

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

This is one of my photos from the WCU at NCSU game, two of my friends from school and I. While we have all changed and grown in the two and a half years since graduation, we still have a great time together, catching up and reliving our college days.

Everyone reads those horror stories about facebook, pedophiles preying on young girls, "mean girls" spreading rumors about their classmates, and a girl getting hurt because their best friend of 5 years, their maid of honor, the girl they once told everything to who they have drifted from lately, unfriended them on facebook.

Obviously the latter is me. I had a complete breakdown Saturday night and was simply stunned until Tuesday. I couldn't believe I had been such a horrible friend. Over the past day (and really over the past year) I have been reflecting on what it means to be a good friend.

I was originally going to write about how to be a good friend. But instead I have decided to model this post after a favorite chick flick, "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days." I will discuss many of the things I have done in friendships past that may have lead to history of close, short friendships.

1. Never call your friends unless you want to hang out. I have always been afraid to call and vent, or to call and just talk. I never wanted to have a one-sided friendship towards me, because I have had them towards the other person. I also was afraid of interrupting someone who's busy, calling too often, or the awkward silence when there is nothing to say.

2. Never go out when they want to. If you have a headache, are sick, or just feel blue always stay home, don't ever suck it up. I have been completely guilty of this. In my defense I have had a history of health problems and have tried to hide things from friends to keep them from worrying. But when even when I spent all day pumped about going out that night, and exhausted myself being pumped, I have cancelled plans just out of sheer exhaustion.

3. Always forget about their big event, and never ask about it. I officially have the worst memory ever! I can't remember most of my own events, let alone my friends. But this is very important, it lets them know that you are thinking about them. I would suggest figuring out a way to write down something big that is going on with them. This would be even easier if you are a Christian. Keep a prayer journal. Whenever your friends tell you about something that is going on, write it down in your prayer journal. Skip a few lines then write the next prayer. When you find out the outcome, write this down in the skipped lines. It is a great way to renew your faith, or see the reason for what we didn't expect.

4. Always make new friends. It is important to make new friends, don't get me wrong. But realize how far you can stretch yourself. Some people are able to work, vonlunteer, relax, and be social every night. If this is not you, try not to have too many close friends. It is great to have a large network of close friends, it is even helpful. But, a close friend is someone you see more than once a month, and if you try to have 20 close friends, you won't be able to give your true friends the time they deserve.

5. Begin new activities, but never, ever invite your closest friends. Joining a running group or a Toastmasters chapter is a great way to network and get active. Trying something new is always helpful, even if it is traumatizing (at least you know you logging is not for you). But unless you know that your friend would not be interested in your new cycling class, they may feel a little left out if you rave about it, but not extend an invitation.

6. Always dress nicer than them. Sometimes people fall on hard times. If your friend has fallen on these hard times, or never got the step up into the easy life, it may not be the best idea to bring your brand new Kate Spade bag to lunch with her, and then wear your brand new Manolo Blahniks to drinks the next week. She may feel inadequate and may no longer wish to spend time with you.

7. Change every little thing about you as soon as you begin hanging out with new friends. It is natural to take on characteristics of friends as you change and grow. American's especially are very impressionable (advertisements are everywhere for a reason!). This may not be you, but I will say all day long that I am 100% guilty of this, not consciously, but as I develop new friendships, my everything changes. But remember, your new friend became friends with you for a reason. They like you the way you are. And think about your best friend of five years! If you change everything about yourself, this friendship that you stand on will crumble.

8. Complain! Make people think about how horrible you life is, maybe they will feel sorry for you and hang out with you daily! This doesn't work. While a cemetary might be a peaceful way to say hello to a loved one, it is not nearly as enjoyable, or at least tolerable, when a family and classmates are saying goodbye to their 14 year old son and friend in the next plot over. Friends are supposed to be there for you, so they should be ok with hearing you vent after your boss unreasonably said your presentation you slaved over for 10 minutes is not good enough, but you will both enjoy your time more if you talk more about the presentation you worked on for several days, that got your companies new big client.

9. Only and always talk about yourself. What is your favorite subject? Yourself of course. Everyone's favorite subject is themselves. So when you sit there and just talk about yourself, it doesn't give them any opportunity to say anything about themselves. I have heard the excuse that it is a simple conversation starter, or something must be explained to avoid the other person thinking the worst. If someone wants to know something about you, they will ask. Instead, ask them about something they just did, or ask advice about what you would like to do.

10. Always share you negative opinion on any possession of your friends, it's better they hear it from a friend! When a friend is trying to decide which item to go purchase, there you may share your experiences, but always share good and bad, even if your feelings sway in one extreme of the spectrum, because that one thing you hate about the item, may be what your friend wants. This goes the same with the "Does this make me look fat" question. If your friend asks this before you go out, suggest a different outfit that accentuates their eyes, and gives a little in the waist.

Everything you do exemplifies you in a certain way. It is human nature to judge, and while we may pride ourselves on not judging people based on skin color, gender or background, it is only natural to categorize things someone does and judge them on whether or not they are worth our time. If you were to act in a certain way, people may not want to spend time with you, even if you are the new Mother Theresa winning the Nobel Prize in Science. You may be a great person, but if you are not an enjoyable person, there's nothing that can be done about friendships.

Starting over

2010-09-12T11:25:00.000-07:00

If a rose bush is cared for, it can survive for many years, producing new flowers every year. But in the off season, even when taken care of, it is nothing but a green bush just like any other. And yet, come spring, it re-invents itself into the beautiful rose bush we look forward to every year. (forgive me if I got the timing or anything off about rose bushes, it was more about the metaphor)

But how often do we get to reinvent ourselves? Reblossom into a clean-slated beautiful rose? The answer: anytime we like! As a Christian, the Lord has forgiven my every sin, even those I will commit 60 years from now! We have no need to live in the past and regret what we have done wrong! Too bad it's not as easy with our former best friend who's ex-bf we slept with a week after the big breakup (oops).

But seriously, every morning look at your life. Are you excited to wake up, go to your job and see your friends? Or are you dreading work, the ever growing unread messages in our inbox and the coworkers who range from secretary dressed in an executive halloween costume, to the ones with no style and seem to be the bionic employee.

Then there are your friends. Are they the ones you can vent to, get appropriate compassion and cheer you up. Or do they complain about the fact that the boutique was out of stock in their size and then their hair stylist with the three month waiting list couldn't fit her in for a quick wash, color change, and complete restyle.

My suggestion: start over!!!!!

This is my story: I am a Pharmacy Technician (fairly legitimate job) with Target (and then it goes downhill). Most of my coworkers are great, very hardworking and we get our work done. However, most of them graduated from high school, and some are incredibly intelligent, but speak as though they barely graduated from high school. Bad grammar is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Others do nothing but complain about the 5th near accident they were in this week, or constantly bring up in disbelief that I don't watch the news every night and am constantly shopping.

We are all different, and I love everyone of my coworkers for the people they are. I don't think in anyway that I am better than any of them, but that doesn't mean that I have to want to spend time with them.

I also just recently became a Christian, and so many of my friends are not Christians. They are happy, great people, they don't do anything wrong, and I really enjoyed their company. However, I have changed. I enjoy different activities, rather than going on a drinking flirting binge a few times a week, I enjoy grabbing a single drink and having actual conversations. Rather than laying on the couch Sunday morning because of said "great night out," I'd rather go to church and worship with wonderful people.

This is all just a part of growing up. As we get older and experience new things, we change, and it is only natural to grow apart from friends who may not enjoy the same things as you. If you aren't satisfied with your life just the way it is, I challenge you to start over: Here's how:

Step 1: gather your thoughts in reference to why you are unhappy. Do you enjoy your job? Do you enjoy your activities and friends? Are you activities what you really want to do? Are there ever times that you do not feel like yourself?

I wrote about those things above.

Step 2: Make two columns. Summarize step one into different phrases in the left column. In the right column write what would make you happy. For instance:

I don't enjoy my friends New friends

I don't enjoy barhopping all night New friends with new activities

I don't enjoy my coworkers New job

Step 3: This step make take some time. But begin to think about what you can do to make the right column happen. Think about who you enjoy spending time with and what you enjoy doing. If you want to move, what characteristics of cities you have visited do you enjoy? Here's what I will do:

New friends with new activities: I have a great group of friends through church. I am not very close with them, but they are so sweet and I always have a great time spending time with them. They always view the world as glass half full and are filled with the Holy Spirit, so I can lean on them in every way I need. They enjoy grabbing a drink and oogling at boys, and while many of them have a little bit of a wild past, they aren't the type to abandon their friends to go talk to a new guy, nor surround their entire life around a guy.

New job: What do I enjoy doing? I love to teach and work with young children. One must be college educated and generally speak as though they have been. It is a real career that is going somewhere, one that people look up to.

I wish everyone luck, and I would love to hear about your new starts! It is tough, and I don't ever suggest cutting ties with old friends or old coworkers simply because of something like this. However, if you are happy, those around you probably aren't either.

High expectations

2010-09-09T09:10:00.000-07:00

This post was originally going to be title "Falling short," when I first thought about writing. But upon reflection over the past few days I have realized that I simply have expectations that are way too high. I do base these boundaries off of my peers, but I live in a very predominant area, barely touched by the recession. Let me show you what I mean:

What I see: The women: lots of Tory Burch and Lilly Pulitzer. Everyone owns a home at the beach, or at least knows someone who does. They grew up in this way and so don't know any different, which makes them not stuck up. I have spoken with a few about their income, all between 40 and 50K. These people are 25 and 26. They also went to UNC and NC State at the lowest, most of them went to private schools, even in grade school.

The men: Also went to private schools. Always have on polos or button up shirts and khakis. They have 9-5 positions that are going somewhere. And involve travel, just like the females.

These people often already own their own homes, or rent in the most exclusive places.

I'm sure that many of their parents help out in many ways. They also were brought up in a way that cultivates the ability to live in this way. According to the new book "True Prep," most preps, more or less, recycle their items. They don't purchase a new wardrobe or decor every season, instead they use the same items for years, if not decades. By this point a single dress, even at a few hundred dollars, is worth mere pennies per wear.

Myself: single, making around 20k in a career that is going nowhere and unable to find another position. I purchased new clothes last year, but they are out of season and I'm embarrassed to wear them. I am constantly replacing... everything. My philosophy is buy it cheap, when it breaks replace it. I have $3,000 of credit card debt.

Most people in their 20s: income: 30K

debt at 20: 20K; debt at 30: 110K

Number of jobs held (bachelors degree or more): from 23-27: 3.6 different jobs.

So I guess when you really look at things I am not that much different than most people. How do you feel about this and how do you really measure up?

Bettering myself

2010-09-01T16:28:00.000-07:00

Do you remember all those horrible long books our teachers made us read in grade school? We had to read 15 pages of a book that we'd rather watch to get on with our all important lives. Those silly books written by people who were already dead and didn't know what it was like to be our age in this time period. These weren't going to be used in the real world, so why were we made to read them?

Well I have decided to read them. And they are amazing! They relate to us in so many ways. I just read "Animal Farm" and couldn't put it down!

It's about deception and trickery. We may think that these animals are completely cut-throat, that we would never sink as low as these animals, but what is the difference between this and shaking our curves in the direction of the gentleman across the bar. The same gentleman with a band on his left ring finger, whose wife you know, and strongly dislike. Some ladies would seduce him to hurt this lady who you had a tiff with several years ago. While I'm sure this is something you wouldn't do, it does occur. These actions are no lower than a pig changing a farms commandments for his own benefit and convincing the other animals that they simply remember wrong.

I have now moved onto "Little Women" by Louisa May Alcott. It is a classic more appropriately read as a teenager. However, I never got beyond the first 100 pages, at least without forcing myself. This story has a sister for everyone. It also does a great job of attending to it's audience. In the first chapter the narrator takes a moment to describe the four girls to us, speaking directly to us. Following this the four girls have a conversation in which they playfully label each other. This is definitely a book that I will give to my daughter for her to cherish. It shows that there are all kinds of "Little Women," that all grow up to be successful Women.

Bettering ourselves

2010-08-28T07:41:00.000-07:00

Arguably, with advancements in technology, we have more ways to create mischief and share that mischief than ever before. With increasing modes of transportation, we are able to get inebriated and still make it home safe, or to someone else's home. With easier ways capture memories, we are better able to capture our mistakes. And with easier ways to share... everything, we can more easily share our embarrassments.

I am currently reading a book called How to be Hepburn in a Hilton World by Jordan Christy. It describes how to be classy in a world that makes it very easy to be not so classy. The lovely Jordan discusses one's dress, language, friendships and relationships. In a world that accepts, and even encourages, constant intoxication, spreading of the goodies, and desperate pursuit of gentlemen, Jordan describes how to be a lady no matter one's background.

Fall is coming!

2010-08-27T05:52:00.000-07:00

August is coming to a close, which means that Fall is almost here! I have never been so excited about Fall!

I went to WCU, an itty bitty school in the Western tip of North Carolina, about 5 hours west of Raleigh (no, you haven't hit Tennessee yet!). There was nothing there, and when I say nothing I mean we had a Wal-mart the next town over, and that was it. The entire county had about 3 bars.

Well my beloved Catamounts will be attempting to take on the Wolfpack in just over a week on September 4th. While I am not expecting much in relation to the game, I am excited that I have some college friends trying to come up, as well as some more recent friends interested in attending.

I am also excited about taking a trip to the mountains this fall. While all of North Carolina turns lovely shades of orange, red and yellow, nowhere is more beautiful than the Blue Ridge Parkway. I hope to go camping along the Blue Ridge Parkway, where they have wonderful facilities, clean restrooms and campsites that allow you to back your car right up. That is as close to camping as I will get.

I also want to go to an orchard and pick apples. I did with Campus Outreach one year, a Christian organization at WCU. We had so much fun, and the ladies made an apple pie afterwards. Warm apple cider and apple pie, a wonderful way to get ready for fall!

What are your favorite Fall traditions? Now that we are on our own it is time to continue and create our own!

Don't fit in

2010-08-20T13:28:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else ever feel like they just don't belong? My family can trace it's routes back to North Carolina to the 18th century and have lived in Raleigh, North Carolina for nearly 20 years. I was brought up in a sheltered neighborhood next a mile north of the prestigious innerbeltline by very liberal "tree-hugging" parents. We have been well off since I was aware of cost of living, but never poor before that, and still not rolling in money. But my mom has always lived by the idea, if it isn't broken, don't replace it.

But they were always accepting of anything and everything I wanted to do. I had no critical eye on my every move, but my mom always wanted to know where I was out of my personal safety. My mom got excited about everything from making me a black trench coat and dying my hair blue in 9th grade, to my recent Lilly purchase during the Endless Summer Sale.

But I feel like I don't belong anywhere. Does anyone else feel this way? I have recently fallen into a group of conservative people who are very welcoming and kind, but who also grew up in a world in which I am unfamiliar. They were brought up to be socialites, in private schools, always with a smile on their face and the right thing coming out of their mouth. While a lot of people from this area of town are stuck up, I actually met this group through Church so they are not stuck up. But just like with any group of people, they grew up together, or in similar environments, and so I feel like a bit of an outsider. Does anyone else feel like an outsider where you are? What have you done to change that?

I think what draws me to them is how happy they always are, because I have always suffered from anxiety and depression. And how close they are, since I have never had many good friends. As well as how polite and proper they are. They say please and thank you, don't yell across a store, and look the other way at a misbehaving child.

Here's what I have done: (but first, let me tell you that everything I have done, I have wanted

to do. I haven't thought "what would so and so like," but rather "what do I like." I will admit that so and so's personality has rubbed off on me, though)

I am now a blonde, and love my hair.
I am reading as many books as I can about etiquette and preppiness.
I buy conservative clothes, and when I can I only shop at boutiques.
I primarily hang out at North Hills, Cameron Village and Five Points.

But I haven't changed everything:

I have always wanted to be a homemaker, my mother is a feminist, but she still was a homemaker.
I still have liberal political viewpoints.
I still do not look down on anyone else for any reason, such as skin color, sexual preference or gender, nor because of profession or behavior.

And this is all leading up to my fabulous purchases from Lilly Pulitzer during the crazy, but exciting, Endless Summer Sale this past Tuesday. They finally shipped this morning to arrive Monday, hopefully in time for my trip to Charlotte to visit college friends!

I know that these are teeny tiny, and I'm very sorry. I had to get the pictures from my order history screen and this is the size of them.

But I do not own a shift! Which, in this area, is the daily wear, what you would wear to run errands. I love this one! I can't wait to get it. It has lace around the bottom hem and is so cute!

I also bought a really cute tunic that can be worn once it starts to get chillier and when it begins to warm up again! Also has some lace trim!

Believe it or not this is actually a skort. I haven't worn one in years, so we will see how it works. But it would be great for days when I am a little bit more active so that I don't show anything inappropriate! The one thing I always hated about skorts was that you could tell what it was from the back, I hope this one doesn't! But they have a great return policy, even on these major sale items!

Just like everywhere in the South, it is expected to get married in your 20s. So a lot of people I know are getting married! I haven't been to any nice weddings yet since I never had any good friends, but I thought this would be a very nice dress for more formal occasions such as an afternoon wedding!

I love long sleeve shirts, since they are so versatile! And this one is amazing. It has small ruffles all the way around the neckline and on down. And these small ruffles won't overpower me and my small frame!

Right now I have some bright silver bags in my purse to keep everything together, and I decided they had to go. What better way to replace them than with Pink and Green Lilly bags?

This is my other Lilly bag. I use it for smaller things, like my lotion and such.

And of course my free McKim sandals!

I'm back!

2010-08-20T13:15:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone! It has been so long since I last posted, saying I was back. I have been so busy, and have so much going on. But I realized that at this age everyone does, so why not share my experiences that have brought me away from blogging. Here is a quick run down of what's been going on with me lately.

Career change: I really feel like I am going nowhere as a Pharmacy Technician with Target. I pride myself on viewing everyone as my equal and not looking down on anyone, especially not because of their job choice, but I do look down on myself. A year ago I began trying to become an office assistant, to no avail. I then did what I told myself I would never do. I decided to pursue education again. But once again, and increasingly frustratingly, to no avail.

Health issues: I have Crohn's disease, but have been in remission for 10 years. I decided to go off of my meds almost 2 years ago, and it has finally come back to bite me. After several medical tests I have discovered that I am actually pretty sick. What is good is that I am in no pain, and that there has been a ton of research done of the past 10 years, and many new drugs available.

First time home buyer: I am looking to buy a house! I am really enjoying shopping and planning, as well as looking into decor. My primary problem is that in order to afford the house (realistically) I want, I have to have a teaching position, or at least that income.

Parental involvement: my parents have always been uncomfortably involved in my life. They have always been very open minded, and know that I am a good girl, and were only mad that I would come home late in college because they didn't know where I was and may not have slept well. They would also ask a lot of questions, just to know what was going on. But it always feels intrusive. They also still help me out financially in a big way, where most of my friends are financially independent.

Dating: why can't I find Mr. Right?

While these issues have brought me away from the computer, I think these experiences will also bring me back to it.

I have begun organizing!

2010-03-08T18:25:00.000-08:00

I just sat down to finally begin a single notebook that will organize my entire life! (As I am being barked at, jumped on, and sniffed over by a 10 lb shih tzu.)

I have already more or less completed a grocery shopping notebook. I have included in it, sheets and sheets of coupons, and recipes that I want to try. To that, I plan to add a standard shopping list for me, and the ingredients for all of my regular recipes.

I am beginning the aforementioned life notebook tonight, and will post as I go!

My dog, Zoe, playing with my former roommates stuffed animals!

Organizing your Life!!!

2010-01-24T08:44:00.000-08:00

All my life I have been frustrated that I can't find what I need when I need it, nor remember anything that I need to keep track of. I have decided to do a better job of keeping track of everything! And I will create the notebook on here so that you can create one for yourself to include what you need for your daily, weekly, monthly and yearly life!

Some of the things I plan on including are:

Doctor's visits: When, questions asked and their answers, tests done
General health: immunizations, medications
My possessions: serial numbers, date purchased, warranty information
Planned purchases: furniture and other such things I plan to purchase in the order
Financial information

This is all very important information, some of which could be dangerous in certain hangs, so it is important to keep it safe, even in your own home. It is also important to keep it where it can't be damaged, just in case the unthinkable happens and all of your possessions are severally damaged. I plan on researching burn proof boxes, and possibly keeping an extra copy at a second, safe location, such as my parents home.

I am always open to suggestions on things to add, so if you have already done some of this on your own, or have thought of it, feel free to leave a comment!

I'm back!

2010-01-23T13:47:00.000-08:00

I have been gone for a long time! I have gotten so busy with my social life and getting things done that I decided to stop this. But for the past few weeks I have had an urge to come back and work on my blog some more.

My goal this time is to write when I come up with a good idea, not post a blog every other day. But I am always open to ideas.

Some of the ideas I already have include:

Finding the perfect apartment for you
Organizing your life
All about Blackberry's!

Food Storage

2009-02-14T05:02:00.000-08:00

When you start out on your own, you aren't really sure about expiration dates on foods. Your parents generally took care of this, and you are beginning to realize that the food you buy, won't last forever, as you walk into your apartment one day and realize by the smell that most of your food has gone bad. This is a great little cheat sheet that will help you to know how long to keep your food, and when to throw it out.

First: have a labeling system. Buy a labeler (or just some masking tape), and whenever you buy an item write down the date you bought it. Time can get away from you fast, and with as much food as you may buy, you may forget to throw something out.
Apples: 3 weeks: Store them in the refrigerator, unwrapped. Also, don't touch them!
Grapes: 1 week: Store in the refrigerator in a vented plastic bag. They often come in bags like these, and for a reason!
Berries: 3 days: Keep them in a ventilated container in the refrigerator
Onions: 2 months: Store in a cool, dry, ventilated place.
Carrots: 3 weeks: Remove the green and store in a plastic bag. Limp carrots can be resuscitated by soaking in ice water for 30 minutes.
Raw Chicken: 1-2 days: Keep refrigerated at 40F or lower. Always observe "use by" dates.
Cooked Chicken: 3-4 days: Refrigerate in shallow, covered container
Ground beef: 2 days: Keep refrigerated and observe "use by" date; freeze if use more than 2 days from purchase.
Eggs: 3-5 weeks: Keep on a lower shelf in the refrigerator- not the door.
Pizza: 3-4 days: Put in refrigerator within 2 hours of delivery or else throw it out. Keep it wrapped and refrigerated otherwise.
Flour: 6-8 months: Store in a sealed container in a cool dry place. Keep out moisture.
Dry pasta: Up to a year: Store in a cool, dark place in a sealed container to keep away mold and weevils (tiny, grain-loving bugs)
Whole Coffee Beans: 1 month: The flavor is best within the first 10 days. Store in a cool dark place in a container.
Ground Coffee Beans: 2 weeks: same as above.

If you are anything like me, and work retail, and are on your feet for 8 hours, you don't always feel like making anything for dinner. And on some nights money could go to waste if your food spoils in a matter of days. So, if your recipe calls for something that spoils within days, esp meats, pick it up on your way home. You can't know exactly how your day will go, even the day before, so it is best to buy expensive food that spoils fast when you know exactly how you will feel.

It is best to buy in bulk. You get more for each individual penny. But it doesn't make a difference if you only use about half of it. Don't buy a huge thing of coffee, if you are the only one who drinks it in your house (unless you drink a cup every hour). Gage how much you really use. But always remember these dates in order to eat the freshest possible food, and stay as healthy as possible.

And for even more go to: www.realsimplereallife.com/television/browse-by-topic/food-recipes/how-long-last-00000000005600/idex.html?iid=rs.comhp

Sportsmanship

2009-02-11T14:06:00.001-08:00

For those of you not into basketball Tobacco Road is a series of about 4 colleges in central North Carolina all situated within hours of each other. Two of the schools are situated less than 10 miles from each other. This is arguably the number 1 college basketball rivalry of all time. DUKE and UNC! Considering the first game of the season between the two teams is tonight, let me go over good sportsmanship.

Remember! The other fans have feelings! Don't make fun of the other teams players (on the outside). The other fans are fans of the other team for a reason. Respect their reasons (even if in your opinion they are wrong). Remember that they are people, and in many cases your friends.
Cheer! You are watching sports! Clap your hands, whistle when appropriate. But don't boo! Don't yell out when the ref makes a bad call (although grunting is expected). It makes you look bad.
Congratulate! One team is going to win, and hopefully the better team. But one team will lose. And there is a chance that the losing team will be yours. You don't have to run around shaking hands as soon as the game is over, but if you have a friend who is a fan of the opposing team, tell them "Good Game!"
Most importantly: If the better team (your team) does win, don't get in the opposing fans face. Their team, and often pride and joy, just let them down. They are upset. Getting in their face could cause problems. Tell them their team did a very good job. Maybe even site one point when you thought the game was over. Offer to buy them a beer.
And of course Go DUKE!

How to reuse ordinary household items

2009-02-10T05:53:00.000-08:00

Everyone has certain items laying around their house, that are simply going to waste. Everyone also has needs for special items. But what if you were able to figure out away to use your items that are going to waste, instead of buying a new item? This blog will help you use your items you have lying around the house, or help you save money so that you don't have to buy a brand new item.

Below is a chart my dad found that has a list of common household items.

The above photo can be found larger at

More can be found at Breaking the Chain

Puffiness under your eyes... use preparation H
Congestion... chew a few altoids
Splinter... put a tab of Elmers Glue on it, let dry and peal off
Stinky wet dog... wipe down with a dryer sheet!

I found the following uses for paper towel tubes on another blog

Stuff with grocery bags and store in your car- great for dirty clothes, wet bathing suits, and trash
Papers you want to display, but not yet, can be rolled and safely stored in one

I found even more as a yahoo answers question

If you buy expensive (or sometimes less expensive) liquor and have a pretty bottle, reuse it! Stick a bottle pourer in it (great for parties for their intended use as well) and use it as a very attractive soap dispenser, or for bubble bath.
Reuse plastic sprayers by filling them with water and vinegar and spraying down your shower after you shower. Or with just vinegar as a natural weed killer

Simply googling household items uses or some version of this will help you find many more uses for your house hold items that will go to waste.

How to Make Your Home Instantly Grown Up!

2009-02-09T06:55:00.000-08:00

As you decorate your apartment, you have to buy things that you will like for years to come, because furniture isn't something most people can buy as the seasons change. Despite the fact that many of us just graduated college, we have to put our hs and college decorating sense away, and learn how to have a more mature decorating sense.

Get a neutral sofa. As the seasons change, and styles go in and out of fashion, simply change your throw pillows. If anything, buy inexpensive slip covers. I'm purchasing the below sofa and matching chaise lounge from IKEA in the next few months. IKEA also has slip covers that go with their furniture.

Get a comfortable ottoman! It can be used as a comfy place to rest your feet, and also as a coffee table.
If you get a rug, get one that is big enough! Most apartments have carpeted floors, but if you are lucky enough to have wood floors, a nice rug is a great accent. But make sure it is big enough to go under all of the furniture. The room will look more pulled together!
Make a conversation area! Arrange your seating to face each other, and not just your TV. If you don't have a lot of room, arrange the main pieces towards the tv, and one or two beside the TV. It would be best to have an entertainment center that can close.
Hire a designer! It is a waste of money to make mistakes. But if you don't have a lot of money, recruit a friend! With this economy most interior designers aren't getting a lot of business. So you may be able to get a friend to do it for a small fee.
Get a round dining room table! These are more inviting, and they also take up less space in a small apartment.
Get a big mirror! It gives your room the allusion more space!
Get double use pieces! Buy pieces that can be used for decoration and storage! Old suitcases are great for this, as well as many ottomans!

This is an article found in March 2009 Cosmopolitan. My favorite magazine!

Recipes

2009-02-09T04:36:00.000-08:00

McDonald's Snack Wrap

White tortilla shells
Cheddar cheese
Grilled or fried chicken strips
Shredded lettuce
Dressing of your choice

Take a tortilla shell and squirt an even layer of dressing on the shell
Add cheese and lettuce
Add chicken to the middle
Fold your tortilla shell up about 2 inches
Wrap it up from each side
Enjoy!

Teriyaki Chicken and Seafood Sauce

White Rice

1 package white rice
water

Prepare rice according to manufacturer's directions. This takes about 20 minutes

Seafood Sauce- this is the white dipping sauce I get at the mall at Japanese restauants

1 cup mayonnaise
3 tablespoons white sugar
3 tablespoons rice vinegar (this was a bit much, next time I'm cutting in half)
2 tablespoons melted butter
3/4 teaspoon paprika
3/8 teaspoon garlic powder

Mix all ingredients together and store in refrigerator

Teriyaki Chicken

1 package of pregrilled chicken
Teriyaki Sauce

Spray your skillet with pam and warm it up
Put unfrozen chicken in your skillet
Pour a little teriyaki sauce on the chicken, enough to cover it
Stir the chicken as it fries (stir-fry). After a moment pour a little more teriyaki sauce on your chicken. Stir fry your chicken for a few minutes, until it is warm

To make this a complete meal, add some vegetables to your stir-fry, such as carrot slices or chopped onion.

Rigatoni

Mueller's pasta has great recipes on their boxes. They are very simple and easy. And anything can be added as you see necessary. These are great to make in the beginning of the week, and then bring to work to save money for days.

16 oz Mueller's Rigatoni
1 lb bulk Italian sausage
3/4 cup chopped onion
2 cloves garlic, chopped or 2 tsp garlic powder
2 (26 oz) jars pasta sauce, any flavor
1 tsp Italian seasoning
3 cups (12 oz) shredded Mozzarella cheese, divided
Chopped parsley or garnish (optional)

Preheat oven to 350F.
Cook and drain Rigatoni according to package directions
Cook sausage until browned in a large skillet over medium heat
Stir frequently, breaking up sausage into small pieces
Drain off fat; add onion and garlic; cook and stir until tender
Add pasta sauce and Italian seasoning
Bring to a boil; reduce heat and simmer, covered, for 20 minutes
Combine Rigatoni, cooked sauce and 1-1/2 cups cheese in a large bowl
Spoon into a lightly greased 13"x9" baking pan
Cover and bake 35 minutes or until hot and bubbly
Uncover; top with remaining 1-1/2 cup cheese
Bake 8 minutes longer or until cheese melts
Garnish with parsley, if desired

To make this a complete meal, add a salad. To make it easy, buy premade salad in a bad with everything you need. Add croutons, or there are premade salad additions.

Easy Tuna Casserole

3 cups cooked maceroni
1 (6 oz) can tuna, drained
1 (10.75 oz) can tuna, drained
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1 1/2 cups french fried onions (or plain chips)

Preheat oven to 350F
In a 9"x13" baking dish, combine macaroni, tuna and soup. Mix well and top with cheese
Bake at 350 for 25 minutes, or until bubbly. Sprinkle with fried onions (or chips) and bake for another 5 minutes. Serve hot

To make this a complete meal, add a salad. To make it easy, buy a premade salad with everything you need. Add croutons, or there are premade salad additions. Or you can add a vegetable.

What to keep with you!

2009-02-08T03:18:00.000-08:00

Now that you are independent from your parents, you will have to take care of everything on your own (don't forget that if you have questions your parents will always be there to answer them. You can't be expected to know everything). Here is a list of things you should keep with you at all times to hopefully get you through your everyday.

Wallet

Cash! It is always good to keep some cash with you. First of all, it is much easier to keep track of your spending if you keep cash with you. Also, some services only allow cash payment, or a minimum of a certain amount for cash. For instance, if you have to get towed by AAA, they will tow you a short distance at no charge, but you have to pay by the mile beyond this. And they charge to a card a minimum of about $30, unless you have cash. To be sure of the amount contact your AAA, or other similar service.
Credit Card! Unless you have a problem with self control, it is a good idea to keep a credit card with you for unexpected charges. Most unexpected charges are known in advance (doctors appointments, car repairs), but it is a good idea to prepare for the unexpected.
Photo ID! Preferably a driver's license, this is always good to keep with you. It is required to drive, purchase tobacco, alcohol and pseudo-ephedrine. And also for proof of name or address.
Emergency contacts! If you are in an accident (heaven forbid), the important people can be contacted. Typed will be easiest.
Important medical information! If you are in an accident, doctors cannot automatically know what prescriptions you are on, what medical conditions you have, what allergies you have. Once again, typed will be easiest. Type all of your medical conditions, prescriptions and drug allergies. Also add your doctors names and phone numbers.
Health insurance cards! Make sure you have them all, including prescriptions... if you have them. Make sure you know the difference! I am a pharmacy tech and you have no idea how many times we get a doctor's or dentist insurance card, something we can't do anything with!
AAA! You never know when you may have a flat tire, or your car break down. It is a good idea to have this and so that you have the phone number and your account number.

Purse

Daily Medication! If you are on any daily medication, carry a few with you at all times, just in case you don't make it home. Especially if this is a medication you cannot go a day without, ask your pharmacist if you can pay out of pocket for a few, and carry them in a little pill box. Any small, sealable box will do, even an extra pill bottle. Make sure it is sealable, and will stay sealed. For instance, small jewelry boxes are pretty, but made for show and they may open back up fairly easily.
Pain relievers, decongestants... Anything you feel as though you may need when you are out. If you get headaches or other pains at all, keep some Ibuprofen or Tylenol with you. If you have a sensitive stomach keep something for your tummy with you. Anything you think you may need. Many of these have travel size bottles. Most Targets have a section devoted to travel size.
Pepper Spray! Anyone, especially females can be subjected to random acts of violence. If you are ever walking through an empty parking lot or parking garage, or just get a feeling, pull it out and hold it until you reach your car and lock it! And leave immediately. If you are the type to write down your transactions down and sit in your car for a few minutes, get out of this habit. Even in the middle of the day someone can carjack you. Pull your receipts out, place them in your lap, or somewhere you will remember, and copy them down at home where you are safe.
Female products! Keep a few spare ones available for surprises, or for friends. Many women track their cycles, but if you are anything like me and can't remember, or you have an unreliable cycle, keep some with you.

Car

Insurance! It is a good idea to keep a copy of your insurance information, as well as contact information, typed and in an envelope, in your car. Keep several copies. This is a good idea because what if you are in an accident. Even if it isn't your fault, you should still exchange information
Registration! You never know when you may be pulled, or drive through a check point. Make sure you have this handy and up to date! Mark this on your calendar when your registration needs to be updated! Some officers won't do anything if your registration is recently expired, a simple warning, but this is a ticketable offense. Make sure it is handy. Remember that the officer is vulnerable, and often not very liked, out on the road or highway, he or she doesn't want to be out there long.
Cell phone charger! You never know when you will need your cell phone. It would be very bad if you were to run out of gas or pop a tire and be left with a dead cell phone. I have had a phone that had a little battery inside that is only activated during 911 calls, but don't count on this.
Umbrella! Even if you are like me and think that umbrellas are too much to worry about on most days, what about those days when you spend a lot of time on your hair and make-up for a nice dinner and everything cooperates, and the weather decides not to cooperate. Toss it in the back of your car (or there is space in the drivers side door in Jettas?).
Maps! With the prevalence of smart phones today, these aren't as necessary, but it is always a good idea to keep a map in your car of your state, especially if you just moved.
And more can be found here!

It is always a good idea to be prepared for the unexpected. With this guide you will hopefully be able to get through almost any situation. But everyone is different and may need a few more things. If you think of anything else you need add a comment to help the rest of us!

Advice

2009-02-07T17:17:00.000-08:00

I am here to offer you advice. If you have any questions or issues with any part of life, I can give you any advice I can. If you have relationship issues, roommate issues, apartment issues, budgeting issues, job issues... ask me about it and I will give you some advice. Just post a question in the comments or e-mail me at rfwarlick@vzw.blackberry.net and I will reply ASAP.

How to dress your new age!

2009-02-06T02:14:00.000-08:00

So now you are out of college, with a closet full of clothes from Hollister and Abercrombie that push your boobs up and out. You are suddenly at a new stage in life and need clothes to match this stage. This is a blog that may help with your decisions when you get up in the morning. As you go shopping, try to pick out clothes that you can wear day to day and at work. This would mean less laundry and less clothes- less money! Also, I do not have the best fashion sense, so do not base your wardrobe 100% on your blog. This is just what I am going for. Here are two fashion on a budget blogs I follow: The Budget Fashionista and The Budget Babe. Also, Shop Style is a great website for style. It has a lot of clothes that are several hundred dollars, but if you adjust your search results you will find some great bargains!

Tops: Button up shirts are definitely more grown up. A satin button-up blouse paired with dark wash jeans and black pumps, or a white button-up blouse paired with dark wash skinny jeans and brown boots look great. Also, slight hints of lace are nice. Such as lace on the shoulders. Guys have it a little easier. Day to day guys look fine in a nice t-shirt. But going out at night, once again a button up shirt. The photos below were taken from forever21 (female) and hudson belks (male).

Bottoms: Dark wash jeans are always great (at least in the past few years). You ladies should have some skinny (for boots) and some flair (for heels). Also, destroyed jeans have been fashionable for awhile now. On men, tighter (not like cowboy tight, but not sagging) slightly destroyed jeans look good. Now, the jeans that I am describing are the jeans that are $100 plus. I bought a pair of big star jeans that start at $90 and only go up for $45 from plato's closet! Go check out here, especially for jeans! The female stirrup jeans (great for boots) are from wet seal. The other two are from buckle.

Shoes: To me, the most adult shoes for women are heels. There are great heels that aren't very high. I would say at least get black pumps. It takes awhile to get your feet, back and knees used to wearing heels all the time, so don't wear them to the mall your first day. I would actually suggest breaking in new shoes while drunk. I would also suggest brown boots. Beyond this, be careful! Color shoes take practice. Luckily, flats are very in style right now, so wear these as much as possible! But I still like my heels (there is a reason guys like them: they make your butt and boobs stick out the way they make you stand). As far as guys, no more tennis shoes! Never! Always dress shoes. The women's shoes should be simple enough, but I have included a pair of nice mens day to day shoes below from Belks (although I believe this may be a North Carolina based store).

Make-up: This is only for girls (sorry, you emo boys may be attractive to some girls, but in my opinion, not the sign of a mature 20 something- to each his own though)! Natural. I cannot say this enough, go natural! By this I mean don't wear bright blue and green faded eye shadows unless you want dollars in your g-strings. Use browns and blacks, earthy tones. Use light to medium browns during the day, and light, medium, and dark browns and a little black at night. The smokey look is very in right now. Here is an example of great smokey eyes. Tone it down during the day, but this is great for night. And don't expect for it to look perfect the first time! Try it out on your own, and tweak it until you create a look perfect for you!
Nails: This is for girls and guys! Keep your nails trimmed, or at least smooth. Do not bite your nails! Let's get specific: Guys: your nails should be trimmed, below or at the end of your finger. You don't need a manicure, but it is nice to keep a manicure kit hidden away. This goes for your toes, too! Clean your feet! Trim your toenails! Girls: Don't have those crazy long nails! It's not hygienic or professional. Or crazy nail colors! Natural nails or fake keep them just past the tips of your fingers, and keep your colors nice. Reds and pinks, or french tips. Either way, you wear nice clothes, clothes that could get pulls and runs if hang nails get snagged. Always carry a nail file, because you never know what happens!
Don't forget! Accessorize! Putting thought into your outfits will show maturity and professionalism. Not only necklaces and earrings, but the appropriate shoes and belts. And even jackets. Just because it's 50 degrees outside doesn't mean you can't wear a nice jacket over it. If one item in your outfit is nice, all the items should be. As you buy outfits plan them out, don't just hope you will find something that goes with it, because you may not! It's better to regret buying something for a season than to buy something and run out of money, and then never even wear it!

Dressing your age is very important. At 23, trying to be an adult also means looking like an adult. If you are anything like me and do not look your age (I am constantly mistaken for a high school student, college at best) it is even more important to dress my age. Not everyone feels like dressing up everyday, I constantly have days where I run out in sperry's and a t-shirt, but the way I see it, you never know who you will see that you want to impress (your boss, an attractive member of the appropriate sex...) so it is important to dress the way you want to be perceived. These are just suggestions based on the fashion I see and I like, but fashion is different everywhere and with everyone. I would suggest not dressing totally for someone else, you should always be comfortable and confident in your clothes!

Getting everything done!!!!

2009-02-04T10:23:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it just feels like there isn't enough time in the day to do everything you both want and need to do, and unfortunately the things you need to do usually come first. But in order to get everything done you usually need a routine. I've already done a blog about scheduling (the second half of the blog). This blog will be a continuation of that, but also tips and tricks on setting up your routine.

Routine:

Cleaning: It takes time to clean your entire apartment. This is why it should be cleaned everyday. Make a habit of cleaning major parts of your apartment everyday. For instance, your toilet on Mondays, your shower on Tuesdays, vacuum on Wednesdays... But every night make sure your counters are wiped clean and dishes are all put away. Create a music playlist of some of your favorite songs to play during this time. Make it long enough to get everything (30 minutes plus), and do work until its done! Find things that need to get done! But, once the play list is over, stop (well, finish your task)! If you continue with something you don't want to do you may get burnt out and not want to do it for awhile= a messy living space :-(.
Projects: Do something around your apartment everyday to better it. For instance, if you just moved in over the past few weeks you may not have unpacked everything, such as dvds or shoes (it took me a month to unpack my sandals because I moved in winter), spend a little time everyday doing these things. Sometimes they do cost money, such as doing decorative crafts for your apartment. But if you go to a craft store you can buy things from scratch, spend more time on them, and have less time for a new craft. This could be time you would have usually spent watching tv. You will feel much more accomplished and sleep much better knowing that these things are done, and you'll end up with a great looking apartment!
Bills: Get into the habit of putting your bills in a specific spot as soon as you walk in. If you set them on the counter with the rest of your mail, they may end up being thrown away with the rest of your junk mail- not good! So go ahead and put them here. Then pay them by the end of the night. Make a habit of glancing over as you straighten your apartment to look at your bills and then pay any that haven't been paid. It only takes a minute, but it's better than having bad credit!
Laundry: Do your laundry on a set pattern, whether it be once a week or once every two weeks. Do it in a set way. For instance, I do it when I go to the gym. I put it in, go work out, come back and move it, shower, and by the point that I'm ready it's about ready. And put it away immediately!
Exercise: Exercise is very important, but the excuse that some people use is that they don't have time. It's actually that they don't make time. There are desk exercises you can do while you work, but if you prefer to go to the gym you need to work it into your routine. Do it every time you have a day off, or a shorter work day, if you work shift work like me. Or, if you work a set 9-5 job, work out one or two weekend days, and then one or two more days after work. Maybe keep a few sets of workout clothes in the trunk of your car (but wash them after every use) so that you don't get tired or wrapped up in something else when you stop by your house. Do it every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, or every day you have set. Also have a set time. For instance, I go at noon every time, because Desperate Housewives plays at noon on weekdays.

Scheduling

Doctor's Appointments: There are those things that you have to schedule, that can't become part of your routine. Things such as doctors appointments. Write down the date that you would like for them to be, and make a note of when you should make the appointment. For instance, if you had your last dentist appointment in mid-January, make a note mid-May to make an appointment for mid-July. Check you work calendar to make sure there aren't any business trips or important meetings already set up. But check to see the last date you can cancel your appointment without penalty, because trips and meetings come up! Some offices also have weekend and evening hours. It's not common, but if you find one, go here if asking for a few hours off is an issue.
Friends, family and relationships: Write all of these down in your planner! Make all of these official. And make time for each group once a week. For instance, make room for at least one friend (preferably more, but at least one for your own sanity), make time for your family once (I have spaghetti with my parents every Sunday, but unfortunately not everyone lives near family) and make time for a significant other once a week (if you don't have one try to go out on a date at least a few times a month, for your own sanity).

It is very necessary to have a routine in order to get everything done, just as necessary to be organized to pay your bills. Having a routine allows you to get used to things, allowing you to do things. A routine isn't for everyone, but it sure does help me get everything done!

Relaxation!!!

2009-02-02T07:42:00.000-08:00

After a long day of work, or a bit of drama, everyone needs to relax. Increased or constant stress can harm us, and it is best to find something to do that will help us relax.

Exercise: If anyone ever angers you, either at work, in a friendship or a relationship, having it out with them when you are still angry can only cause more problems. If they are trying to talk to you, explain to them that you are angry, and are afraid of what you may say. Then go take your frustrations out on gym equipment that won't take anything out on you.
Television series: If you have a very stressful job, think of something you can look forward to. Record a tv series every day and then when you come home turn it on. It will give you something to look forward to every day! I watch Desperate Housewives on Lifetime. At least where I'm from it plays at 12 and 1 everyday. It's already several seasons in, so you can either wait for it to start back over, or rent them to catch up.
Movies: Have a good stock of chick flicks (or action movies, depending on your preference. You could always rent a movie, but having one already at home is easier. Target and Wal-mart often have dozens of movies that they switch out that are only about $10, but these movies are usually a few years old. Go home, put on a comfy outfit, pop in your dvd and watch a great movie.
Books: Get a good girly book (Nicholas Sparks is great and constantly writing) and curl up and just read. Movies are great because they take us away from reality, but books do the same! And they take longer to get through. A good movie takes a few hours to get through. But a book usually takes days, sometimes weeks to read. You get more connected with the characters.
Bubble bath: Take a lovely, candle lit bubble bath. Put some candles on the side of the tub and around the bathroom. Put some bubble bath in. As far as scents, lavender is very relaxing. Get a washcloth, wet it and put it on your forehead. It will cool off quickly and it will feel really good. Play your favorite slow songs (create a playlist). Afterwards, get dressed in something comfy and play your favorite girl empowering songs and dance around!
Clean! Often time when you get mad at people or a situation, you don't feel as though you are getting anything done. If you clean, you will feel very accomplished and empowered once you are done. Getting something done will help clear your head and may help with the original situation.
Eat! Everyone has a comfort food, usually expensive and fattening fast food. Do what you want (EAT!) because holding yourself back will only cause more stress. But, make it yourself, and alter it! Making it yourself with save money, and it will give you a sense of accomplishment. Alter it so that it is less fattening! If you really like burgers, get a George Foreman grill that drains the grease- healthier! If you like asian cuisine, learn how to make it yourself. This stuff can get really expensive, but I love it! So I will be posting recipes that cut the costs!

Relaxation is very important! Stress can cause harm on your body and it is important to relieve the stress. If you are ever fighting with a friend, coworker or significant other, explain to them that you don't want to say something you don't mean, and then do one of these for a little while. Or if you just have a hard day at work, give one of these things a try!

Debt: Your Worst Nightmare

2009-01-29T13:11:00.000-08:00

The picture to the right is definitely not the right idea! But, many early 20somethings are in debt. Either from having to find ways to pay for school, or from getting their first credit card and deciding to look fabulous. But hopefully by now many of your have realized your mistakes, and have decided to man up and decided to do something about your debt. Here are some tips and tricks that will help you on your quest to becoming a debt free 20something!

Don't go into debt in the first place! If you are about to get your credit card... def take this advice! And if you are already in debt, do this as well. I have mentioned this several times. Take the money that you are allocating for various expenses (food, clothes, gas...) and divide it by four. Only spend this amount in the week. But to make sure you do, go one step further. Withdraw the amount of cash you have allocated for the week, and only spend this. Leave you credit cards at home, and enjoy being one step closer to better credit!
Knowledge! Know what you are up against! The best way to do this is to compile all of your information together. A great website that I have discovered is www.mint.com. It allows you to compile all of your different accounts, and categorizes them (with some help from you) so that you can tell exactly how much you spend on fast food, on clothing, on your utilities... It also compares this to the average in various major cities, against each state, and against the entire US! (I am below average for just about everything... except food :-(. But it gives you something to work towards. You are also able to set up a budget, and tell exactly how much you are over. It's an amazing website that will help you manage your expenses and put your debt right in front of you to deal with!
Eat in! Don't eat at convenient fast food restaurants all the time. Eat in, or bring a healthy, inexpensive snack. Those fast food places are very expensive, and very unhealthy. You will be doing your wallet and your waistline a favor if you stop eating out so much! Also, learn how to make equivalents to foods that you eat out. Learn how to make teriyaki chicken that you buy at the mall. Learn how to make Zaxby's chicken! Spend less money in the grocery store and don't waste the gas!
Budget! Create you budget and stick to it! Be realistic. Don't set $50 for clothes and $200 on food, if you know you are obsessed with new clothes and eat in 99% of the time. Think about what you usually spend, and decrease it proportionally. Use www.mint.com so that you can tell how close you are to budget without managing it yourself. But make sure you factor in hundreds of dollars towards your debt!
Pay it! Pay your debt off in hundreds of dollars, more than the minimum. The minimum generally just pays the interest. Ask you bank how much interest you are accumulating a month, so that you know how much beyond the minimum you need to pay to make a dent.
Ask! Ask you bank to lower you interest rates. It would definitely help you pay off your debt, and the worst that could happen is for them to say no!
Get help! If you realize you can't manage this on your own, get help! There are people out there who cost, but who are there to professionally help you. Try to find a personal banker, or financial specialist. They may cost, especially the good ones, but the will be worth it in the end!
Auto-pay!!!! If you can't remember to pay any of your bills (including credit card) set up auto-pay! The set amount you choose, or the cost of your bills, automatically comes out of your account on a certain day each month. This way your bills won't be late! Because late bills contribute to bad credit!

Paying off your debt fast is very important. You will have more money sooner, rather than some money for a long time. It also improves your credit which will help you get a nicer house, car and apartment, for less in some cases! Do your best not to go into debt, but once you are, get out fast by living like you are actually making significantly less!

A fresh month

2009-01-28T19:04:00.001-08:00

It's getting to be the end of January, we are all about to begin February. Think of this as a fresh start. Think of each new month in this! I know it is only the second month of the year, but I have read studies that say that the majority of New Year's Resolutions have already been given up by now. Don't wait for next year to make new ones. You could do so much damage by waiting around for the next time for resolutions. Make new ones at the beginning of each month! Here's some of what I'm talking about

Budgeting!!!!

Credit Cards! I know I have said they are great in the past. Let me clarify how to use them in a good way. Get a credit card with a low limit!!!!! like $500 low. Pay this off every few days and write these amounts in your registrar!!!!!! Don't get a huge credit card unless and carry it around for emergencies, then on a shopping spree!
Pay off Credit Cards! Let's say you have already maxed out several credit cards, as I'm sure some people have, and are thousands of dollars in debts. Or let's say you are in debt because of school. The simplest piece of advice would be to take it one day at a time, and set aside as much as you can. Get professional help if you are far in debt. The more professional, the more expensive, but the more they can help. But even if you are making enough to live a fairly cushy lifestyle, cut your expenses significantly, budget wisely, and pay off your payments fast to get a better credit score! And don't forget! Those minimum payments may only cover your interest, you may not actually be making a dent in what you owe!
Budget week by week! Set aside the right amount of money for your set expenses in the beginning of the month: rent, utilities, insurance, payments... The rest is for your changing expenses: food, clothes, entertainment... Divide the money into 4 (for four weeks in a month) and spend this amount each week, but no more. If you have problems (like I do) try withdrawing this money and spending cash each week. Then once you run out, you run out and don't spend anymore.
Keep looking! Keep the cost of all your bills out, and their due dates! Make sure they are all paid in full on time. Some you can even pay in advance! Make sure you have enough for all of your bills, because this is the most important thing. You may be living paycheck to paycheck for a few years (hopefully you then get that huge promotion, or that huge wedding ring...) and you can finally move up in life. But you can't if you have bad credit.
Save! The economy :-(. It's not doing well, as everyone hears about daily, but it's the truth. I have heard that it should be doing better by the summer, but you never know. Keep your portfolio and resume ready just in case. And keep some money set aside to get you through if something does happen. It is wise to keep at least 2 months saved up, of daily living expenses. I've heard as much as 9 months should be saved up. But do what you can. Because once your income goes, you can't really do anything.
List! Make a list of everything you WANT! This is help you save for these things instead of blowing it on spur of the moment small purchases! Put on there your barstools, and those hot $150 jeans your dreaming of! (Or maybe this is just my list) But make a list, and maybe put pictures up in a few strategic places to entice you to save up!

Health!

Exercise! It's never too late to start exercising! Don't be ashamed to exercise. What's the worse that could happen? People make fun of you? No one will! Esp not in a crowded gym! They would get their butts kicked by all the in shape people! You fall off the treadmill? I've done it! Maybe that hot nice guy will see you and realize you're human and check to make sure your ok! Its better to do it now, than 20 years and 40 pounds later!
Eat healthy! It's cheaper first of all! Think about how much you spend at McDonald's or Moe's everytime you go. Then think about how much you would spend on a casserole, and how many servings you would get out of it. Also think about how much healthier this is. Everything for lasagna is about $30 (this one is a bit expensive). I usually get about 8 servings out of it, this is less than $4 a serving. And most of the things that go into it you already have!
Vitamins! Take a multivitamin everyday made for women (or men if you are a man). This will give you an extra boost that will help you out. It only takes a minute to take and you will feel much better!

Personal

Job! Now I'm not going to tell you to quit your job, esp in this economy. But I will tell you to do something to improve it! If you don't like your position, think about what you could do to get a promotion. If you actually dread coming into work, begin putting your portfolio together so that you can be ready if another position comes up. But stay realistic. Don't expect to become the CEO anytime soon if you just graduated from college.
Relationships! This goes for both romantic and friendship. Relationships are a two way deal, each side has to give and take. Make sure you listen to all of your friends! And make sure they are listening to you. If you think you aren't getting what you deserve, talk to your friend. It's better than blowing up at them down the road. Getting your feelings out may create a tense situation, but think about how tense a situation would be if you blew up at her during brunch because she's going on and on about her stupid dog (not a real life event hopefully)

Think of each new month as a new beginning, and do what you can to improve yourself. Most peoples New Years Resolutions don't last but a few weeks, an average of 3. Think about if you did this for 3 weeks each month. If you ate well, budgetted well, and exercised for 3 months out of the month? That's 3/4's of the year you would be doing good, instead of 3/52's. Who knows, it may even become a constant habit!

How to go grocery shopping

2009-01-26T06:30:00.000-08:00

Grocery shopping is something everyone has done by the time they are our age. Most of us have done serious grocery shopping by now. This blog will give you more tips and tricks to going grocery shopping effectively, and hopefully not have to make another trip out an hour later.

Make a list: Through the week write down things you need as you run out of them. This is most easily done on a dry erase board you can keep on your fridge, or somewhere else easily accessible. Then, on your grocery shopping day transfer this to your list! As for the rest of the list, it would be best to plan out your menu for the next week, to save gas on multiple trips a week. Write down all the ingredients you may need and buy them then.
Make a menu: At the beginning of each week write a menu for the rest of the week. Add these things to your list. Include, or don't include, date nights. I listen to Cosmoradio on Sirius, and they talked about one girl who would arrange her dates in the beginning of the week and then write her menu to save money.
Take your list! Make sure you make a list and take it with you! Otherwise, you may forget something. Organize your list based on your grocery store, to avoid having to double back.
Coupons! Before you go, gather up your coupons. Check expiration dates, and pick up staple items that are about to expire even if you don't need them. I'm talking about paper towels and tissues, not chicken broth.
Eat! Don't go to the grocery store hungry. At least buy some fast food on your way, if you really have no food at home. Otherwise you may buy things that look good, but that normally you wouldn't actually buy.
Check prices! Buy the less expensive brand, unless you really like a certain brand and are willing to pay extra. But things like rice, buy the store brand.
Check expiration dates! Before you buy something, check the expiration date. Think about when you plan on using it, and try to figure out if it will be used before the expiration date.
Double check your list! Before you leave, run back through your list and check for everything. Make sure you got everything you needed.
Pull out your card! I usually save dollars, as much as $10, just on food for me between my coupons, and my membership card. They usually don't sell your info (I have about 10 different cards and have never gotten anything, but I have heard some do), they just want to know what you buy. So make sure you have one to every grocery store you may shop at.

Make sure you bring you list everytime you go shopping! It will be your life saver. And if you don't know what you want to get because your new to grocery shopping (like me) base it on what you have coupons for.

Stocking your kitchen

2009-01-25T06:43:00.000-08:00

I am a very picky eater (worse than a 5 year old). So when I found a recipe book called 4 Ingredient Dinners by Betty Crocker, I got very excited because this meant very bland, and easy foods. As I was sitting down to look through this, I found a list of foods to keep in your kitchen. Here, I share them with you, but first a bit of advice: don't go out and buy all of these! It's just a suggestions. If you don't like an item, don't buy it just because this says to. What I would suggest doing, is as you make a recipe buy the items, and if you like the recipe, keep the items in your kitchen!

Produce:

Fruits:

Apples, pears, bananas, grapes

Citrus fruits (lemons, limes, oranges)

Vegetables:

Carrots

Celery

Onions

Potatoes

Ready-to-use salad mix

Tomatoes

In the Fridge:

Breads and Dough Products:

Pita breads

Ready-to-eat pizza crust

Ready-to-use garlic or cheese breads

Refrigerated doughs (biscuit, breadsticks)

Tortillas (corn, flour)

Condiments:

Chocolate syrup

Chopped garlic

Hummus

Prepared horseradish

Prepared pesto

Dairy:

Alfredo sauce

Butter or margarine

Cheese (grated, shredded, sliced)

Cream cheese

Eggs or egg substitutes

Milk

Sour cream

Yogurt (plain, flavored)

Meat, Poultry and Fish:

Bacon

Boneless, skinless chicken breasts or thighs

Deli meats (ham, salami)

Fresh or frozen fish steaks

Ground meat

Ready-to-cook seasoned mean and poultry products

Sausage (smoked, hot dogs, bratwurst)

In the Freezer:

Desserts and whipped topping

Dough (bread, pizza)

Fruits (blueberries, raspberries, strawberries)

Ice cream and frozen yogurt

Juice concentrate

Pizza

Ravioli (cheese- or beef-filled)

Vegetables (corn, green beans, any favorite combination)

Bakery:

Breads (sandwich bread, rolls, bagels, hamburger and hot dog buns)

Prepared cake (angel food, pound)

Off the Shelf:

Baking Basics:

Bisquick baking mix

Cake mix

Canned frosting

Chips (semisweet chocolate, peanut butter)

Corn syrup

Dried fruit (cranberries, cherries, raisins)

Evaporated milk

Flour

Nuts (almonds, walnuts, pistachios)

Shredded coconut

Sugar (granulated, brown, powdered)

Canned Basics:

Beans (garbanzo, kidney, black, white northern, refried

Black olives

Broth (beef, chicken, vegetable)

Canned tuna and shrimp

Fruits (cranberry, pineapple, cocktail)

Green chilies

Mushrooms

Pasta, pizza sauces

Soups

Tomato products (sauce, paste, stewed, diced, seasoned)

Water chestnuts

Cereals and Snacks:

Bread crumbs

Cereals

Corn meal

Crackers

Croutons

Tortilla chips

Condiments and Sauces:

Asian (hoisin, peanut, duck, sweet-and-sour and stir-fry sauces)

Barbecue sauce

Chili

Cocktail sauce

Honey

Ice-cream toppings

Ketchup

Maple syrup

Mustards (Dijon, spicy brown, yellow)

Peanut butter

Pimentos

Preserves (jam, jelly, marmalade)

Salsa, pecante sauce

Soy sauce, teriyaki sauce

Worcestershire sauce

Dressings, Oils and Vinegars:

Cooking spray

Marinades

Mayonnaise, salad dressing

Oils (vegetable, olive)

Salad dressings

Vinegars (balsamic, cider, white, red white)

Herbs, Spices and Dry Mixes:

Bacon flavor bits

Bouillon granules or cubes

Dried herbs (basil, chives, dill weed, fennel seed, mint, oregano, parsley flakes, rosemary, sage, tarragon, thyme)

Dry sauce mixes (cheese, gravy white)

Dry seasoning mixes (meat loaf, sloppy Joe, spaghetti)

Dry soup mixes

Herb or seasoning blends, regular or salt free (Italian seasoning, lemon, Cajun/Creole)

Instant unflavored gelatin

Pepper seasoning

Salad dressing mix

Salt

Sesame seeds

Spices (chili powder, cumin, curry powder, garlic and onion powder or salt, ground cinnamon, ground ginger, nutmet, paprika)

Pasta, Rice, Grains and Potatoes:

Couscous

Instant potatoes

Noodle and pasta mixes

Pasta (long, short and tube types)

Potato mixes

Rice (white, brown, long-grain and quick-cooking)

Rice mixes

Creating your third life

2009-01-24T12:14:00.000-08:00

When most people go to college, they often leave behind one life, to create a new life at college. A new life usually involves new things. So here you are, graduating from college, with two lives, ready to begin a third. What can you do to combine your two pasts to create your third life? The picture here is a photo of all my clothes and shoes I threw out when I began my third life.

Furniture: What furniture you have is the most important, because by reusing furniture you can save money. You will most likely look at your pre-college life for this. Some things that may be helpful include a desk, dresser and bed. Even if these items were originally bought during a flower and pink phase when you were 13, things can be done to them. You can paint such items, or hide them. But just think about the money you would be saving by reusing them. If you really don't like your furniture, think hard about how much a new piece would cost. Go ahead and use your old furniture and save up for a replacement item.
Clothes: Any clothes you purposefully left at home (not based on season) should probably go. You will be beginning a new life, and this means new clothes. Keep anything that you wear often, such as jeans, sweaters and jackets. Throw out those jeans that don't quite fit you, but you say you will grow into. Throw out those t-shirts from summer camp every summer (except one for memories). Keep your nice pants and blouses that you only wear to church, they will be great for interviews and jobs. Throw out your flip flops with the rhinestones, and the ones with flowers... and keep one conservative pair. You get the point. Keep your clothes that you wear often, and your nice clothes, but throw out most of you clothes that you keep for sentimental value. I would suggest first taking your clothes to Plato's Closet, where you can get money for clothes you don't want. But, as I have said before, they don't take all of your clothes. Take the rest to Goodwill where you can fill out a form and get a tax ride off.
Nik naks: This is the majority of what will be thrown out. Some of the things you should keep are pictures (but take them out of the frames), heirlooms, and other sentimental things. But throw out the majority of your stuffed animal collection. As you go through you items, think about what you would be proud to show off in your new apartment. Of the other things you want to keep, think about what you have thought about in the last year. If you haven't thought about it in the last year, chances are you won't again. Buy one or two crates (however many you can store) and only put enough childhood nik naks you can store in here. Hopefully our new apartment will have space for storage, but not all do, and think about what your roommate may bring as well.

Overall, it's very important to begin your new life with a fresh start, but by using your old items you can save a lot of money. Keep what you will be useful, but don't keep all of your coloring books from kindergarten.

Items to keep: Furniture, clothes that you wear daily, nice clothes that you wear on special occasions, family heirlooms, very sentimental items, photos, items you have used over the last year...
Items to toss: Clothes that don't fit, clothes you don't wear, items you haven't thought about or used in the last year...
Remember to try to sell anything you don't want anymore, or give it to Goodwill for a tax ride off.

HELP!!!!!!

2009-01-23T06:04:00.000-08:00

So you are out on your own and you don't know what to do now. There are so many big issues to be faced, insurance, turning on utilities... This blog is all about getting these things done. And if there's something I don't know how to get done, I will tell you who to ask.

Parents! This is the first thing. If you have any questions and don't know where to turn, turn to your parents. Your parents both have experience and know your taste better than anyone else. So while they may have cut you off financially, as some have at our age, they will never cut off advice.
What you need! Whenever you call a utility or insurance company to get something turned on or transferred to your name, you need three things in front of you. 1. Your address. Not everyone has their address memorized, so it would be best to have it written down in front of you when you call. 2. Your checkbook. Sometimes utilities require an immediate payment. It is best to go ahead and get your checkbook with your account information in front of you so that you can go ahead and make this payment. 3. Blank paper. Before you hang up, ask how much the first payment will be (with electric you may not know, but some companies bill the average of the complex). It is wise to right this down so you know what to expect! Also ask when to expect your first bill. Depending on the time of the month, it could be up to two months before you get your first bill (and this one could be even more expensive). Companies send out all of their bills at the same time, and if it's past this time, it may be awhile before you get your first bill.
Utilities: Utilities need to be turned on, or transferred to your name. When you first put your apartment on hold, you should get a list of all utilities you need to take care of and their phone numbers. A list of possible utilities include, electric, water/sewer, cable, and gas. Call each of these a few days before you move in. Two days for the general utilities, because they are generally already turned on, they just need to be changed to your account. If you would like you can ask your apartment office what they would suggest. Call your cable a week in advance, because it usually takes a week to get a cable person out to hook up your cable.
Services: For most utilities, you have two options, on or off. And in many apartment complexes you only have one choice, on. These would be for the necessary utilities such as electric. Then for insurance and cable you have more options. It would be best to speak with someone who works for the company and ask them prices, because this will be the deciding factor. You should do research and figure out exactly what you want, and visit the websites to see what is offered and prices. When you contact them, ask about specials. I got an extra 100 channels on cable thanks to a special. But the people who work at these companies are there to help you out.
Transferring: Most people already have car insurance, car registration and cell phone service before they graduate from college. All that needs to be done is for the service to be transferred to your name. Especially during that time of year, insurance companies get calls about this all the time. They know exactly how it works. As far as car registration. You local DMV's website will have all the necessary information. If you would rather, you can call or head down to your local DMV to ask questions, but be prepared for a long wait.
Cell Phone service: You will have to start this on your own. Do research in advance, although the service you had with your parents may still be active, so you may have service for a few more months. A great site that compares your top choices would be here. Google cell phone carrier reviews to find more. If you can't decide, stop by a store and get pamphlets to see what is offered. A great question is how easy it would be to get out of the service if you are unsatisfied. If you still can't decide, look at the phones offered. Once you decide on your carrier, you have to decide what services you want. Ask your parents how many minutes you spent and how many texts you used. Also, if you have a smart phone you usually have to get a data plan. Some services have an unlimited plan, which is usually the way to go. Sit down with all of this information and with the prices of the plans your chosen carrier has. Once you have picked this out, go in, get your phone and sign up for a plan!
Health insurance: If you are getting health insurance through your work, it is best to speak with Human Resources about this. They will know the details, and will be able to answer your questions, or at least point you in the right direction. It's why they're there! If you get it through an insurance company, ask the company. Ask the company about what they have to offer. Just make sure you have health insurance!
Taxes: If you are only doing taxes for yourself, you may not need a professional. Quicken is a great program for your computer that will help you with your taxes. Or you can ask your parents, as I intend to.
Address: You need to change your address to many places. Your job, your bank (as well as change your job), your magazine subscriptions, your drivers license... Anything that could be mailed needs to be changed to your new address. As things go to your parents, change it over!

Bills are very important. They need to be paid, but they also need to be started. Representatives are trained and prepared for people who are on their own for the first time. They know exactly what is going on and can answer any question you may have. Just be prepared with all of your information and something to write with so you can write down your answers! Don't be scared, everyone goes through this!

Decorating on a Budget

2009-01-22T08:30:00.000-08:00

Since writing this post I have had a lot of new experiences in decorating and a lot more advice. In addition to this post I would encourage you to read other posts such as Making a House a Home for additional information on decorating on a budget.

When you first move out on your own, you often have only what you used to decorate your dorm or prefurnished apartment in college, sometimes you childhood furniture. But this is usually not enough to decorate an entire apartment. On top of having no decorations, you generally have no money. This blog will help you in your quest to create a comfortable place to live that you love showing off to your friends!

Roommate: If you have a roommate, you have an additional income, but also additional taste, that hopefully matches. But it would not be wise to purchase a major item to decorate the common areas of the apartment without consulting your roommate, or without a returnable receipt. Also, make sure all the items you purchase you really do like, and don't just go with this decorating theme, because once you two separate, which will happen one day, you have to decorate your next apartment or house with these items.
Paint: Few things will make your apartment more unique and comfortable than painting it. If you can, getting a professional painter will be best, but make sure the carpets are covered if you do it yourself. Also, check to make sure the apartment allows this. At mine, if it's a dark color I have to put a layer of primer before I move out, but many complexes repaint the walls anyway before the next tenant.
Stores: There are a lot of stores out there that sell a lot of decorating items geared towards people our age that are less expensive (and often less quality). Target is one. Target is constantly changing what's on their sales floor. But they have everything you may need. Some more are Bed Bath and Beyond, and Linens N Things (if one is still open around you, they are going out of business). What would not be suggested is to order furniture online. The S&H would probably be $100 plus, and you could go to a nice store and buy really good furniture for the price of this S&H. I would suggest going to the stores and picking it up yourself, maybe even renting a UHaul for a few hours and driving it yourself if you or a friend don't own a big SUV or truck. Great furniture stores would be IKEA, Ashley furniture, and Rooms to go. Especially right now, many places have low or no interest for a long time.
Second-hand: Much second-hand furniture is second hand for a reason, because it is no longer stylish, but there are things to be done about this. Goodwill and other stores have furniture for very low prices. Also try yard sales and flea markets. Sometimes you can find antiques that look great. And you can often haggle with these guys. To spruce up wood, try painting it, especially white. If it has doors that are missing glass, or the glass doesn't look good, take the glass out and put lace in instead. As for couch's and chairs, buy slip covers. If you are not a smoker, smell it very closely, because a smoker may have owned it previously and it's nearly impossible to get that smell out.
Creativity: Getting creative is the best way for you to decorate on a budget.
Hang your necklaces on the wall. It's easy storage, and it decorates your bedroom. Add a mirror and write on it using dry erase markers.
Buy some fabric you like and hang it as curtains. Hang panels of it! Borrow a sewing machine from a friend and simply fold over the edges to keep them from fraying. Then take scraps about two inches wide and about six inches long, fold the edges, and then fold them in half and sew them along the top to actually hang with.
Buy posters, and then buy really inexpensive poster frames and hang these. From a distance they look really good.
Keep it simple, but use color. Having things everywhere looks tacky. Putting a picture frame or two on a side table, a candle set on your coffee table, just a few things makes it look put together. But decide on a theme, and try to stick to this theme.
Look up apartment websites such as Rental Decorating Digest and Apartment Livin g for more ideas. These ideas will cater to apartment living, with non permanent decorating ideas.

I hope this helps in your quest making your apartment your own. It is very important to feel at home once you get home. It helps you unwind from work or shopping. Do everything you can to decorate your apartment the way you want to, but don't go out a max out your credit card. You may have a relaxing place to live, but that will change once your bill comes!

staying healthy

2009-01-21T10:00:00.000-08:00

I'm hoping every who reads this is healthy and remains that way, but sometimes things don't go the way we hope and everyone needs to do their best to remain as healthy as possible.

Let me tell you a little about myself. I have always been slim, probably because of a good diet (I had a stay at home mom who cooked every meal) and good genes (all maternal female relatives are slim and tall, but I'm 5'4".) In 4th and especially 5th grade I started to fall back, and began to be obviously smaller than my peers. And all of a sudden had stomach flu symptoms, never having a stomach flu and hadn't puked since I was 8 (bad pizza, one of the random things I remember). My mother began taking me to doctor after doctor and within a year I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. I was put on several medications, something I was told I'd be on for the rest of my life. But I was still very sick for the next two years.

For those of you who don't know, Crohn's can be a very serious auto immune disease. It involves inflammation of the digestive tract (usually small intestine like mine), sometimes set off by a certain diet, among other things. It is unknown what causes it, although science points to genes, possibly hereditary.

I averaged 50 pounds at about 5' through middle school but in 8th grade began losing more weight. My doctors decided to insert a feeding tube in my stomach to pump me full of calories, but on my way to get this done I had an x-ray and it was discovered that a small section of my small intestine was beyond rehealing. I had surgery a few days later and had 3 inches of my small intestine removed.

I mentioned diet as being a culprit of episodes. While I was sick, my family discovered that my episodes were often following the introduction of sugar in my diet. Every crohn's patient is different, but in general processed foods cause problems. Sugar (cane sugar and sugar substitutes specifically) seem to be my issue. Stress is another culprit, one reason I decided not to go into the teaching field.

Since I had surgery in 8th grade I have been in basic remission. I have had one hospital visit (after 3 months of drinking smirnoff twisted once a week.) that lasted one night. As long as I watch my diet I am fine, basically staying away from sugar. About a month ago I went off of my last prescription medication, but I have extras for set backs (such as in the days after my birthday when I have very rich homemade birthday cake laying around).

What I have learned is that health is very important, and can be very expensive. Which is why it is important to do what you can to remain healthy. I cannot get health insurance, unless I am willing to go through a small company and pay upwards of $1000 a month, despite the fact that I'm healthy. In order to prove to my health insurance that I am healthy my family was about to pay out of pocket for my medication (they pay for my car as long as I stay off my meds and remain in school full time for health insurance while working 2 jobs).

I hope my little story helps you realize the importance of staying healthy. And for those of you without health insurance, I hope you get health insurance just in case, because while you are healthy it costs less than $100 a month I am told. While Crohn's is generally diagnosed during puberty as your body changes, more and more cases are being diagnosed later in life. And there are thousands of more diseases that anyone can (and hopefully won't) be diagnosed with at any time.

Now, for tips and tricks I have learned to stay healthy.

Vitamins: Take a multivitamin at the very least! Now that I am down to only 2 vitamins I keep them on my bedside table with a bottle of water and take them when I go to bed. Some added suggestions would be: iron (if you get headaches that are borderline migraine, try taking iron. I was diagnosed with stress migraines, and then discovered I was severely anemic, borderline transfusion, and began taking iron. The headaches went away within a week). B12 (if you ever feel stressed or short-tempered, try taking this. I felt this way and did research and began taking B12. It makes me not really sweat the small stuff, and things I can't control.) EsterC (this is a vitamin supplement of Vit C and other vitamins to help with absorption. This could help you prevent a cold, or help you fight a cold.)
Diet: Many fast food companies are coming out with better food, so I won't say stay away from fast food (my favorite would be the wrap by McDonald's). But it is easier to control what goes into your body if you cook it. I would suggest casseroles, which you can take to work and save money. Be sure you eat a balanced diet! The basics are to make sure you include fruits and vegetables. Grab an apple or a bag of carrots on your way out to eat on your commute to work! Eat a salad with some meals.... Also, don't eat more than a portion. I found a great website that gives exact portions of meals. As far as losing weight, due to the fact that I have always struggled with my weight the opposite way, I can not help much here. I won't go into details, but I know from experience the struggle with weight can be difficult either way. But support is very helpful. Join a group online or of friends and do it together. Weight watchers is also very successful. I can also tell you to hide your scale and hide your tags. Base your weight on your appearance, and trust what your friends or professionals say. Have realistic expectations, and don't do anything drastic!
Exercise! Before you check out a local gym that costs check to see if your apartment has a gym. This will be free, and easier access. Check it out (if you don't live in a very nice apartment, the gym probably won't be very nice either, but it may be workable.) Even if you look like you are in good shape, your metabolism won't stay high forever, so it's good to go ahead and get in the habit of it. Go and get your heart rate up for at least 30 minutes at least 3 times a week. If your apartment or your gym offers classes, these are great as well because they are created by professionals.

I hope this helps in your quest to becoming independent. Part of being independent is taking care of yourself. And I hope that my story helps you realize the importance of staying healthy. Because staying healthy can be easy once it becomes a part of your routine.

Organize your life

2009-01-20T10:20:00.000-08:00

I have spoken with some friends and have come to discover that one of the most frightening things about being independent involves organization. Many people are afraid that there will be issues paying bills, and also organizing doctors appointments. The key to each of these is organization!

Bills

A desk! Have a set place to pay your bills. A desk would be best, but a plastic drawer set beside your dining room table would work as well. Just make sure you keep everything together. You need several things around here:
Bills: You need a special place to put your bills. I have a divider at the corner of my desk that holds my bills, and as soon as I walk in (and open to look at the damage and due date) I put them here. As soon as you get a bill go ahead and pay it so you don't forget. Make sure you also have stamps here, because bills do not provide them.
Due dates: If you think you'll forget to pay your bills, post a list of due dates and the cost of your bills. I have mine on a dry erase board on the wall beside my desk. I have the bill, the cost (or the last cost for thing such as electric) and the due date. Then I write the date they were paid to make sure I got this months and it has been paid.
Save them! Once you have paid your bills put the invoice and anything else that came in the envelope back in the envelope. My checks come with a carbon copy and so I save this in here which has the date and amount. I have an accordion folder and I keep all of my bills in here.
Savings: As you do your bills, think about a savings account as another bill. When you pay your bills, transfer a set amount of money (maybe just $50 or $100 a month) and put it away for unplanned things, such as a car accident or medical bills. If you can't do this, get a credit card just for these. You will have to pay interest, but you won't have to worry about being indebted to someone else, just a credit card company! But don't keep this card in your wallet. Hide it, and only take it out if you have an EMERGENCY! (And a $500 dress on sale for $300 is not an emergency)

Appointments

Most people who live with their parents, have the luxury of simply being told when a doctors appointment is, not having to actually call the doctor, and remember a doctors appointment is coming up.

Appointment book! Make sure you buy an appointment book, or use your phone to consolidate. Write down all of your appointments! Your work appointments, your friends appointments, your doctors appointments. Anything you say you will do needs to be official. It will help you remember appointments, and also look forward to fun appointments.
Here is a list of when you should visit your doctors:
Dentist: every 6 months
General practitioner: once a year
Gyno: once a year
These do not count if you have a special condition. Ask your doctor (or your parents who have been scheduling these appoints) and write these down as well.
Also, if you get sick and don't get better, go to a doctor. If it is just a sore throat that won't go away after a week or more, go to urgent care. If it doesn't go away after you see urgent care, or if you have more serious symptoms, go to your general practitioner. Don't run to the doctor everytime you get sick. Most things can be fought if you give it a few days, just manage the symptoms with meds when you need them. Also, health insurance goes up the more you go to the doctor.
I would suggest writing down the date of each of your last visits, and the approximate date of your next visit, or else schedule it in advance. Write this down in your planner, or post it on a bulletin board at your desk.

Don't only write down your work and doctors appointments, write down everything! Write down your fun appointments with friends and significant others, it will give you something to look forward to.

Friends: Make sure you see at least one friend a week. In the beginning of the week schedule this day so that you will have something to look forward to. But as the new person at your job, you are often very busy. But make sure you make time each week to see a friend. If you are tired, simply sit around and watch tv with them. Or go to a bar. But make sure you write this down in your planner to make it just as official as work. And don't let anything else come in the way (although things do happen).
Love life: Just like your friends, make at least one day a week for your significant other, or a potential significant other. Even if you have been dating someone and are past the honeymoon stage, make at least one day a week to spend alone in or out doing something special. Make this day just as official by writing it in your schedule.
Home life: Spend everyday cleaning a little bit. I have written a previous blog about keeping your apartment clean called How to Clean. Basically, you need to clean as you go. And spend a little time each day doing detailed cleaning. For instance, clean your counter each time you cook, but also run in and spend five minutes on the toilet on Mondays, then five minutes on the shower on Tuesdays...
Pets: I don't have a pet, because I can barely take care of myself, but I grew up with a dog, so I may be able to give a little advice. Make time for your pet each day. Write down everything that needs to be done (feedings, walks, potty breaks) and write down a time for each (with breakfast, after work...) Then, when you are winding down in the evening, or getting ready in the morning, sit down with your pet and pet it as you pick out your clothes. Talk to it as you brush your teeth or shower. Give it treats as you cook.

Organization is the key to getting everything done. In order to pay your bills you have to have a set way of doing it. You have to know where your bills go, when they are due, and a guesstimate of how much they will be. You also need to write down every appointment you have, not only work but also friends.

Fashion on a budget

2009-01-19T15:50:00.000-08:00

Most people want to look their best anytime they leave home. Most people want to stay up on the latest fashions, but not everyone can afford the latest fashions. There are entire blogs devoted just to this: staying fashionable on a budget. This blog will talk about some tips and tricks, but if you want more detailed information, google fashion on a budget and follow some of those blogs.

Online Codes: Especially during economy lows, stores are constantly passing around codes for their online stores. There are websites devoted just to giving you codes to get discounts. Whenever you order something online, check some of these out first. A great one that I have mentioned before is www.retailmenot.com. Before you buy something online again, be sure to check this website out and you may be able to get free shipping, or an overall discount, and you can buy more!
People.com! This website is in connection to the gossip magazine that is found in grocery and drug stores. But it does have a section in which it shows where to buy less expensive versions of celebrity clothing. The exact website is: www.peoplestylewatch.com/people/stylewatch/shopping.
Shop! There are some great stores out there that have very fashionable clothes at lower prices (and lower quality). But if you are the type of person to wear an outfit that is in style for a single season, buy less expensive clothes, even though they may fall apart after a few months. Forever21, Wet Seal, and Charlotte Russe are some of my favorite examples.
Department stores! Department stores have great clothes a lower prices. Most department stores have a large section of well known and expensive brands. Instead, go to the juniors, petite or women's section and shop here. They often have great sales and great looking clothes at lower prices.
Second hand stores! While some great things can be found at Goodwill for just a few dollars, and these should definitely be checked out, I'm more talking about Plato's closet. You can take your old clothes here and get money, and then spend it on clothes. Many clothes were simply grown out of and are still in style. They are also very picky (so don't expect to be able to sell everything) but this also means that you will find fashionable clothes.

It is always important to look your best, and dressing fashionably is always a plus. But unfortunately, this can sometimes be expensive. I hope this helps you look your best while staying within budget. And if you want more detailed information, be sure to google fashion on a budget to find entire blogs devoted to this subject.

How to be independent!

2009-01-17T08:11:00.000-08:00

I can't speak for every girl, but I don't want to be the type of girl who has to call a guy everytime I order furniture from IKEA (with "some" assembly required), or I want to hang something. For major repairs, I usually call apartment maintenance, or a repairman later on in life, but for basic repairs, it is good to be able to do it yourself. Here are some tips and tricks that will allow you to be more independent.

Buy a toolbox! Don't just throw your random tools in a drawer or anything. Buy a small toolbox and some of the staple tools. You don't need anything huge, because you don't need every tool. My toolbox has a hammer, nose pliers, regular pliers, a double ended screwdriver, a battery powered screwdriver, and various sizes of nails and hooks and a small kit with nails and screws and hooks. The screwdriver (especially a batter powered screwdriver) is the most important if you plan on buying furniture that requires assembly.
Learn how to use your tools, including the proper name. Get a guy friend to help you with this one day. Learn how to properly drive a nail and screw a screw. Once you learn the basics, you should be able to do any simple thing (don't attempt to build a new armoire with a few pieces of wood.)
Buy a step ladder! If you need to change a lightbulb, especially an important one, you don't want to have to wait for a guy friend or maintenance. Get a ladder so that you can fix it immediately yourself. Sometimes just a chair will work. But if you have 9 foot ceilings and are about 5'4" the ceiling will not be reachable with just a chair.
Buy a book! The Bad Girl's Guide series is a great book that is very helpful. There is one about the open road that includes travel tips, such as how to change a flat time (although AAA is the best way if available). This is an entire series, so check out the rest and see what you find.

It's great to be independent. It's much easier to be able to do things for yourself (but this ability can be hid to make you man feel like your savior). You can get things done much faster and you will feel empowered when you are done. Take these tips and do your best to become independent so that you will feel more confident and more powerful!

Having Fun on a budget

2009-01-16T10:16:00.000-08:00

Almost everyone just out of college are living paycheck to paycheck, without much room for error. Especially in the days before the next paycheck, many early 20somethings are hoping to have enough for food, not really thinking about entertainment. You need to spend as much time as you can through the month on free activities, in order to have more at the end of the month. Here are some ideas that may allow for some fun to be had throughout the month.

Free concerts. Many cities have concerts by lesser known bands throughout the summer months, that cost no money. They are often sponsored by beer companies, and so overpriced beer will be sold.
Drink beer! Beer is much less expensive than mixed drinks. My bartab is usually around 20 with tip (but I am about 110 lb and I only go out 1 every week or every 2 weeks). I would suggest pregaming at home, and then going out and drinking beer to maintain your buzz. Maybe a shot. Also, think about if you want to use cash or a tab. With cash you can keep an eye on your money easier. With a tab, you usually only tip once. Also, go to bars without a cover charge.
Book club! Do any of you or any of your friends like to read? A book club doesn't have to be about insightful books. You can read the latest Nicholas Sparks and similar books. Then get together once a month to talk about the books and anything else on your mind. These events will keep you busy reading, and will give you something to do one night a month. Mine is potluck. The person holding it makes the main dish, and everyone else brings the sides.
Pamper yourself, yourself! Target, and many other similar stores, have items that allow you to give yourself an at home spa day. You can give yourself a facial, or a foot scrub and pedicure. If you are addicted to having great looking nails, think about how much you spend. If you get an $8 manicure every week, think about what you can do to do it yourself. If you get acrylics or silk wraps, think about how many times a week you get a fill, and how much it costs. I can tell you that I used to get acrylics. I had to get a fill at $25 each every other week. Now I have gels, that are $35 a fill, and I get them about once a month. Also, keep them short, this will reduce the chances of them breaking. Also, if you get your eyebrows down at every sign of a new hair, don't do this! Only get them done professionally once a month. Touch up the main areas (don't get too close to what you want to keep to avoid over plucking) and then after about a month, your eyebrows will start looking nasty, so get them done professionally
Rent a tv series! Use netflix or the blockbuster mailing service. With these you can pay a small amount and have a number of movies out at a time, but rent as many as you can through the month. With this you can watch an entire series of a show, which could take up several evenings a week. You may feel like a hobbit doing this, so try doing this with a group of friends.
Potluck dinners! If you meet up with a group of girlfriends for a meal every week or month, consider doing it potluck. This can be any meal, breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner. Choose someone's house to host and this person can make the main dish, and everyone else can bring a side. Choose a theme each week, Mexican, Italian... And don't forget the drinks!

20something bloggers!!!!

2009-01-15T18:02:00.001-08:00

If you are looking more blogs by 20somethings, go to this. There are hundreds of bloggers on here, all in their 20s.

Figuring Life Out

2009-01-15T16:41:00.001-08:00

I was reading a forum on 20 Something Bloggers (a social network for 20 something bloggers) and a young 20 something (20 to be exact) said that she was scared of growing up. Growing up... This is what my blog is all about. How to deal with growing up, learning independence, and not failing at this.
Almost everyone is afraid of the future. I know I am. It is a very sad and scary thought, but at any moment you may loose your job because you company may fold, someone close to you may pass away, your apartment/house may burn down. I won't go into any more detail, but it is a reality that things can go wrong fast. And dealing with any of these things on your own is an even scarier thought.
In order to deal with the possibility (and hopefully not the reality) of these things it is important to do things to make you feel more comfortable with the present and future. These things can include staying happy, having a place to go when you want to be alone, and preparing for the future.

Staying happy

Friends! Everyone needs a good group of friends that they feel comfortable around that can cheer them up. Unfortunately, friends move, and so do you. But luckily, it is possible to meet new people: through work, through friends, through personal ads (craigslist has strictly platonic ads). So if you ever feel lonely in a new city, definitely check out some of these outlets for new people.
Therapy and meds: If you ever feel as though you are too unhappy, you may have a chemical imbalance of some sort... it may not be your fault! There is nothing wrong with this, and you will feel better once you get help. But professional help can be expensive. May I suggest B12 supplements. I currently take these, and I love them! Vitamins are water soluble, and what isn't necessary just passes on through. B12 makes me not stress the small things and the things I can't control.

Have you own place:

Sometimes this isn't always possible, especially if you have a roommate, or if you live in an apartment that you can't customize. If you have a roommate, make this place your bedroom. Invest in a very comfortable mattress or mattress pad and a really nice bedspread. Decorate your room with things that make you happy and relaxed. Go here if you ever feel like being alone, and just breath for a little while. As far as apartment living, many apartments let you decorate as you wish. If you paint the walls, you may have to put a layer of primer over dark colors, and for heavy wall hangings, you may have to hang at a stud. Ask your apartment leasing office what their policy is on decorating. If you ever realize that when you come home, you don't feel at home, paint your favorite color and hang up your favorite posters, invest in decorations because this is where you spend most of your time.
As I type this, this happened to me, as I hear the person who lives above me open and close his door and walk from the stone tile, to the carpeting, it makes me realize that this living arrangement is only temporary. If this happens to you, invest in a white noise machine. It makes a humming noise that somehow blocks out background noise.

Prepare for the future

Save! You never know when you income may stop coming in. Set up a savings account and put aside a certain percentage of your paycheck. Most people live paycheck to paycheck. It is wise to have at least two months of living expenses saved up. But don't worry about it if you don't. There is always unemployment, but this isn't very much.
Insurance: Don't just get the bare minimum on insurance. Get as much as you can afford. I have Nationwide, and can tell you that it is great. Each insurance company has its own perks, so you need to do your research and figure out what you want. I have full car insurance at $86 a month (I have 3 tickets, one at 16, two at 21. The first two were thrown out and the last I used a PJC, I also have no accidents). I also have renters insurance at $8 a month (I have an 838 sq ft apartment). But if something were to happen, having all of this insurance helps me out a lot.
Fireproof box: If a fire starts in your apartment or house, you will very likely loose many very important documents, including renters insurance or home insurance, necessary documents for getting help from insurance. You should keep insurance documents, personal identification documents... anything you feel is necessary, in a fireproof box. Also invest in a safe that can be drilled into the floor (if you live in a house) for your passport and social security card, and any other documents with important numbers such as check books.

Overall, you need to live you life day by day. Live it to the fullest. Don't turn down any opportunity just because you are scared. Take reasonable risks (don't jump off a bridge just because your friends say it's cool). Don't have regrets. If you do something you wish you hadn't, think about how it really affects your life, and if it doesn't affect your life in a bad way, think about how much fun you had doing it!

Don't ever think you have anything all figured out, including yourself. Everything constantly changes, including yourself, and the best way to deal with these changes is to adapt. Let everything flow! Nothing is permanent, this is both good and bad. Good things don't last, but don't worry, bad things don't last either.

Always look professional

2009-01-14T09:26:00.000-08:00

It is always important to look your best. You never know when you may run into someone you may want to impress, such as your boss, your significant others parents, or a future significant other. And if you are anything like me, this always happens when you just run up to the grocery store for some laundry detergent on laundry day. So every time you leave you house, at least look presentable. Here are some tips to doing this.

Iron: As you fold your laundry, look over it and make sure there are any wrinkles. Don't let your laundry lie around, in the dryer or on the floor, hang it immediately! If you forget about it, set up your iron and ironing board in front of your TV, and just work on laundry for about 30 minutes. Then hang it up immediately! Also, don't stuff your nice clothes together. Make sure they have plenty of room. And as soon as you get home either put them in the clothes hamper, or hang them back up immediately, don't sit around in your nice clothes.
Hygiene: This doesn't necessarily mean heels and dress pants. Even in jeans and a t-shirt you can look put together. Take a shower everyday, or at least make is seem as though you did. Pulling your hair back is a great way to make it look nice. A low bun is very sleek, or for shorter hair, pulling half your hair up in a clip is simple. If you're hair looks like a 90s headbangers, definitely wash it, which only takes about 5 minutes. Even wet hair is better than grease and dandruff. If you worked out that morning, and have just been sitting around for a few hours, at least bath. This only takes about 5 minutes. Check yourself! (Privately) smell under your arms, maybe even ask a close friend what they think. Depending on your body, you may be able to risk a quick trip without a complete shower. A suggestion would be extra deodorant, brushing your hair, and definitely wearing clean clothes. Don't wear perfume, especially not anything expensive, this is pretty obvious. Also invest in febreeze. This may make it fairly obvious, but it is fresher than cigarette smoke and liquor if you were at a bar the night before.
Put a mirror beside you door: Take a fast look in the mirror on your way out, just to make sure you are acceptable. Keep a few necessities in a drawer beside it. Keep a brush, a hair tie and some bobby pins in it. Concealer and mascara. Deodorant. Lint Roller. And anything else you may think of.
Keep a bag with you: Make sure you have a few necessities with you at all times, just in case something happens or you miss something. Most of these are for ladies, but guys can pick and choose as you see fit:
Deodorant
A small make up bag: concealer, foundation, eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara...
Red eye eye drops
Breath mints
Perfume
Lint Roller
Brush, hair tie, bobby pins
Stain remover sheets

The key to looking presentable at all times is to think ahead and check yourself out. Even just a quick run up to the grocery store, make sure you look clean, smell clean, and look put together. Always dress as though you may run into someone you need to impress. Check yourself on your way out the door. Remember, that one time you run out right out of bed, will be the one time you run into your hot neighbor!

Follow it!

2009-01-13T18:55:00.000-08:00

Don't forget to follow my blog! If you have a blogger account (which is great because then you write your own blog about your own topic) click on the follow it link! You can get an e-mail whenever I add a new helpful blog! Lemme know if you create a blog! Or add a bookmark to your bookmarks bar for easy access and check back often!

If you follow more than one blog, there are great things called aggregators. These allow you to follow multiple blogs. Google reader is a great one, with it you can use your gmail, or any other google account. Bloglines is another good one. By using one of these, or by using blogger itself, it is easier to keep up with my blog!

Also, if you have any addition tips that pertain to any blog, or any more blog ideas, be sure to leave a comment, even just to say hi!

Using leftovers

2009-01-13T16:44:00.001-08:00

I just have to say I love this photo. This child is looking through the freezer for leftovers, which is what you should be doing to! Save money and eat food you've already paid for!

A staple of cooking on a budget is using leftovers. Almost everyone loves going to restaurants, but it is expensive, and we often get extremely large portions and end up with food left over. Bring that home, and reheat it for a free dinner! This blog describes how best to store and heat leftovers.

Storage: put in the refridgerator as soon as you can, within 1 or 2 hours. The cold temperature of the fridge prevents bacteria from growing, which can make you sick. The freezer is even more effective if it will be a few days before it is eaten. Food in the refridgerator can be saved for between three or four days. It is best to keep tape and a pen beside your fridge to mark the date on your food. If you think it will be more than this stick it in the freezer. The following website is great for knowing how long food can stay: http://hgic.clemson.edu/factsheets/HGIC3606.htm
Reheating: Keep in mind that you may have to add a little bit of water. Cooking tends to dry food out, and consider this is the second time its cooked, your food may become extra dry. Also, don't expect to be an expert the first time. Just like cooking any meal, it takes practice to reheat food.
By oven: Preheat the oven to 165F (remember, its already been cooked) until it is hot and steaming. Liquids should be brought to a rolling boil. Don't burn!
By microwave: I usually cook food for about one to three minutes to reheat. Most microwaves do have a reheating button. But something to keep in mind is how microwaves cook versus ovens. Ovens cook with hot air, microwaves cook by moving the molecules. And this movement only goes about an inch deep. This is why it's necessary to stir your food. So as you reheat your food, make sure you mix it about half way through the cooking time to evenly cook it. Also, if possible, use a food thermometer to test your food to make sure it is at least 165F all the way through.

Reheating your food can be a cost effective way to eat a meal. Asian cuisine, with its large single portions, is a great example. Remember, to cook to 165F, add a small amount of water if necessary, and if using a microwave, stir it about half way through for even cooking.

Barhopping Rules

2009-01-12T08:41:00.001-08:00

If your school was anything like mine, you mostly went to parties where you knew a lot of the people attending. While most schools have a good number of bars in the area, mine had 2 nasty ones that most people didn't go to. So when I moved back to the city and began barhopping, it was a completely different experience. Here are some suggestions to follow to help you stay safe. Most of these will pertain to a female, considering I am a female, and the world, especially involving alcohol is often more dangerous to a female.

Talk to your friends about intentions beforehand, and exchange numbers with any new people. Make sure everyone has an idea of the plan, and get it out if there is a bar to avoid. Make sure the dd won't drink, or go ahead and arrange for taxi payment. Make sure everyone knows intentions. If someone has no intention to go home with someone else, discuss this sober, because alcohol can change peoples minds and lead to regrets.
Pregame! This is only for the one not driving. If you pregame, or drink before going out, you spend less money on outrageously priced drinks. I usually pregame with a crude screwdriver, simply orange juice and as much vodka as I can handle, and then stick to mostly beer when I go out.
Do not drink and drive! People do it no matter what anyone says or does, and it is better to be sober and alert behind the wheel to watch for those who aren't. Getting a taxi is also cheaper than a lawyer, and you don't have to worry about parking. If you get four people together, a cab fare won't be very much.
Always have cab fare. Sometimes the dd gets caught up and next thing they know, they can't drive, and may or may not drive anyway. Or you may accidently get separated, or end up somewhere you don't want to be. Call taxi companies and get the average fair (usually the same throughout the city) and figure out how much yours would be. Do not spend this money on alcohol!
Don't go home with someone you don't know! You may get labeled by your friends if you make a habit of this, and word of these habits do tend to get around. Even once, you may have the best of intentions, but things can go south bad and you may end up hurt or dead. If you do make a habit of this, or think you may at anytime, carry protection with you. Then there will be no excuse.
Don't drink in excess! Few things are tackier than passing out on the sidewalk. Don't do three shots in a row, they will hit you at once. If you pregame liquor, stick to beer for awhile. Learn your limit and stop at that. Don't make a fool of yourself. Always keep an eye out for your friends to make sure they don't make a fool of themselves.
When you get home, stop drinking! Don't continue drinking! Don't waste alcohol on just yourself. When you do lay down, pay attention. If you get the spins, sit up and sleep that way, you will probably puke if you ignore them
Most importantly, have fun, tip your bartender, and don't leave anything or anyone behind!

How to Clean

2009-01-11T09:20:00.000-08:00

Keeping your things clean is one of the most important, most challenging and most time consuming tasks to owning your own apartment. Try to make time on a weekly basis to clean your entire apartment. Clean each room on a different day and it will only take about 30 minutes a day.

Kitchen: Have Clorox wipes ready whenever you need them to wipe down your counter. This will wipe down and sanitize your counter, especially after you cook meat. These can be used for any surface in your kitchen that may look dirty. If you clean as you make a mess, it will only take a few minutes everyday. Don't forget to wipe down the stove top after you cook. This can get very messy very easily. Also sweep and swiffer (these will be your best friend) constantly to keep your floors looking great.
Living room: Put everything pack as you use it. If you work two jobs like me and are exhausted at the end of the day, every two or three days do a fast room sweep and put everything up. Also, make sure you vacuum once a week to make sure it looks good.
Bedroom: This is one of the most difficult, because you don't spend very much conscious time in here. Make it a habit of only doing bedroom things in the bedroom. Also, put clothes away immediately. Most people re wear jeans, so hang them up immediately, or throw dirty clothes in the hamper as soon as they come off. Make sure it is easily accessible. I have mine open, in my closet so I just have to toss it in. Remember to vacuum here as well.
Bathroom: This can be one of the hardest rooms to clean. Clean this room on a day when you know you will have energy and patience. Start with the toilet. Spray down the inside of your toilet with your choice of solutions (I use Clorox), scrub, and let it sit for 10 minutes (or follow directions). If you do this once a week it won't get very nasty. Then move to your sink. Spray this down with bathroom cleaner and wipe it down. Then do the same in the shower. Do these tasks during the 10 minutes before you flush your toilet again. If you do this once a week your bathroom will stay clean and it will be fast.

If you stay on top of your cleaning, it won't take very much time and your friends and roommates will enjoy spending time here.

But sometimes things happen. You may spill something, and no matter how on top of your cleaning you are, these stains will stick.

Carpet: This may be one of the most popular areas for stains. Liquid stains are fairly easy to get out. Immediately blot (don't rub) the stain with a plain paper towel or white cloth. Once it appears to be gone, rinse it with water and blot again. Repeat until the stain is gone. Semi solids, such as pudding and peanut butter, scrape up with a spoon. Then rinse and blot. Solids should be broken up, vacuumed, then rinse and blot. A Shop-vac would be most effective, but also fairly expensive. If you have a pet that is being potty trained they may be worth it though. For anything tougher, such as blood or coffee, try this website: www.howtoremovecarpetstains.com
Paint touch up! Another great tip would be to ask for a little container of paint from your leasing office. Especially while moving in, but during simple every day tasks, things can pump the walls and make a mark. Periodically you can go around and touch up a few spots to make your apartment looking new.

Money Saving Tips

2009-01-11T07:39:00.000-08:00

Especially with the economy, it is often necessary to save money where you can, especially when you are already the bottom wrung at work. This will help you save money where you can.

Buy store brand- Stores are getting better at copying ingredients of the national brands. It is often a good idea to at least try the store brands, because if you do like them you could save a lot of money, $30 for every $100 spent. Some items that are good to buy store brand are your staple items: rice, flour, sugar, salt, milk, applesauce, apple juice, frozen vegetables, frozen juices, or vinegar. You shouldn't buy toilet paper, macaroni, salad dressings...
Use coupons and sales. Buy a divider and clip coupons every Sunday, or go online and print out coupons. Sales, especially around the holidays, are always a good idea. Before you buy anything always check your coupons or sales, or maybe even hold off for a sale.
If you buy items online often, you should be using discount codes everytime. There are websites that have lists of shopping codes by store that can give you discounts and free shipping. Some of these include www.retailmenot.com, www.currentcodes.com and www.couponcabin.com
Buy energy efficient light bulbs. They cost a little more and are a strange shape, but they use a quarter the energy and last 10 times longer. They are especially good if you leave a light on all the time to prevent walking into a dark apartment. Most apartment complexes maintenance teams are willing to change out any light bulbs you can't reach.
Drink tap water instead of buying bottled water. Most bottled water is taken out of a tap anyway. It may taste a little different, but it is something you can get used to. You can also fill up bottles with tap water, but be sure to constantly wash the bottles.
But fake flowers. Flowers brighten up any apartment, but spending almost $20 a week on new flowers can get expensive. If you buy fake flowers to just switch out each season, you can save a lot of money.
Don't continue to buy movies and TV seasons. Rent them instead. Blockbuster charges about $5 to rent a single movie, and this can get expensive. Try getting netflix. I rent two movies at a time and it costs only about $14 a month. You can rent as many as you want, but only a certain number can be out. This is a great way to watch TV shows you get into late, or you want to re watch instead of spending $50 for the entire season. DVR is also great. It costs only $7.95 a month and you can record two shows at a time. This way you aren't stuck at home all the time.
If you take a lot of pictures and then get them developed in an hour, this can add up. Many websites, including shutterfly and Kodak can print and mail pictures you load online for less than ten cents a picture plus shipping and handling. It only takes about a week to get them, and if you order in bulk you can save a lot of money
Put some money in a savings account of some kind. You could add $20 to an account each week, or add 50 cents to a jar every day. Do something special with this money: Each year take a vacation with this money, use this money for Christmas presents, or save it towards a car or house. If you don't think about it and just add money to this "account," it can add up quickly.

Update 1/14/2009

Woot.com: This is a great website that sells very nice items for dirt cheap prices. They sell one item on special everyday, and make sure you check it out early because they usually sell out! They also sell tshirts and wines. One drawback is that it may not be something you actually need, so think for a minute about how much you'll use it, how necessary it is, and how much you have to spend. But if you have a little extra money to spend and want to buy something that takes a lot of extra money, go check it out!

Apartment necessities

2009-01-11T07:06:00.001-08:00

This post was written several years ago. This post is a comprehensive list of odds and ends necessary for an apartment. I would encourage you to look at other posts for tips on decorating on a budget, and stocking your kitchen.

So you've moved your few belongings into your new apartment, and you realize that you don't have much. Depending on your living situation in college, you may have everything you need already. Go through this list to make sure you have everything:

Kitchen- you need to be able to cook, so it is wise to spend your money here first. This is a list of what I use most often.

Microwave- this is a very fast way to cook, but you have to make sure your apartment doesn't come with one.
Four saucepans- the more you have, the fewer times you have to run the dishwasher. A 1-quart saucepan will cook an entire can of soup, so if you only cook for yourself you don't need huge saucepans.
Iron skillet- these are cheaper, but more maintannce. It also deposits iron into your food, not enough to harm you, it's like taking an iron vitamin. At the bottom I have included a paragraph about caring for your iron skillet.
Large kettle
Ribbed grill- I don't have one, but with this you can grill burgers inside.
Casserole dishes- casseroles are great for cooking and then freezing for work.
A few good knives- you don't need a 20 piece set. A simple set of 4 has everything you need.
Spatulas- at least a metal one
Spice rack- I have spice containers that are magnetized for the fridge. These are great for small apartments
Tupperware- make sure it is microwave and dishwasher safe. Ziploc makes great cheap, safe tupperware. Cheap enough that can be thrown away, but they won't fall apart.
Plates, glasses and flatware- the more you have the less washing you have, and the more you can entertain.
Papertowel holder
Measuring Cups
Cutting board

You may also need:

Toaster
Blender
Food Processor
Roasting pan
Rolling pin
Much more

Caring for your iron skillet:

When you first get it, after you wash it, you need to spray it down with pam (pam will become your best friend with this thing) and cook it on low heat for about 10 minutes. Then just let it sit out, but keep it greased. If you only use it once in awhile then you only need to do this when you use it for the first time when there's no grease in it. If you make scrambled eggs in it everyday, keep it greased by spraying it down after every use. Do not run it in the dishwasher! After every use simply wipe it out. If necessary you can scrub, or soak it (often necessary after you cook meat), but it is handwash only.

Furniture- you will need a few items of furniture to live. It is possible to get good furniture for less than $100 a piece from Goodwill. You can also check the classifieds and craigslist. But you are often in charge of transportation. If you want new furniture, try Ashley furniture or Rooms-to-go. Ikea is a great store for everything you need at good quality. They are very simple, but geared towards younger people. They also usually require assembly. With the economy doing not so good, many places are having huge sales, or are even going out of business. This would be a good time to stock up. I was able to buy a very good futon on special when I bought my mattress.

Sofa- a futon can fold flat for guests, or your own bed. Or you can buy a sleeper sofa.
Dining room set
Bed
Dresser
Entertainment center and TV
Coffee table
Side tables and lamps

Moving in

2009-01-10T20:20:00.000-08:00

Once you find your apartment, it's time to move in. If you're just out of college you probably don't have very much stuff to move, so you may not need movers. This could save a lot of money. You have several options:

Hire movers: You can hire a group of people to pick up your stuff and drop it off. With this you would have to pay for the labor and also the truck. If you don't have any furniture, this may not be the way to go.

Rent a moving truck: Once again, with limited items, it may not be worth renting a truck. But this could only cost you about $200 for an entire day. If you are moving hours or more away, it may be more beneficial for you to make that single trip.

Hiring some college students: Some college students or a group of young men move people using their own trucks for a very small amount. Some will even go a short distance for a case of beer.
Move yourself: If you only have clothes and some decorations from college you may be able to fit it in your car or a friends car. An SUV will generally be enough for a few items. Or you can make multiple trips.

Once you have figured out how to move, you need to figure out how to pack. Cardboard boxes are the easiest and least expensive way to go.

Buying new boxes: Office supply stores and self storage stores often have packages of boxes made for moving with places for you to write what room they go in for easier moving.
Buy on Craigslist: People move all the time, and then have nothing to do with their boxes except throw them out. Some people sell them on Craigslist to make a little money.
Get boxes for a liquor store: Liquor stores get their bottles in boxes that they have nothing to do with. Instead of throwing them out, they put them outside for people to use. These boxes would be great for moving.

As you pack, it is best for you to mark boxes with what they contain. This way you can put the box down in the room it belongs. You should also somehow mark the boxes with things you may need immedietly, such as toiletries, clothing you plan to wear, and cooking utinsels. As you unpack you should fully unpack a box before beginning the next. If you see a huge mess everywhere you may feel overwhelmed and discouraged.

Apartment Hunting

2009-01-10T20:15:00.000-08:00

One of the big necessities for living on your own, is finding a place to live. Generally, most people first starting on their own, decide to rent an apartment. It allows for easier mobility if you are transferred. It is also less maintenance. But it does not allow for very much decorating or renovations. And, when you move, you get nothing out of it. A house is an investment that usually involves property appreciation.

But let's say you have decided on an apartment. And you need to find one fast. The first thing to consider is whether or not you want a roommate:

Pros to having a roommate:
Less rent
Always have company

Don't have to buy everything

Safety in numbers

Pros to not having a roommate:

Don't have to worry if your roommate paid the bill

Can come home to a quiet apartment if you need to

You can watch what you want

You can decorate it the way you want

When you move, you don't have to divide the belongings

If you decide to get a roommate, you need to choose someone who is compatible with you. Someone you have already lived with, perhaps in college, is a good idea. Unless you spend a lot of time with someone, it isn't always a good idea to room with a friend. If you are new to a city, or you want to live with someone new, you can join a roommate finder service. The website www.roommates.com is a great website that gives you a profile and allows your to contact people for free. A few more are www.roommatenaion.com, www.roomster.com and www.roommates4you.com. You should communicate expectations with your potential roommate before you decide. You need to make sure this person follows a similar schedule, participates in similar activities, and feels the same about smoking, drinking, sleeping hours, cleanliness, shopping...
You (with your roommate) need to create a list of what you would like in your apartment. Some of these things may include: a price range, amenities (fireplace, kitchen island, bar, community pool, utilities, washer dryer...). You also need to figure out a location. Some areas of cities are more expensive simply because of location. Ask people you may know who live in the area which neighborhoods are more prestigious. You can also create a forum on craigslist.com or answers.yahoo.com. Housing around colleges are often less expensive without getting into bad neighborhoods.
Begin by looking at apartment websites by filling in your price range and amenities. Some good websites are www.apartments.com, www.apartmentfinder.com, and www.apartmentguide.com. Keep in mind that these websites may be misinformed and that it is always necessary to contact the apartment leasing office to get correct information. Specials are also often not advertised. Set aside a few days and explore your favorite apartments, but keep in mind that not all apartments are advertised. Keep your eyes open as you search and stop by any that catch your eyes. Here are some questions to ask the leasing office:

What specials are being run?

How much does it cost to apply?

Are there any deposits?

What utilities are included?

What utilities are required, such as gas or renters insurance?

Are pets allowed, what kind of deposit is required?

Is smoking allowed?

How fast are maintenance requests answered?

How much are washer/dryer rentals?

Are there energy efficient appliances?

When was it last renovated?

Where is the closest mall, grocery store, nightlife...?

Do you live here? Why not?

Is there a pool or fitness center?

What kind of community events are available?

Why should you choose this apartment complex?

What is the availability?

Is it possible to break the lease? How much does this cost?

Apartment reviews: Once you have narrowed down your choices, it is good to see what actual, unbiased, renters have to say. A great website is www.apartmentreviews.net. Keep in mind that generally speaking, people who say something on these websites come from either extreme, they either love it or hate it. Also keep in mind that some people are very sensitive. They may be an middle age person who goes to bed early, while you just got out of college and are used to noise until 11, 12, 1 o'clock.
Applying: By this point you should have it narrowed down to a few apartments. Now begins the application process. You shouldn't only apply to one apartment, because you may not get it or the apartment may become unavailable. If you are a first time renter and you are trying to get a luxury apartment, you may have some difficulties. Many apartments allow someone else, such as a parent, to sign a form stating that they will help you if necessary. This persons credit will be checked, but their name won't appear on the lease. This may help you get the apartment. Also remember that it costs money to apply for an apartment and it is often non-refundable.
Sign your lease: Once you are approved and are ready to move in, you have to make an appointment to sign your lease. This may take 30 minutes to an hour because the leasing specialist has to explain everything and you may have questions. In this meeting you will go over the lease and you are given the opportunity to read it. You get a copy at the end. You also pay your deposits (security, pet...). You will also get your key, and you are on your own! There are some important questions you may need to ask:

When is rent due?

What are acceptable forms of payment?

When is rent late? What are the late fees?

How do you make a maintenance request?

How much of the deposit is refundable?

Are there parking permits? Are the parking spaces assigned?

Are there any limitations to decorating the apartment?

Budgeting!

2009-01-10T19:37:00.000-08:00

Unless you're lucky, chances are you don't have a lot of extra money. You are the bottom wrung of your job, and your pay reflects this. You are on your own for the first time, and don't have your parents to bail you out. This blog will help you in your first years on your own, showing you how to make smart financial decisions, and how to save a few dollars here and there.

One of the most important things is for you to save your money from one month to spend in the next month. Basically, any money you bring in during January, put into a savings account and don't spend until February. This way you will know exactly how much you have to spend, rather than guesstimating, and possibly coming up short.
Create a budget! This will show you exactly how much of your money is necessary for bills, and how much you have to spend on groceries, clothing and entertainment. Your budget should include your set expenses such as rent and utilities first. Then you should add a guesstimation of the rest of your fluctuating expenses, such as gas and food. The remainder is what you have for entertainment: clothing, movies, bar tabs... The Internet is full of helpful websites with budgets. A great one is http://cgi.money.cnn.com/tools/instantbudget/instantbudget_101.jsp. This website has you fill out a 7 question analysis that allows you to see how your peers spend their money, and then has you fill out a column of your own spending. Another great website is http://financialplan.about.com/cs/budgeting/l/blbudget.htm. This one is simpler. It is n easy worksheet that can be printed and filled out.
Create a spending registrar for your checking account and write down every penny that goes in and out of that account. This is just a little booklet about the size of a check book. Your bank teller will be happy to give you a few registrars. Especially when you pay bills by check, some things may not go through for a week or two, enough time to forget that one bill in the five that you paid.
Get a credit card! But before you go out and get a $20,000 credit card limit and max it out, read this paragraph. Unless you are one of those one in 100 very organized people, it is nearly impossible to record every transaction you make. This is how a credit card with a very small limit will help. The best way would be to get one through your bank. They usually have the lowest rates, but are also the hardest to get. A website that compares credit cards is www.creditcards.com. This is a website that allows you to search for a credit card by what benefits you want, your credit, the issuer... Once you get a card, adjust the limit so that it reflects the amount you would be able to pay off in a single month. You should put your groceries, entertainment, clothing, and other various items on this card. Then every few days pay it off. If you get one through your bank, you should be able to transfer funds online from your checking account to your credit card at no additional charge. Record this amount that you transfer in your registrar. It is much easier to record a few large payments a week than dozens of small transactions.
Clip coupons! There are dozens of coupons and sales advertised in the Sunday paper every week. Most newspapers will have an option that involves only Sunday delivery, or you can always buy one. You could also borrow a friends paper once they are done using it. Before you go shopping always look through your coupons and pull the ones you may use. There are also some websites that will give you coupons online: www.coupons.com, www.valpak.com, www.couponcabin.com.
Speak with your superiors at you job about discount benefits. Many companies have partnered with other companies to offer each other discounts. You may be able to save money on eye exams, cell phone plans, or vacations. All of these are very expensive items that could blow through your budget, but if you get a discount you may be able to save a lot of money.
Shop at discount stores! Many stores, such as Marshall's and TJ Maxx are able to buy items at a discounted price and pass these savings on to you. Their stock isn't steady, but they constantly have very pricey and luxurious items at greatly discounted prices. I once found a nice Coach bag for about $150 at TJ Maxx. Plato's Closet (www.platoscloset.com) is a great second hand store for young people. Basically, you drop off your gently used clothes and get money back for them, and then you can buy gently used clothes at a discounted price. Just be sure to wash your items before you wear them.

Budgeting is one of the most important things of living on your own. It is very easy to get in trouble with money because you want to buy certain things. But you have to understand that anything you buy on a credit card, you have to pay back with interest. You should only spend money that you have, and record every penny. Pay your bills as soon as you get them so that you know what you have left. Shop at discount stores, it's the same item, just a better price.